You're awesome....

This says it all. It's a great read for parents. <3

Beth Woolsey....

1. You are a hero for your kids. You are. You're a go-the-distance, fight-the-dragon, face-the-challenges hero for your kids. Taking a beating makes that more true. Not less.

2. We all struggle. Every parent. Everywhere. We all second-guess ourselves. And we all want to quit sometimes. Hold the good times close, and when things are tough, remember, "this, too, shall pass."

3. Finding the funny may not save your soul, but it will save your sanity. Or maybe it's the other way around. Either way, look for the humor and embrace the crazy. Laughter is a lifeline.

4. Every day, you will feel like you have mishandled something. Like you've been impatient. Like you've misjudged. Like you've been too harsh. Like you've been too lenient. You may be right. Apologize if you need to and then, whatever. Seriously. Just whatever. Let it go.

5. The crazy, the crying, the cuddles. The screaming, the sacred, the scared. The minutes, the magic, the mess. It's all part of it. And it's all worth it.

6. Family is the best. Even when it's not perfect. And it's never perfect. Ever.

7. At the end of organization, at the end of patience, at the end of perfection, we die to ourselves. And then love rises from the ashes. It sucks. And then it gets better. And then it sucks again. Still, love rises.

8. You will never regret parenting. Except for the teeny, tiny tons of times when you secretly wonder if you maybe regret it just a little. But, overall, never. And overall is what counts in the end.

9. Parenting is like climbing the big mountain. Look for the base camp. That's where you rest, meet other climbers, take in oxygen and acclimatize. Base camp is what makes summiting possible.

10. You are not alone in this strange, vast, parenting ocean. Even in the dark of night. You are not alone. You're not.

11. Kids know the way to magical and they'll give you a free pass to come along. Breathe in the magic as long as you can, because that same kid is going to poop his pants in just a minute.

12. There's a very fine line between enjoying the chaos and barely surviving. Actually, there's no line at all. It's all mixed up together. That "fine line" thing is a lie.

13. If you pay attention, kids will teach you how to laugh loudly, how to love deeply and how to live fully. They will also ruin all your stuff.

14. Any number of kids is a lot of kids.

15. Look for joy. You'll find it in the middle of the busy. Or under the ridiculous. Or hanging from the overwhelmed in its underpants. Joy's like that. It's in the middle of everything. It's completely unpredictable. And it will surprise you when you're not expecting it. Like vomit and diarrhea, except good.

16. You will fall apart and do it all wrong. Forgive yourself. Ask your kids to forgive you. Set an example of resilient fallibility. Set an example of practicing the art of love -- both loving yourself and loving others. No one does this parenting gig right the first time. Or the last time. Or the times in between. Showing your kids how to keep going after getting it wrong is a wonderful gift to give them.

17. Kids are difficult, gross, confusing and awesome. So are you.

18. Parenting will bring you face-to-face with yourself. It may be terrifying. It may break you. But it will also rebuild you, and you will be stronger than you ever thought possible.

19. Balance is a myth. Parenting isn't a tight-rope walk; it's a dance. Strive for rhythm instead of balance, and trust yourself to move to the ever-changing beat.

20. Yes, you will have days where you wonder where the hell the capable and organized you went. Yes, you will sit on the floor of the main aisle at Target by the check-out area with a child who is thrashing, screaming and calling you names. Yes, you will have to tell your child that the dog is not a napkin and to put down the urinal cake. If you do not do all those things literally, then you will do them figuratively. And yes, you will also hold that child and rock back and forth and tell him you love him and tell him he's safe and tell him you're not leaving even though he will someday leave you. This is parenting. It is tragic and triumphant. Messy and magical. Sacred and spectacular. And it is, always, fiercely worthwhile.

Side note....I have entered a contest and I still need at least 400 votes to be number 1! If you are on Facebook, you can vote for me. I am on page 1 - Krista R. The contest is for my favourite mommy moment! <3 I am very competitive! :)

https://www.facebook.com/CSTConsultants?sk=app_279457548855375&app_data

Heading our for lunch today with my lovely friend Robin. Looking forward to it. xo
Have a great Friday my friends!!

Invincible....

YES!!! AGAIN!!!

Well it's only 8:00am and I could already use an Orange Julius! That's sad. I wonder if I can make my own at home. Going to have to research.
I had another dream last night, I dream this one quite often. I am at work but at the school that I only spent 2 years teaching at, and I always check my teacher mailbox in the staffroom. It sounds silly but it happens in each dream. I think I miss teaching and seeing the kids but obviously at this point, I won't be heading back, maybe later on once the girls are in school. It's tough sometimes not working but on the other hand, it's lovely.

