Ok...I know that we are only 21 weeks into the pregnancy but we are planners and we are having troubles coming up with a name. With Brinley, we knew pretty much even before we got pregnant, first and middle names.
Baby Collins is tough for us. We had a name picked out and loved it but it's quite a popular name and making its way up on the charts. We want something that is going to be just perfect!!
I've decided to have a friendly competition, I'm sure James will be fine with it all. He'll know once he reads the blog and we all know that once it's on the blog, it's permanent.
I, meaning sort of we, want you guys to come up with some suggestions. We do want it to have meaning and we want it to be a strong name but nothing too crazy and unusual. We have one or two middle names picked out so we are ok there, but we need a name for this wonderful little bean. If we choose your suggested name, you win a prize!! I am into prizes and we all love gifts. For those of you who don't know me, I give good presents. I have great taste, well I think I do, maybe my friends can vouch for me. :)
This is a message that I received last night from a very dear friend. <3
Hi Krista - love the blog! I work with a woman, her first child, M, who is now 41, has Downs Syndrome. Her mother offered these thought to share with you.
There are many unknowns and it is what you have to get used to - unknown. Each of these children are like all of us, unique and individual! Never lower your expectations. My M was capable because I would not listen to all the negatives, they said she would never be toilet trained, she was, they said she would never read, she reads and loves to read. We taught her all the social graces and she is well mannered, she went everywhere with me and 35 years ago when a woman stared at her, she asked what she was looking at! I beamed - that's my M!!!!
This weekend her mother, a volunteer coach, is off to Edmonton with her daughter and a bus of Special Olympics athletes. She has 8 including her daughter who bowl. As I left today her mother, with her beautiful smile said "yes I have 8 athletes to be up Saturday at 5:30am." I promptly replied "I guess it's showering the night before and no makeup" and she said, "well I will ask each of them if they would prefer to get up even earlier or shower Friday night - after all, they need to keep their routines." As I listened to her and could hear and see the love she had for her daughter and all of her athletes. I knew I had to share all of this with you. Krista you will be like her mother - endless love for your little bean. M has challenges, she lives independently in supported living, has friends and a loving family. Most importantly she has a family who loves her, supports her and is very proud of her and her accomplishments.
Her mother is her advocate and she is tenacious - she used to volunteer for the Downs Syndrome Association and suggested it might be a good resource for you.
I really appreciated this message. This little girl is going to change so many lives and all for the better. I am already so in love with her and can't wait to meet her and hold her and tell her that she is the most beautiful and perfect little girl. It's going to be a long and busy journey, but we can do it. Raising kids is hard..period.
Lastly, a post from Amy Julia Becker. Thank you to my wonderful friend Cheryl for sending this to me yesterday. :)
You think Down syndrome means tragedy, and people will compare your experience to that of losing a child in a car accident or to cancer or some other horrible fate. And though you will experience a sense of loss, you will realize eventually that you have lost a hypothetical child, and that the child right in front of you, this child, with her sparkling eyes and crooked teeth and warm soft hand, this child is a blessing. In time, because of the privilege of knowing and loving her, you will realize that your grief has turned to gratitude and that your worry has turned to wonder.
You think Down syndrome means isolation, but you will discover that it brings a world of connections. It’s not only that you will now feel a bond with other parents of children with Down syndrome throughout the country and around the globe. It’s that having a child who looks and acts somewhat different from what you expected, a child who you see as beautiful and funny and kind and smart and brave, will help you to recognize that same beauty in everyone else. You will think your world has become smaller, when it has only begun to grow.
You think that Down syndrome means hardship, for you and your daughter. As with any child, you’re right. There will be sleepless nights. There will be doctor’s visits. There will be a time when you find her sitting up in bed with eyes sunken into her head from dehydration after a stomach flu, and you will rush her to the hospital and she will stay for two days. There will be meetings with her teachers who talk about behavior plans. You will worry about her health, her ability to make friends, her future. And yet you will also realize that every life arrives with hardship. And every life arrives with the potential for inexpressible joy.
You think Down syndrome means special treatment. And other people will, with very good intentions, treat her as if she can’t learn and can’t sit still and can’t communicate. But you will believe in her abilities, and you will discover that she can sit in time out just like her little brother. That she can communicate through sign language before she is able to talk with words. That she will work harder than any kid you’ve ever known as long as she is motivated, and that even though it takes longer for her, she will learn—to read, to swim, to tie her shoes, to ride a bike, to use gentle hands with her baby sister. You will learn not to treat her as special, but as her own person, with particular struggles and particular gifts.
You think Down syndrome means giving more than you have to give. And some days it will feel that way, as it will with each of your children. But then she will come over to you, with your head in your hands after a fight with your son, and she will say, “Mom, should we pray?” She will come home from school and embrace you and say, “I had a happy day Mom!” She will give back far more than she has ever taken.
She will break your heart. Wide open. And you will be forever forever grateful.
Princess Brinley!! xo