31 May 2013
I think I was super hormonal yesterday. I'm sort of back to my normal self. I think, which could either be frightening to some or a really great thing! :)
After my post yesterday, I had a few really great messages that I wanted to include in my blog today. I'm not including them to toot my own horn, I'm including them because I think they apply to all my mommy friends and how we all doubt our abilities as parents.
My dearest Krista! I want you to know that I think of you and your family all the time! I wanted to give you my 2 cents, love and support!. I want to you to remember that you are the best mom you can be because that's what you worry about. And that all the sayings are true! Like God only gives you what you can handle. It shows you who will be there for you and how much you are loved! Think about this - every child has their obstacles. Wouldn't you want to know the obstacles you are about to face? God is just giving you a heads up of what's to come and reminding you to stop and cherish every moment. You get the chance to research and prepare yourself (as much as one can) for little bean. Please do not internalize your fears; you don't want that to be one of the things you share with little bean. Speak your fears, let it out and let it be gone. I feel that the only expectation you should have of your children are the special moments that they will give you. Miss Brinley, is so sweet and you not need to worry about her. She will understand everything as Ange and her family will make sure she has the same amount of attention as she always gets. Just think of you with Dani and Ryder. I know you have your fears but you are so loved and all the support in the world! If you feel like you do not have the strength we'll band together a bit tighter for you. Love you lots! xoxo
I have no doubt that your girls will be the best of friends. Look around and see what she will see! You and Ange and the kids! Honestly, I'm a bit envious of what your family has. Happy she will be, I can say that confidently and as for health? If she isn't healthy, she will get healthy. Bob will be your strength when it comes to health . As parents we want the best for our kids but I honestly think if we don't hide the fact that she has DS and act that she is different from anyone of us I think slowly we can change the views. No one wants to be judged but fact of the matter is that we always are. I still feel like some people judge me and act / treat me differently due to my skin colour. Remember its just ignorance and if there's just a bit of light on the subject things will be better. With integration it only shows us that only good things can come when we stand together. God only has the right amount of faith in you. He gave you a wonderful tall (I didn't know he was that tall! Now I don't want to meet him!) husband, a beautiful strong daughter and loving family and friends. I'm so glad and proud of you for starting your blog and that you share your most precious and private moments. (See? strength!)
Hi Krista ... I was at the gym yesterday and this woman was paying for a class. She had her 2 girls with her. 1 with DS and the other not. But what struck me was these 2 girls were soooo happy. They were horsing around, spinning, holding hands and just laughing and smiling. It was so cute and heart warming. The older sister had DS and she would not let her little sister out of her sight. They were both beautiful with blue eyes and thick reddish blonde hair. I thought of you the whole time and was thinking this will be Krista with 2 beautiful happy girls!!
As mommies, we try, we try so hard to make sure that our children are safe and healthy and well taken care of. I think that we sometimes feel that we need to do more, they need more love, they need more support, they need more of everything. We want them in the best mommy and tot groups :), good lord, we know how I feel about those special groups. We want them in the best schools, we want them to have the best teachers, we want them to have a great group of friends. I know that I need to stop and breathe and enjoy each and every moment with our two girls. I need to be in the moment and take in all of the joyous times that we will share with our princesses. These moments will pass and I don't want to regret not enjoying them.
I know that some of my future posts will be about the worries again, but today, my thoughts are to get back to reality and take in the rest of this pregnancy with a smile, when I'm not feeling like a piece of dung!!
Last thought, I went out for lunch with a friend yesterday. Her little guy, Henry, is one month old and around 7 pounds. He is adorable and sweet and perfect. That was Brinley's first time around a very little one. She loved him, she smiled and enjoyed watching little Henry. I had lots of snuggles and she was ok. I know that it was only for a brief time, but it went well. She knows that mommy has a baby in her belly and will point to baby when asked. I know that she doesn't really have a concept of what it means but we want to be consistent and tell her often that she won't be the only princess in this house. :)
Have a fantastic Friday!!
30 May 2013
I was thinking last night that for some who have just started reading the blog, they may wonder why it's called A Perfect Extra Chromosome. Last post was all about my fears and anxiety around mommy groups. I bet some people were like, does the mom have an extra chromosome? WHO??
So, just in case you have just started reading the blog, the little bean that I am cooking has the perfect extra chromosome. :)
I can't write about Little Bean all of the time as I don't always have a lot to say while she is still all snug inside of me. I am looking forward though to writing about all of her strengths and milestones and how much she blesses our lives.
I have been thinking more and more about what she will look like, what will the severity of the Down Syndrome be, will she have severe speech issues, will she develop health concerns after she is born?? I have received several messages since I started the blog and they have all been supportive and I truly appreciate it. I hear that people are proud of us and fully support our decision to continue this journey. I sometimes wonder what decision everybody else would make?? This was something that we never expected, so we never discussed that there could be a chance that baby would have any genetic gifts or health concerns. You ASSUME that all will be just fine. I have such ups and downs and usually now, I just internalize and don't share as much with the family. I don't know how many times I can say the same thing over again to family and friends, that I am scared and I do worry. I've heard from others that she is just a baby and she is our baby. I totally get that but I feel that we are headed into this with so many obstacles, so many hurdles. I think with a child with no known concerns, you just kind of take it all in stride. They hit their milestones, maybe a month or two after others, but they do it. I have the concern that this little one, it will take such a long time to crawl, walk, speak and oh, the thought of toilet training. I worry that my expectations will be set so high and then when she doesn't achieve them or it takes a long time, I will feel like I failed as a parent. I know the reality, I do, so having others tell me to take it one day at a time is all nice, but then I think about my own personality and the fact that I am a teacher, sometimes has its downfalls. I don't need for my children to be geniuses or win all of the sports awards at school but I want them to be.....I don't know the word. Normal is not the word. Average is not the word. Maybe I want them to be independent in the classroom and at home. I don't want my kids to have an aide or wear diapers at age 3 or have to visit the doctor on a regular basis. Does this make me sound like a bad mom?