One of my high school girls contacted me yesterday and I was so excited to hear that she is doing well. She wanted me to be a reference for a position that she was applying for at a cleaning company. She is a good girl, bright and very capable. I worry so much about the girls and hope that they are making healthy choices. I've told them so many times that they are not invincible, but I know that at the age they are at, it's hard to believe that they can't get through anything, binge drinking, drugs and high risk behaviour.
I remember clear as day...I was teaching and a few past girls called the classroom because they heard that one of their former classmates had died. I knew that it wasn't true because this girl was awesome and finding her way in the world. She had just moved to Regina to live with her dad and to continue to get her life on track. Her and I had such a great bond. I just adored her and knew that she would succeed. I told the girls that I would contact her mom and grandparents and get back to them as soon as possible. I called the family and left messages on both phones asking for them to clear up the rumour.
Mom called me back within the hour and when I answered the phone, I could hear on the other end that it wasn't a rumour. There was no way! There was just no way!! Thank God the rest of my girls were in therapy when I took the call as I just broke down and to be honest, I didn't know what to do with myself. I paced the hallway and cried and questioned and bashed people and cried some more. I called my principal, she came down to sit with me and comfort myself and the behaviour support worker. We were just devastated.
I attended to funeral in Regina with my sister and it was tough, very tough. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had died.
I learned from her mom that she had gone over to a cousin's house, who had been recently released from jail and coming off of heroin. She had methadone in the house, in the form of orange juice. My student drank the orange juice, I truly believe that she didn't know what it was then she had some valium. One drug speeds up your heart rate and the other slows it down. She didn't feel well, so she went to bed early on in the evening. An older man who was over at the time, followed her to bed. I guess her heart stopped at around midnight but nobody called for help until 3:00am. How sad!
Her mom has tried to get a more thorough investigation into the case but has been told many times that her daughter lived a high risk lifestyle and it was more or less expected that something like this would eventually happen. They didn't know the girl I knew...kind and funny and considerate and one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She was just the best.
I think about her often. Her mom gave me some of her favourite possessions, which I still have and look at often. Her mom texts me once in a while to check in and give me an update on her life, which it sounds like she is healing and coping with the loss of her daughter. I couldn't imagine the roller coaster ride that she is on every single day.

Next thought, I am off to the OB next week as well as another ultrasound. I'm hoping that the wait at the OB's office isn't as long as last time, but grandma is going to stay here with Brinley so she can have her nap. Gotta love grandma!! I am looking forward to the ultrasound and hopefully we are able to get a good picture of Little Bean. We haven't had one since week 12 and she was just so small, maybe they can even do a 3D shot. I'll ask. I'm hoping that her growth is still on target and that her heartbeat is still strong and consistent. I think with Brinley, I took her health for granted when we went for ultrasounds. I just assumed that all was good and everything was on track. I never really worried too much about the high blood pressure and gestational diabetes. I just figured that all would work out just fine. With this little bean, I worry about all of it....I pray sometimes that all remains on track. I can't wait to hold her and love her and kiss her and tell her that she is perfect and beautiful.

I need to go hang with a baby who is a bit cranky today. We even called auntie to have a chat but Princess Brinley was so moody that we had to get off the phone. Crazy kid!!

I hope you have a wonderful Thursday....this is the longest week ever. :)

Straight Jacket......

Today, I babysat Ryder for the morning because Ange had a course that needed to be completed at work. The little kid showed up on my doorstep at 8:20 and talked until I dropped him off at school. At around lunchtime, I asked him what he wanted to eat. Nope, not hungry so I grabbed myself an egg salad sandwich from the fridge.
Ryder - "Auntie, I want that."
Auntie - "You won't like it."
Ryder - "I want it!"
Auntie - "You won't like it, it's an egg salad sandwich."
Ryder - "I want half."
Auntie - "You won't like it."
Ryder - "I want half."
Auntie - "Here, take a bite of mine and if you like it, I will give you half."
Ryder - "I want half."
Auntie - "TAKE A BITE!!!!!!!"
Ryder - "Ok."
So he takes a big bite, chew, chew, chew, gag, chew, gag, chew, gag, gag. I watched with a little smile on my face. Poor little guy didn't want to admit that it was icky!! I continued to watch him chew, then finally I asked him if he liked it. To my surprise, he said that he didn't like it at all. ;)
Auntie - "Go spit it out sweetie."
HA!! HA!! HA!!! It was too funny!!

I had to wake Brinley up from her nap in order to get Ry to school on time. Poor little girl cried when I woke her up...there was no pinching or yelling involved, just a gentle rub on the arm but I sure ticked her off. Had to get the kids in the car, carried Brinley down the stairs along with my purse, with Ry behind me. I got Brinley in the car and I can hear Ry yelling at me. "I told you to wait for me. Why did you go ahead? You were supposed to wait."
"Ry, I couldn't because your cousin weighs 30 pounds and I'm pregnant and tired and out of shape and hot and hungry and I need to get you to school on time."
"Auntie, I told you to wait for me."
SIGH!

Got to school on time, make him hug me and tell me that he loves me, cause I'm that kind of auntie. I went to the gym to find Danika to give her a hug and some love. I'm pretty sure she does more talking at lunch then eating because when I got there, some kids were already finished lunch and Danika hadn't even started yet. Silly girl!! A talker, just like her momma!! :)

Oh poop, I haven't fed Brinley yet and I'm craving an Orange Julius!!! If they only had lemonade flavour. Made a detour to Dairy Queen to get my treat, figured little Brinley would survive. Got home, fed the Princess a grilled cheese and cleaned up Ryder's tornado!!

