Just a quickie today! :) Well, I thought it was going to be a quickie, then I started typing!
Paid our taxes, which let's be honest would have allowed us to go on a nice tropical vacation. I love how the government gives you EI then at the end tells you that you weren't really taxed all that much so we are going to have you pay thousands back!! What a kind and loving thing to do!! Taxes suck!
Lately in my dreams, I have been beating people up! What is going on?? I swear a lot and throw punches. You would think that I would wake up feeling relieved that I took some people down, but no, I'm not really enjoying it! Last night, I also dreamt that Brinley lost her cuteness and she wasn't walking yet nor could she really talk. I was trying to explain to others that she was only 13 months, but nobody believed me because she was so tall. I don't know if these are my fears again with this little bean. Now, I am not hung up on cuteness and let's be honest, little girls with DS are adorable. I think with being a teacher, I set my standards pretty high. I don't need brilliant children, but I do think that as parents, you need to give your child as many opportunities as you can for them to grow and develop. I want Brinley and Baby Collins to explore the world, or at least some of it, I want them to learn from others, I want them to appreciate different religions and cultures, I want them to respect others who have disabilities and to be understanding and loving kids. I also want them to respect themselves, their bodies and their minds. It is so important to James and to me that we do all that we can as parents to show these two precious girls how to love and be loved and pray that they become the best that they can be. I want the best for my kids. I look at Brinley all of the time and tell James that the love I feel for Brinley is indescribable. I have never loved another being the way I love our little girl. Being a parent, is by far the most difficult job but holy crap is it the most rewarding. I am so glad that I am a mom.
So I made the nausea pops yesterday and saved the rest in the fridge. I went to have popsicle this morning and well, I can't get them out. The sticks come out but not the popsicle. I guess that's what happens when you buy 2 dollar molds. So, I'm thinking that my only option is getting a spoon and start digging. I had some of the leftover smoothie this morning and it truly is delish. The problem, without sharing too much information, fruit and small amounts of it do something to my bowels. I have weak sauce bowels. I love fruit and could eat it all day but.......good lord.......
Last thought.....I was talking to a friend yesterday who recently had a baby and it brought back some memories. :) I guess her little one is having troubles latching and she is not producing enough milk. I reassured her that it is normal and OK. I didn't produce enough milk with Brinley. I was taking 13 pills a day, pumping and breastfeeding. I did this for 4 months, then decided that it wasn't happening anymore. I was not hung up on breastfeeding nor am I one of those moms who is all crazy that you HAVE to breastfeed and that is the ONLY way to go. You do what works and what is best for you and your family. I had some people tell me that they were sorry that I couldn't breastfeed. I was confused...do you think we aren't feeding her any food?? I give her my one ounce then watch her starve for a few hours? We fed her, it's call formula and she loved it. I loved it! James loved it! It gave me the freedom to go out and it allowed James to bond with his daughter. On a selfish note, I would have loved to breastfeed to help with weight loss but it didn't work, I was also kind of excited to get those porn star boobs, that didn't happen. It all worked out...sort of...my boobs are a bit droopier and I didn't lose all the baby weight but Brinley is happy and healthy and that's what matters. I'm pretty sure that when she starts school, the teacher won't ask us if our baby was breastfed or formula fed. I don't think they separate those kids. I'm pretty sure she will be just fine! :)
Happy Friday!!! :)
Nicole, today's blog is for you!! xo