My brother in law, who keeps things in perspective for me, tells me that I just need to relax. He said the other day that it's good to be prepared for the worst but honestly Krista, expect the best. Maybe she is 1% Down Syndrome. I loved when he said that to me. I know that the family will love her unconditionally, I'm not worried about that. I am worried about being the best mom that I can possibly be. I am worried that I don't do everything that I should be doing for my kids. I worry that I fail and that I don't do all that is necessary to ensure that both of these girls achieve their goals. I worry that this little bean gets more attention and I don't realize it and poor Brinley gets neglected. I worry that Brinley will resent her sister. I worry that what if one day, Brinley gets sick. I worry, I worry, I worry.
Oh for crap sakes, now I'm bawling and can't see the screen.
I am going to meet a friend today for lunch in the city and I am looking forward to it. She just had a beautiful baby boy and am looking forward to some snuggles. It's a good day to get out. :)
I just wanted to send a HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR FRIEND KIMMY!! I hope it's an amazing day! You deserve nothing but the best.
Happy Thursday to my friends and family. xoxoxo
28 May 2013
James decided to go to bed at midnight, I had no idea. I had to get up at my normal 2 hour interval to pee, go into the bathroom and there is my 6'4" husband laying in cold water in the tub reading his book! He looks at me "HI BABY!!" I don't think I said too much because I like to keep myself in a sleepy state! Went back to bed and fell asleep.
Well, 2:20am rolls around and James flies out of bed...
J - "Where's Brinley?"
K - "What?"
J - "Where's Brinley?"
K - "What?"
J - "Where's Brinley?"
K - "In her crib."
J - "Oh yeah."
K - "Are you having a nightmare?"
J - "No, I just couldn't remember where she was...."
K - "Hmmmm....ok."
Took me 45 minutes to fall back asleep! Boo.
Yesterday, I decided to check out some mommy and tot groups in the city. Brinley loves music, so I thought maybe I could find a good one for her, before baby makes her grand debut!
I found a couple and I had this flash before my eyes.....some of you have messaged me and think it's hilarious that I did this...no, no...it's just my imagination, what I think would happen!!! It may make it less funny now. ;)
I show up in my Lulu lemons, all stretched out in the front to accommodate my ever-growing belly, walk into the house and find myself surrounded by a dozen women, drinking their short, half soy, half milk with cream mocca vanilla latte with splenda and decaf, skim, extra hot wet caramel latte with whip' with a triple shot of caramel macchiato with skim milk, light foam, and extra caramel sauce lining the sides of the cup no whip but a pinch of nutmeg in a Venti cup, and an extra shot of vanilla. ALL NON-FAT!
I walk in and I can see that some of the women gave birth the week before and they are sporting their skinny jeans with no spanx. I say hello and sit down because I can't run now, I'm stuck in this hell!
The host of the party has provided some delicious canapés for all of us. A piece of cucumber on half a melba toast as well as cherry tomatoes that were organically grown in some place far, far, far away. If you are still hungry after your treat, you can grab a handful of chia seeds to top it off. I sit, drinking my Tim Horton's coffee because I like fat in my coffee.
One of the women then asks me what I do for a living. I feel confident because I can actually say that I am a stay at home mom, so they will think I have money. Then the next question, but what do you really do? I am proud to be a teacher. I AM A TEACHER. Then I hear from a few of them that they think it's cute and ask if I needed to go to school to become a teacher. They giggle. I swear under my breath. I can't leave yet. They ask me what my husband does and I tell them that he locates underground utilities for oil and gas companies. I hear again that it's a cute job but does he come home with dirty hands??!??? He sure does. They giggle.
I ask them what their husbands do for a living...I don't know why I ask because I am just digging a big hole, actually I wish I was in that hole and somebody was pouring the dirt on top of me. One woman tells me that her husband is the Chief of Neurology at The Foothills Hospital. I ask if he needed to go to school for that?? She glares at me.
The other woman tells me proudly that her husband is a plastic surgeon. I ask her if he has performed all of her surgeries? She glares at me.
I think it's all going smashingly well so far. It's then time to go for a walk to check out all the million dollar homes that are for sale in the community. All of their 2000 dollar strollers are lined up and colour coordinated outside of the house. I head to the car and grab mine, unfold it and plop Brinley into her 200 dollar stroller that only has one drink holder. I notice that my new friends each have 6 drink holders and an IPod docking station on their strollers. Oh, and look, they also have remote controls so they can program their stroller, they don't even have to push! That's sweet.
Go for a walk and pretend that I love the homes and decide to tell the women that we are planning on renovating our place sometime in the future. Like get a new towel rack or something. The women share their renovating stories, they had to stay at the Ritz while the house was completely gutted and they hired Nate Burkus to decorate the entire house. I LIKE MY TOWEL RACK!
The walk is over. Thank Goodness!
We all head back to our vehicles. Well, look at that, they all drive luxury SUVs. I put Brinley into her car seat, fold my stroller and hop into my SUV, my Chevy Traverse! I fart and head for the nearest McDonald's.
I'm not too sure if I have a pre-conceived notion of what mommy groups entail.... :)
Have a fantastic Tuesday!!
26 May 2013
Yesterday was a great day! My sister planned a lunch/ shopping day with the girls. We all headed to Evelyn's for lunch, it was featured on You Gotta Eat Here and it was delish!Danika really wanted to hang with the ladies, so I asked her if she wanted to come out with us. She seemed super happy! When we sat down, she started to cry. She wanted to talk to Ange in the bathroom. When they came back, I found out that she wanted to stay with her uncle and cousin and not hang out with us. She never said anything to me.
I told her that I would text uncle and him and Brinley could come by for ice cream when the ladies headed off for some shopping. That made her smile and it gave me a great excuse to eat ice cream.
