8 May 2013

Sugar Crisps and Number 1.....

Yesterday we had our weekly OB appointment and it went great. The 1.5 hour wait to get in wasn't so awesome but I had grandma there to keep Brinley entertained. She was a perfect, little girl. No crying, no whining, just happy. It wasn't my usual doctor, which was just fine. She was thorough and made sure that she went through all of my records and took some notes for herself. I had gestational diabetes with Brinley as well as high blood pressure so we need to stay on top of all of that fun stuff. My BP was pretty good yesterday, so the meds are doing their job! Little Bean's heartbeat was also perfect. We didn't hear any palpitations or hiccups, just a beautiful, strong heartbeat. It's such a wonderful sound. That was grandma's first time. She told me after that she was worried about hearing a little hiccup and that it could have made her sad, but no need, it was perfect. I have my requisition forms for blood work and one for the awful gestational diabetes test. YAY!!!! I'll get that done soon.

I am now carrying a viable baby. We are officially 6 months and that's without rounding up! The other night while I was laying in bed, the thought crossed my mind that you can terminate a pregnancy up to 23 weeks 6 days. I don't know why I thought about it as we are on this journey and we are doing it! I couldn't imagine a mother and father having to make the decision to terminate at this point, whether by choice or because baby has a severe and terminal medical condition. How traumatizing and upsetting. I feel this little girl kicking and rolling and punching, not that I love the feeling, but I enjoy knowing that she is doing just fine.

I had a dream the other night, I just forgot what I was going to write. Crap...give me a second..............Oh yes, my water broke at 36 weeks, not too bad but kind of early. The contractions hit quick and hard. We didn't have time to go to Calgary so we had to go to the HR Hospital. I got there and we delivered quickly. I told the doctor first that Brinley had shot out like a rocket and gave me a third degree tear, so if he could ease this one out, that would be great. I love the control I have over my dreams sometimes. :)
I delivered and the doctor asked if we were sure that she had Down Syndrome??? Oh my goodness....we informed him that we paid almost 1000 dollars to have the NIPT done as well as an amnio just to make sure. Great, so now she doesn't have Down Syndrome???!???! Wait, that's great news! Wait, we are all prepared, I think, to have a baby with Down Syndrome. I don't want a baby without Down Syndrome! Of course I want a baby without Down Syndrome. Head was spinning. Tears were falling. So confused.
I woke up. When I dream about this little bean, I wake up exhausted. I try not to over-analyze my dreams but I can't help but try to figure out what it all means. I think it's my fears. I have so many fears. I think about how the world is going to accept this little girl. I think about how her cousins are going to be her protectors. I think about how her Auntie and Uncle won't tolerate any crap from anybody. I think about my loud and overbearing self. I think about how James will deal with everything. I think about his laid back personality and how he internalizes his emotions. It's different when this little one is on the inside because I feel that I am totally facing the unknown. I think way too much. I know that when this baby gets here, my fears will subside, hopefully, sort of, a bit. As parents, you just worry so much about your kids. You want them to love life, their family, school and others. It's just one more added worry when your child is born with a special genetic gift. You worry even more. I need to remember, one day at a time. It's such a rollercoaster of feelings and emotions. I usually have these thoughts after a dream or an appointment. Gets me thinking. I need to think like man. ;)

Last thought....I had a bowl of Sugar Crisps the other day. Had to go to the bathroom a little while later, just number 1 and get this, my urine smelled exactly like Sugar Crisps. Honestly, go buy a box!! It was big news in our house! I may need more fresh air. :)

Happy Wednesday to you my friends. <3


  1. OH MY you almost made me shoot coffee out my nose...I thought I was the only one to notice the Sugar Crips thing... although I can't remember the lasttime I had Sugar Crips has to be at least 10 years. :) BUT YES you need to get out

    Rasing kids of all kinds is tough and you never stop worrying the boy is going to graduate next year an I have a whole other world of worries that go through my head, you are not alone friend

  2. Go buy a box Wilson!! It's fun!
    I know that we all worry, that's just what parents do. I need to relax and know that I can't control everything....

  3. When Russell was born there was a little girl next to him in the NICU who had been born at 25 weeks. She actually went home before Russell did! It's hard to imagine that just two weeks before she was born she could have been terminated. It's just sad. Anyway...

    Once your baby is born, many of these fears are going to fade away. I don't have the same strong fears I once had about Russell's future. I just know everything will be ok.

    Also, haha, thanks for the tip on the sugar crisp ;)

  4. I can't believe she went home before Russell! Holy!!
    When they are in the inside, you worry, then they come out and it's a whole new set of worries. Thank you for that advice Jenny! Makes me feel better.
    Go buy a box! Trust me, fun for all of you! :)

  5. Wow... your paragraph about your fears describe mine to a T. For the most part I am ok with all this but once it a while it just hits me.....

    1. Yup...that's exactly what happens. It just hits. I think once these little beans are in the world, we will be much better. :)