After ice cream, James headed home and Danika and I found the shopping chicks! Danika told me that she had a major breakdown in the bathroom at the restaurant. I told her that I was aware of the breakdown. She then told me that it was all my fault. WHAT??? She then proceeded to tell me that I hadn't given her enough time to decide if she wanted to come for lunch or hangout with her uncle. Man, I thought I was just being a great auntie. Darn kids!!
After shopping, we headed back to the Koenig's and hung out until bedtime. It was a great day!
I've been dreaming a lot lately that James is leaving me. He makes it clear that he just doesn't want to stay married to me anymore and that he's done. Usually my sister is in the dream and she keeps supporting James and encouraging him to leave. When you have these dreams, they seem so real and it totally disturbs my whole night's sleep. When we woke up this morning I told him how much I didn't like him and that we needed to chat later. I needed to chat about my dream?? Obviously, it was so fresh that I felt I needed to talk to him about how real my dreams have been and he better not leave my ass. :)
We did chat and of course James reassured me just how much he loves me and that his little family means the world to him. He also said that he would do anything to make the marriage work now that these two little princesses are involved. He came over and kissed me. No more dreams, well, no more bad dreams.
It makes me think about marriages and how many marriages fail. When I was teaching, so many kids came from homes where mom and dad were no longer together. I don't like to call it a broken home, that sounds horrible. I had to conduct separate interviews because the parents couldn't stand to be in the same room, I had one mom try to hook me up with her ex while we were all in the room, I've had the parents bash each other the entire time, I've listened to how there are no rules at dad's house, but mom's house is like a military camp. Parents need to realize that it isn't about them, it is all about your children. Stop worrying about your feelings and realize that you brought these precious beings into the world and all they want and need is your love and support. It's also very difficult on the kids when they only spend a couple of days at each home, so by the time they feel a bit settled, they are shipped off to another home. Make it as consistent as possible, aim for one week, one week.
It is also so important that when you have your child or children at your home, don't put the other parent down, don't tell your child stories that will sway them to pull away from the other parent. Encourage your child to love each parent equally, it may be tough to do, very tough, but it isn't about you. Of course, if the other home is unhealthy and full of abuse, it is your job as a parent to keep your child safe. You need to talk to professionals and make sure that your child is removed from the abusive situation. I know that some of your are so exhausted from trying your hardest especially now that your children are a bit older and are able to make some of their own decisions, but you need to stick with it, you will always be the parent, your child needs you even if they have distanced themselves from you. They love you. Don't give up.
What your child needs.....
- Security—Kids must feel safe and sound. This means providing them with basic survival needs: shelter, food, clothing, medical care and protection from harm.
- Stability—Stability comes from family and community. Ideally, a family remains together in a stable household. But when that ideal breaks down, your child’s life must be as little disrupted as possible. Kids and families should also be part of larger units to give them a sense of belonging and cultural continuity.
- Consistency—Parents must synchronize their parenting. No “good cop, bad cop.” Consistency also means that important values should not be changed casually or for convenience.
- Emotional support—Parents’ words and actions should facilitate kids’ trust, respect, self-esteem, and, ultimately, independence.
- Love—Saying and showing you love your kids can overcome almost any parenting “mistakes” you might make. Even when your kids have disobeyed, angered, frustrated, and rebelled against you, they must know that you love them and that you’ll always love them.
- Education—Make sure your kids get the best possible education for their future. This, of course, includes school. But it also includes the invaluable lessons about life that you provide during the time you spend together.
- Positive role models—Parents are their kids’ first and most important role models. Be the kind of person you want them to become.
- Structure—Rules, boundaries, and limits: Without them, kids are forced to be adults before they are ready, and they lose respect for you and other adults.
24 May 2013
Well, it's still raining and it's still cloudy! I love the temperature but the gloomy part and the headache sucks the big wang chung! Today is the first day in a week that I don't have anything to do but laundry, dust and clean. I may even nap later!! I don't have to get ready, no makeup, nothing!! I'm happy!
I went to the HR Hospital yesterday to get baby's heartbeat checked and as we were walking to Unit 100, the nurse from down the hall says in front of many other doctors and nurses "you're the one in the HR Times. I read the article." Then another nurse repeats what the first nurse said then the others start asking questions. I felt a bit shy about it, which as you know, shy, I AM NOT!! All I said was "yes, that is me." Great answer Krista!! It just made me laugh that they were excited to see us! Funny moment! I felt like Justin Bieber! Totally kidding. :)
We had the most amazing nurses. That HR Hospital is wonderful and quiet and they take such good care of the patients. My blood pressure was a bit elevated when we got there but they hooked me up with some drugs and it came down fairly quickly. Baby Collins was movin all over the place so getting a consistent heartbeat was difficult but they managed to get it and it sounded good, still lots of hiccups but the number was decent, so that's what makes me happy.
I have to admit that I was on fire with my comments yesterday. I was full of wit! When we got home, James even said to me that I was quite witty! I told him that I'm always witty, he just doesn't ever listen to me. Usually when I say to him "are you listening?" He will more then likely respond with "WHAT?" I love my husband!
All went well at the hospital.
Brinley's Dinner!! :))
Auntie and Uncle took care of Brinley and even fed her dinner. Ange said that she ate just as much as her kiddies. She devoured all of her food. Uncle Bob loves his little niece so much and gets worried about her and usually tries to keep the kiddies at a distance so little Brinley stays safe. He also checks her food to make sure that it's cut up into tiny bite-sized pieces. It's pretty sweet!! He protects his little niece. <3
Ange put Brinley to bed and they had some snuggle time, book time and cuddles before sleepy time. I guess Brinley cried when Ange left the room, she has such a special connection with her Auntie, always goes to Ange and wants to be loved and snuggled. I get 2 second snuggles...I'm so jealous!! ;)
I received another sweet message today from a friend. We've known each other for years, but also have not seen each other for probably 14 or so years. It was one of those messages that makes you smile and realize that it's all good.
I thought I would send you a note letting you know that I think your blog is amazing. Every post has made me cry, especially the early ones. My husband and son now know that when I am sobbing uncontrollably, I am reading your stories. I am so very proud of you! Being blessed with a baby is such a joy. Being blessed with a baby that may have DS is an honour! God believes in you and your family. That all of you can handle the challenges that it will bring. Including all the smiles, hugs, laughter and unbiased look on life that your little one will show you. Thank you for sharing your journey. My heart is full of love knowing that you have chosen life over inconvenience. Great...I'm crying again! <3
I hope you all stay warm and dry today...if you live somewhere warm and sunny...poo on you! :)
I have entered a contest and I still need tons of votes to be number 1! If you are on Facebook, you can vote for me. I am on page 1 - Krista R. The contest is for my favourite mommy moment! <3 I am very competitive! :) You can vote once every 24 hours!!
23 May 2013
Yesterday was our ultrasound. I went alone to this one as I don't want James to take holidays now, instead I would prefer for him to wait until after baby arrives. Grandma was babysitting and auntie had to spend the afternoon at the kid's school.
I got in quickly which was nice so I was hoping that I would be in and out!! The tech checked her measurements and they looked great, her belly, head and femurs. I reminded her of the heart hiccup so she spent some extra time checking for concerns.
She left the room to show the doctor the pictures then normally she returns and I go to the waiting room, doctor comes in and tells me that things look pretty good. Instead, she returned with two doctors and a new tech to look more closely at her heart. I stayed calm but I did have a passing thought that baby was going to have be delivered today, at The Foothills and my hubby is out in the field somewhere...oh no!! The one doctor was speaking quietly to the other doctor, I heard "T21", yes, you don't have to whisper, we know that she has Down Syndrome, it's not a secret. :) The doctor then told me that they were going to page the cardiologist at the Children's Hospital to come and review the results. That's when a little panic set in. They told me that I would have to wait an hour before the cardiologist could meet with me to discuss the results.
Thank God, my dear friend, our Genetics Counsellor invited me to come and sit with her in her office, then we could chat and gossip about useless things. :) Karen is such a kind, caring and sweet person and I appreciated her support yesterday. It kept me nice and calm.
I tried calling my sister from her office but I couldn't get a hold of her, I didn't want to call James because that would send him into a panic and I didn't want him to worry about the baby or me.
I called Bob and told him what was going on, he said that he would let Ange know. Little did I know, Uncle Bob would get worried and call Ange multiple times as well as text her quite a few times. He loves us!! ;)
Dr. Somerset came in to discuss the results with me and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, well today anyways. He started off with saying that he hasn't seen a heartbeat like that before....oh great, that sounds just awesome! He also had a name for the condition, but I didn't really catch it, which was fine with me because I don't want to spend my time on Google, then I freak out. It's call Bi...something. She has a regular heartbeat but in between the beats, she has an extra beat. The concern is that it could get faster, which would mean immediate delivery. She was at 154 yesterday but he said that if it gets to 200, it's a huge worry. It will need to be monitored every week now until it resolves itself, which hopefully it does, soon. I'm hoping that because we are an hour away from the hospital, I can go to the HR Hospital every other week to check and then on the other weeks, I can go to my OB.
I was exhausted yesterday, mentally and physically. I know that God only gives you what you can handle, but he has way too much faith in me. I just need for all of this to work out and for this little one to arrive healthy and happy. It's a road that I never thought we would be on, so sometimes it's difficult to digest.
I always know that the best medicine for me is to go over to the Koenig's and unwind. We went over for an hour and had some laughs. Auntie and Brinley had a dance party, it was the cutest sight. Auntie and Uncle, Danika and Ryder love their cousin so much and honestly it melts my heart. The corny saying of 'Laughter is the Best Medicine'...it's true!
I received a really sweet message the other day. This made my whole day.....
Hi Krista, I've been reading your blog that Veronica has posted. I want you to know that I have a little girl with Down Syndrome in my class. I love her so much. I had her last year as well, and asked to move up to be with her again this year. She is so sweet, and joyful and smart. Her parents love her so much and so do all the kids in my class. I often have to tell my grade 4's to not help her 'too' much because they want to do everything for her! She is a little fashionista who loves shopping and has a new cute outfit on everyday. I just want you to know that your baby will be loved just as much as this little girl! You are doing such a great job and this sweet baby doesn't even know what kind of beautiful family awaits her!
I have entered a contest and I still need tons of votes to be number 1! If you are on Facebook, you can vote for me. I am on page 1 - Krista R. The contest is for my favourite mommy moment! <3 I am very competitive! :) You can vote once every 24 hours!!
Happy Thursday to all of you! I'm off to meet a friend for coffee. :)
22 May 2013
Yesterday, was a bit of a rough day, well at least the morning. I just didn't feel like myself at all. I think it started with the crappy sleep then having to get up early. Brinley decided to be a bit difficult and we both ended up with poo on us! I am not a big fan of poop on me or poop all over my daughter...I actually am just not a fan of poop, but I guess it needs to be done. She then unloaded the freshly folded cloth drawer, and then put her fingers all over the newly dusted table and TV stand. I was getting frustrated. I left the house when grandma showed up and I told her that I needed a little break. She said to take my time and just relax and enjoy some alone time. I cried, but only a little bit while driving to the hospital. I felt overwhelmed, anxious and just that feeling of I'm not sure that I can actually do all of this with a new baby who will have genetics gifts. I can handle 35 students and not get frustrated but can I be a mom to two precious, little girls? I find it so difficult sometimes to find the balance between mommy, wife, sister, daughter and my own personal time. How do you actually balance everything? I know the importance of ME time, but actually planning it and moving forward is sometimes difficult. I love being a mom and spending time with my baby girl and I know that spending anymore then a day away from her would not be possible for me. I miss her after a couple of hours, but I need more balance. I think when I visit Cocktails and Dreams next week, I will have to bring this up. I know that she wants me to plan Me time, but good lord, I am not always feeling well and I am exhausted by 7:00pm. This pregnancy has drained me, emotionally and physically.
Anyways, the women at the Rockyview were all complaining about the wait time, but I was happy just to be sitting in the waiting room, eating my yogurt in peace. I got into my appointment at a decent time and when my OB walked into the room she gave me a big hug. She is wonderful. The clinical nurse, Morgan also greets me with a big smile and is always caring and supportive and has been since day one.
My gestational diabetes testing came back all clear. I was floored. For sure I thought that I would have it again, I figured that it just naturally happens if you've already had it with one pregnancy. This is one less thing to worry about...woot!! Woot!!
The upset was that baby's heart hiccup/palpitation is still there. During my last appointment, we couldn't hear it, but this time we could clearly hear the palpitation. My doctor said not to worry about and that she feels confident that it will rectify itself before birth. I sure hope so. It makes me a bit sad to hear the hiccup but I am going to think optimistically and pray that it just heals on its own and that at birth, we deliver a happy, healthy princess.
This is huge!!! This isn't me. :)
Soooooo, it happened. I was at London Drugs yesterday and I went to go pay for my items. I got to the till and the cashier said to me that I must be close to my due date. I told her that the baby was due in August, she then proceeded to ask if I was expecting twins.
ARE YOU FOR REAL???? Is that something you really say to somebody?? I get that my belly is out there, this is baby number 2 and things got big, fast, but good lord, did you just ask me if I was expecting twins. You suck and I hope you have a rotten day. Poo on you and your twins comment. So many things that I wanted to say, but I came up with all of them after I left. I should really call there and tell her my comebacks! Yes, that would solve everything and make it all better. :)
Came home and found out that Brinley napped for 2 hours so grandma had relaxation time on the couch....after she made our bed. :) Oh grandma....you really don't have to make the bed. I don't make it because bed bugs love warmth, so if I made the bed, they would find a home under the duvet and multiply. This way, the sheets are exposed and it's all chilly so they find another home.
I also realized that Brinley is learning lots at this age and her unloading drawers and exploring the house, is great for brain development and I need to remind myself that she is learning. Let it go Krista. Let it go.
Side note, Bed, Bath and Beyond has king and queen sized sheets on sale. 800 thread count for 67 bucks, with the coupon. They are happy and comfy and silky on my skin! I should really get paid for my advertising. :)
Today, I head back to the Foothills for my ultrasound. I will remind them of the hiccup. I'm hoping that her measurements are still on track and that things look great. Ultrasounds with this little one are more stressful and I worry about her health. Send prayers and good vibes my way please.
I have entered a contest and I still need tons of votes to be number 1! If you are on Facebook, you can vote for me. I am on page 1 - Krista R. The contest is for my favourite mommy moment! <3 I am very competitive! :)
Have a wonderful hump day!! :)
21 May 2013
So, I've been a bit of a slacker this weekend with posting...the weather was great so we got out for some family fun!! Yesterday was a busy but super fun day. We went to the Little Britches Parade...there is an 'R' in britches, don't leave that out!! We went with Ange and Ryder, it was a great parade! Brinley waved the entire time, from start to finish! It was pretty sweet. After the parade, it was nap time for daddy and Brinley. There was a rodeo in the afternoon, but it wasn't a very large arena, so we headed to George Lane Park instead. I love that Brinley is getting to that age where she's having more fun. She goes on the swing and loves swinging high! I hope she's not a roller coaster kinda girl cause daddy and mommy don't do rides! Hopefully Danika and Ryder will indulge her and take her on the spiny and crazy rides. I'm thinking though that if she throws up at the beginning of her ride experience, we are set. No more rides.
After the park, we went for dinner then off to Ryder's soccer practice. That kid is crazy on the field. Gets the ball and goes for it, doesn't matter which net, just goes. Got Brinley home to bed then it was momma's turn. I was exhausted but couldn't fall asleep until after 11:00pm. Up at 6:30am so I could shower before Brinley woke up and now I'm tired and it's only 8:00am. Oh well, the joys of motherhood!!
Off to the OB today for a check up. I am really hoping that I get in right away. I don't enjoy waiting for over an hour for a 10 minute appointment. Listen to me today, all whiny and complaining. :)
A little random....I just had a major sneeze attack and peed my pants, so off to change after the blog. Man, this peeing thing gets annoying! I should have left my pyjamas on until it was time to go to the appointment. Oh well....it's going to be a long day!!
Some funnies for the day! I love kid quotes!!
Happy, sunny Tuesday!! :)
Side note....I have entered a contest and I still need tons of votes to be number 1! If you are on Facebook, you can vote for me. I am on page 1 - Krista R. The contest is for my favourite mommy moment! <3 I am very competitive! :)
19 May 2013
Yesterday, James and I spent an hour on the computer trying to figure out what would be a fun, family activity for the day. There was an awesome children's festival going on in Banff, but by the time we got there, it would have been over in an hour and all the tickets to the main events were sold out. There was a lady bug festival, but it seemed kind of hippie and flowery, which isn't really us. Thought about Calaway Park and Heritage Park but the last time we went out and I had to do a lot of walking, I'm pretty sure I was on death's door the next day!! Ohhhhh!!! What about the circus??!!??! Yes, the circus, check for tickets, looks great. Tell my sister and she informs me that there have been rumours about animal cruelty and that protesters would be present for all of the events. I refuse to spend money on that....animal cruelty, not ok. What to do?? We ended up going to Walmart to get some better diapers since Brinley is soaking through her diaper, sleeper and sleeping bag at night. I heard that Huggies Overnights are the best....last night was a success! After Walmart, we went to a park in Okotoks and pushed Brinley on the swing. It was nice.It wasn't really what we had planned, but it was still an enjoyable day spent with my little family.
Next thought...on Friday, when Brinley and I were leaving the Koenig's, there was a teenager delivery flyers to all of the homes. The boy had Down Syndrome. I notice a lot more now. I see kids with Down Syndrome and I observe their behaviours and listen to their words. I never thought I would be doing this...
Anyways, this boy walked right up to me, handed me the flyers, I said "thank you" and he looked me straight in the eyes and said "you're welcome", with a big smile. I have to tell you that it just melted my heart. I called my sister right away and told her about this sweet boy. I also said to her that any other teenager, from my experiences so far, would have seen me, grabbed the flyers and chucked them up on the doorstep and moved onto the next house. It was a great moment.
Today is cloudy and I'm sure the rain is coming. I was up a lot last night with a bad headache. I had James get me an icepack in the middle of the night and I took plenty of Tylenol. I miss taking drugs. I like knowing that when I take a couple Advil, the headache will dissipate. A few more months I can get back to my regular drug taking schedule. ;)
One of my faves!! :)
Children Learn What They Live
- Dorothy Law Neite If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child learns to feel shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
Side note....I have entered a contest and I still need at least 500 votes to be number 1! If you are on Facebook, you can vote for me. I am on page 1 - Krista R. The contest is for my favourite mommy moment! <3 I am very competitive! :)
17 May 2013
This says it all. It's a great read for parents. <3
1. You are a hero for your kids. You are. You're a go-the-distance, fight-the-dragon, face-the-challenges hero for your kids. Taking a beating makes that more true. Not less.
2. We all struggle. Every parent. Everywhere. We all second-guess ourselves. And we all want to quit sometimes. Hold the good times close, and when things are tough, remember, "this, too, shall pass."
3. Finding the funny may not save your soul, but it will save your sanity. Or maybe it's the other way around. Either way, look for the humor and embrace the crazy. Laughter is a lifeline.
4. Every day, you will feel like you have mishandled something. Like you've been impatient. Like you've misjudged. Like you've been too harsh. Like you've been too lenient. You may be right. Apologize if you need to and then, whatever. Seriously. Just whatever. Let it go.
5. The crazy, the crying, the cuddles. The screaming, the sacred, the scared. The minutes, the magic, the mess. It's all part of it. And it's all worth it.
6. Family is the best. Even when it's not perfect. And it's never perfect. Ever.
7. At the end of organization, at the end of patience, at the end of perfection, we die to ourselves. And then love rises from the ashes. It sucks. And then it gets better. And then it sucks again. Still, love rises.
8. You will never regret parenting. Except for the teeny, tiny tons of times when you secretly wonder if you maybe regret it just a little. But, overall, never. And overall is what counts in the end.
9. Parenting is like climbing the big mountain. Look for the base camp. That's where you rest, meet other climbers, take in oxygen and acclimatize. Base camp is what makes summiting possible.
10. You are not alone in this strange, vast, parenting ocean. Even in the dark of night. You are not alone. You're not.
11. Kids know the way to magical and they'll give you a free pass to come along. Breathe in the magic as long as you can, because that same kid is going to poop his pants in just a minute.
12. There's a very fine line between enjoying the chaos and barely surviving. Actually, there's no line at all. It's all mixed up together. That "fine line" thing is a lie.
13. If you pay attention, kids will teach you how to laugh loudly, how to love deeply and how to live fully. They will also ruin all your stuff.
14. Any number of kids is a lot of kids.
15. Look for joy. You'll find it in the middle of the busy. Or under the ridiculous. Or hanging from the overwhelmed in its underpants. Joy's like that. It's in the middle of everything. It's completely unpredictable. And it will surprise you when you're not expecting it. Like vomit and diarrhea, except good.
16. You will fall apart and do it all wrong. Forgive yourself. Ask your kids to forgive you. Set an example of resilient fallibility. Set an example of practicing the art of love -- both loving yourself and loving others. No one does this parenting gig right the first time. Or the last time. Or the times in between. Showing your kids how to keep going after getting it wrong is a wonderful gift to give them.
17. Kids are difficult, gross, confusing and awesome. So are you.
18. Parenting will bring you face-to-face with yourself. It may be terrifying. It may break you. But it will also rebuild you, and you will be stronger than you ever thought possible.
19. Balance is a myth. Parenting isn't a tight-rope walk; it's a dance. Strive for rhythm instead of balance, and trust yourself to move to the ever-changing beat.
20. Yes, you will have days where you wonder where the hell the capable and organized you went. Yes, you will sit on the floor of the main aisle at Target by the check-out area with a child who is thrashing, screaming and calling you names. Yes, you will have to tell your child that the dog is not a napkin and to put down the urinal cake. If you do not do all those things literally, then you will do them figuratively. And yes, you will also hold that child and rock back and forth and tell him you love him and tell him he's safe and tell him you're not leaving even though he will someday leave you. This is parenting. It is tragic and triumphant. Messy and magical. Sacred and spectacular. And it is, always, fiercely worthwhile.
Side note....I have entered a contest and I still need at least 400 votes to be number 1! If you are on Facebook, you can vote for me. I am on page 1 - Krista R. The contest is for my favourite mommy moment! <3 I am very competitive! :)
Heading our for lunch today with my lovely friend Robin. Looking forward to it. xo
Have a great Friday my friends!!
16 May 2013
Well it's only 8:00am and I could already use an Orange Julius! That's sad. I wonder if I can make my own at home. Going to have to research.
I had another dream last night, I dream this one quite often. I am at work but at the school that I only spent 2 years teaching at, and I always check my teacher mailbox in the staffroom. It sounds silly but it happens in each dream. I think I miss teaching and seeing the kids but obviously at this point, I won't be heading back, maybe later on once the girls are in school. It's tough sometimes not working but on the other hand, it's lovely.
One of my high school girls contacted me yesterday and I was so excited to hear that she is doing well. She wanted me to be a reference for a position that she was applying for at a cleaning company. She is a good girl, bright and very capable. I worry so much about the girls and hope that they are making healthy choices. I've told them so many times that they are not invincible, but I know that at the age they are at, it's hard to believe that they can't get through anything, binge drinking, drugs and high risk behaviour.
I remember clear as day...I was teaching and a few past girls called the classroom because they heard that one of their former classmates had died. I knew that it wasn't true because this girl was awesome and finding her way in the world. She had just moved to Regina to live with her dad and to continue to get her life on track. Her and I had such a great bond. I just adored her and knew that she would succeed. I told the girls that I would contact her mom and grandparents and get back to them as soon as possible. I called the family and left messages on both phones asking for them to clear up the rumour.
Mom called me back within the hour and when I answered the phone, I could hear on the other end that it wasn't a rumour. There was no way! There was just no way!! Thank God the rest of my girls were in therapy when I took the call as I just broke down and to be honest, I didn't know what to do with myself. I paced the hallway and cried and questioned and bashed people and cried some more. I called my principal, she came down to sit with me and comfort myself and the behaviour support worker. We were just devastated.
I attended to funeral in Regina with my sister and it was tough, very tough. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had died.
I learned from her mom that she had gone over to a cousin's house, who had been recently released from jail and coming off of heroin. She had methadone in the house, in the form of orange juice. My student drank the orange juice, I truly believe that she didn't know what it was then she had some valium. One drug speeds up your heart rate and the other slows it down. She didn't feel well, so she went to bed early on in the evening. An older man who was over at the time, followed her to bed. I guess her heart stopped at around midnight but nobody called for help until 3:00am. How sad!
Her mom has tried to get a more thorough investigation into the case but has been told many times that her daughter lived a high risk lifestyle and it was more or less expected that something like this would eventually happen. They didn't know the girl I knew...kind and funny and considerate and one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She was just the best.
I think about her often. Her mom gave me some of her favourite possessions, which I still have and look at often. Her mom texts me once in a while to check in and give me an update on her life, which it sounds like she is healing and coping with the loss of her daughter. I couldn't imagine the roller coaster ride that she is on every single day.
Next thought, I am off to the OB next week as well as another ultrasound. I'm hoping that the wait at the OB's office isn't as long as last time, but grandma is going to stay here with Brinley so she can have her nap. Gotta love grandma!! I am looking forward to the ultrasound and hopefully we are able to get a good picture of Little Bean. We haven't had one since week 12 and she was just so small, maybe they can even do a 3D shot. I'll ask. I'm hoping that her growth is still on target and that her heartbeat is still strong and consistent. I think with Brinley, I took her health for granted when we went for ultrasounds. I just assumed that all was good and everything was on track. I never really worried too much about the high blood pressure and gestational diabetes. I just figured that all would work out just fine. With this little bean, I worry about all of it....I pray sometimes that all remains on track. I can't wait to hold her and love her and kiss her and tell her that she is perfect and beautiful.
I need to go hang with a baby who is a bit cranky today. We even called auntie to have a chat but Princess Brinley was so moody that we had to get off the phone. Crazy kid!!
I hope you have a wonderful Thursday....this is the longest week ever. :)
15 May 2013
Ryder - "Auntie, I want that."
Auntie - "You won't like it."
Ryder - "I want it!"
Auntie - "You won't like it, it's an egg salad sandwich."
Ryder - "I want half."
Auntie - "You won't like it."
Ryder - "I want half."
Auntie - "Here, take a bite of mine and if you like it, I will give you half."
Ryder - "I want half."
Auntie - "TAKE A BITE!!!!!!!"
Ryder - "Ok."
So he takes a big bite, chew, chew, chew, gag, chew, gag, chew, gag, gag. I watched with a little smile on my face. Poor little guy didn't want to admit that it was icky!! I continued to watch him chew, then finally I asked him if he liked it. To my surprise, he said that he didn't like it at all. ;)
Auntie - "Go spit it out sweetie."
HA!! HA!! HA!!! It was too funny!!
I had to wake Brinley up from her nap in order to get Ry to school on time. Poor little girl cried when I woke her up...there was no pinching or yelling involved, just a gentle rub on the arm but I sure ticked her off. Had to get the kids in the car, carried Brinley down the stairs along with my purse, with Ry behind me. I got Brinley in the car and I can hear Ry yelling at me. "I told you to wait for me. Why did you go ahead? You were supposed to wait."
"Ry, I couldn't because your cousin weighs 30 pounds and I'm pregnant and tired and out of shape and hot and hungry and I need to get you to school on time."
"Auntie, I told you to wait for me."
Got to school on time, make him hug me and tell me that he loves me, cause I'm that kind of auntie. I went to the gym to find Danika to give her a hug and some love. I'm pretty sure she does more talking at lunch then eating because when I got there, some kids were already finished lunch and Danika hadn't even started yet. Silly girl!! A talker, just like her momma!! :)
Oh poop, I haven't fed Brinley yet and I'm craving an Orange Julius!!! If they only had lemonade flavour. Made a detour to Dairy Queen to get my treat, figured little Brinley would survive. Got home, fed the Princess a grilled cheese and cleaned up Ryder's tornado!!
Man, 2 kids is a whole lot of work! What the heck!!??? I may need one nanny per child, wait, that requires lots of money....hmmmm......maybe once I get into my own routine with Brinley and Little Bean, it'll all be good. I'm worried that I am going to end up in a mental institution, drooling, being fed apple sauce by my family while rocking back and forth, back and forth. I am worried about my posts after having this next princess, they may not make sense, they may involve tantrums, tears, frustration, booze. I think I need to go lay down.
14 May 2013
Today, I went in for my gestational diabetes testing. I kept checking my blood sugar before I went, in hopes that I would 'pass' the test. When I woke up, I was at 5.9 and then 6.3 when I left for the appointment. Both were fine and well within the safe boundaries. I chugged down the orange syrup drink, which actually wasn't too bad, and sat around with Brinley for an hour. The lab out here was packed, which isn't a common sight, so I panicked when I got there because little Brinley would get bored and tired within a couple of hours. I decided to go straight to the back to see if I, Krista, would have to wait. Princess Krista doesn't wait in line ups!! Ok, totally kidding, but I did go back and check. SCORE!!! I didn't have to wait, I took the drink and waited an hour, then had my blood checked. I am crossing my fingers in hopes that it comes back ok. I would love to not have gestational diabetes, just one less thing to worry about. The only good thing about it is that you really watch everything that goes in your mouth. A lot of protein and no SLURPEES. Boo hoo!!!
The lab tech was super lovely and kind. I told her that this Little Bean has Down Syndrome. How she responded brought tears to my eyes. She told me that she thought it was just great and that we should be happy with our choice to continue on with this journey. She told me that her little girls are both in speech therapy and that there is something else going on with her youngest but they aren't too sure what yet, ADHD or perhaps Aspergers. She said to me that she remembers looking at the ultrasound screen and seeing this perfect little girl and she fell in love. She also said that you don't know what is to come. You don't know if your child is going to have learning difficulties or health concerns. You just love your kids. She also mentioned that she knows a little one with Down Syndrome and she is striving and doing great in school and has friends. I love these stories. I love the reassurance. I love the feeling that it will be ok. I still get scared and I still worry.
I said the most ridiculous thing at brunch the other day with all of our families. I blame it on pregnancy and hanging out with a 14 month old. My comment was "maybe this baby will come out looking like a Koenig." So this would mean that the baby would look like my brother-in-law, which would mean that we would have hooked up. Good lord Krista. Of course the families laughed and then I made it clear, I hope, that this baby and Brinley may look nothing alike, just like the Koenig children. That was my point. It totally came out wrong. I apologized to Ange, but of course she thought nothing of it. I must say ridiculous things all the time that the families didn't even flinch at my silliness. I need to go back to work and have some more adult conversations.
I don't have the link yet to the article but this is what is looks like. :)
Last thought....our story was in the HR Times today and he did a pretty good job. My quotes are accurate but a couple of the facts are inaccurate. My sister and brother live in HR, well that would mean that my sister is married to our brother, which I'm pretty sure isn't accurate and that my folks live down the street. No, they don't, but I wish they did, I think. :) The whole interview was put on tape, so to include information which was not said, is not very professional, but I am happy that there is a write up. Oh, one more thing, no picture of James, just Brinley and I. He did have a part in the making of this baby, so you would think that we would all be represented in the article.
I also am confused at why he would take stats from Boston and put use them in the article. That just doesn't apply to us. Statistics from Alberta would have been more beneficial and appropriate....maybe I should switch to journalism. :)
Happy Tuesday! <3
13 May 2013
Yesterday was a perfect day. Our reservation was the last seating of the day so the buffet wasn't extremely full but we made sure to get what we wanted by saying a little bit louder, I wish there was more bacon. We are so discreet. I couldn't really taste anything because my taste buds are shot right now but I'm pretty sure it was delish AND I didn't have to cook. The other perfect part of the day was that we paid for nothing...how sweet is that. We didn't even pitch in, no tip, no nothing. Thanks to the family for picking up the bill.
The Mother's Day gifts were a hit and the mommas loved them. As I have said before, I don't like crafts but it just means so much more and the moms always love the thought and time that went into each one. After brunch, we headed back to the Koenig house to hang out. It was such a muggy day and so hot upstairs, so we headed to the basement and I was in heaven. I love their house, hot upstairs and beautifully cool in the basement. Brinley only had one nap yesterday so we thought we would have to head home for number 2, but she made it until after 7:00pm, no crying, no whining, just enjoyed her cuddles with Auntie and Grandma. I love that my family loves our baby girl so much. It is the best sight and the best feeling. She is just the sweetest little girl.
Baby Bean wasn't really moving last night and I had some cramping. I was trying to wake her up, but I guess she was tired too. I'm not a huge fan of the kicks and punches, but I like to know that she's ok. This morning, she is back at it, lots of kicks. Makes me exhale a bit. Poor little girl, momma shaking her belly and having daddy shout, we are such losers!!
Tomorrow I will head to the lab to get my gestational diabetes testing done. I'm pretty sure I will have it again, but this time, I don't think I will go to the diabetes clinic every week or every other week. It's not as easy this time with having a baby to tote along. The appointments were also useless. I know how to check my blood, I know how to record the numbers and more importantly, I know exactly what and what not to eat. When I was preggers with Brinley, I was on target, always. I took it all very seriously and so did my family. I remember telling my sister that after delivery, all I wanted was Breyer's Ice Cream and butterscotch sauce. The day after we came home, the Koenig's hooked me up!! It was delish and perfect!!
I was also on bed rest at my parent's house. Home Care doesn't come out to HR so James and I lived with Ma and Pa for 6 weeks. Momma cooked all of our meals and took great care of both of us. I know that some people would loathe the idea of living with your parents, but for us it was awesome. We had our own space, we all had a routine, we all headed to bed at 9:00pm every night, it was quite comical. The day we came home with Brinley, dad still didn't want us to go home, he wanted us to stay there just a bit longer. We managed one night but needed to get our own routine started. I remember crying all the way back home. Besides being incredibly hormonal, I already missed my mom and dad. We were so thankful that they allowed us and welcomed us into their home for all that time.
Time to go play with a baby! I hope today is a wonderful and beautiful day for all of you. xo