Man, 2 kids is a whole lot of work! What the heck!!??? I may need one nanny per child, wait, that requires lots of money....hmmmm......maybe once I get into my own routine with Brinley and Little Bean, it'll all be good. I'm worried that I am going to end up in a mental institution, drooling, being fed apple sauce by my family while rocking back and forth, back and forth. I am worried about my posts after having this next princess, they may not make sense, they may involve tantrums, tears, frustration, booze. I think I need to go lay down.

Happy Wednesday!!

Sugar and Silly.....

Today, I went in for my gestational diabetes testing. I kept checking my blood sugar before I went, in hopes that I would 'pass' the test. When I woke up, I was at 5.9 and then 6.3 when I left for the appointment. Both were fine and well within the safe boundaries. I chugged down the orange syrup drink, which actually wasn't too bad, and sat around with Brinley for an hour. The lab out here was packed, which isn't a common sight, so I panicked when I got there because little Brinley would get bored and tired within a couple of hours. I decided to go straight to the back to see if I, Krista, would have to wait. Princess Krista doesn't wait in line ups!! Ok, totally kidding, but I did go back and check. SCORE!!! I didn't have to wait, I took the drink and waited an hour, then had my blood checked. I am crossing my fingers in hopes that it comes back ok. I would love to not have gestational diabetes, just one less thing to worry about. The only good thing about it is that you really watch everything that goes in your mouth. A lot of protein and no SLURPEES. Boo hoo!!!

The lab tech was super lovely and kind. I told her that this Little Bean has Down Syndrome. How she responded brought tears to my eyes. She told me that she thought it was just great and that we should be happy with our choice to continue on with this journey. She told me that her little girls are both in speech therapy and that there is something else going on with her youngest but they aren't too sure what yet, ADHD or perhaps Aspergers. She said to me that she remembers looking at the ultrasound screen and seeing this perfect little girl and she fell in love. She also said that you don't know what is to come. You don't know if your child is going to have learning difficulties or health concerns. You just love your kids. She also mentioned that she knows a little one with Down Syndrome and she is striving and doing great in school and has friends. I love these stories. I love the reassurance. I love the feeling that it will be ok. I still get scared and I still worry.

I said the most ridiculous thing at brunch the other day with all of our families. I blame it on pregnancy and hanging out with a 14 month old. My comment was "maybe this baby will come out looking like a Koenig." So this would mean that the baby would look like my brother-in-law, which would mean that we would have hooked up. Good lord Krista. Of course the families laughed and then I made it clear, I hope, that this baby and Brinley may look nothing alike, just like the Koenig children. That was my point. It totally came out wrong. I apologized to Ange, but of course she thought nothing of it. I must say ridiculous things all the time that the families didn't even flinch at my silliness. I need to go back to work and have some more adult conversations.

I don't have the link yet to the article but this is what is looks like. :)

Last thought....our story was in the HR Times today and he did a pretty good job. My quotes are accurate but a couple of the facts are inaccurate. My sister and brother live in HR, well that would mean that my sister is married to our brother, which I'm pretty sure isn't accurate and that my folks live down the street. No, they don't, but I wish they did, I think. :) The whole interview was put on tape, so to include information which was not said, is not very professional, but I am happy that there is a write up. Oh, one more thing, no picture of James, just Brinley and I. He did have a part in the making of this baby, so you would think that we would all be represented in the article.
I also am confused at why he would take stats from Boston and put use them in the article. That just doesn't apply to us. Statistics from Alberta would have been more beneficial and appropriate....maybe I should switch to journalism. :)

Happy Tuesday! <3

Bacon and Breyers.....

Yesterday was a perfect day. Our reservation was the last seating of the day so the buffet wasn't extremely full but we made sure to get what we wanted by saying a little bit louder, I wish there was more bacon. We are so discreet. I couldn't really taste anything because my taste buds are shot right now but I'm pretty sure it was delish AND I didn't have to cook. The other perfect part of the day was that we paid for nothing...how sweet is that. We didn't even pitch in, no tip, no nothing. Thanks to the family for picking up the bill.
The Mother's Day gifts were a hit and the mommas loved them. As I have said before, I don't like crafts but it just means so much more and the moms always love the thought and time that went into each one. After brunch, we headed back to the Koenig house to hang out. It was such a muggy day and so hot upstairs, so we headed to the basement and I was in heaven. I love their house, hot upstairs and beautifully cool in the basement. Brinley only had one nap yesterday so we thought we would have to head home for number 2, but she made it until after 7:00pm, no crying, no whining, just enjoyed her cuddles with Auntie and Grandma. I love that my family loves our baby girl so much. It is the best sight and the best feeling. She is just the sweetest little girl.

Baby Bean wasn't really moving last night and I had some cramping. I was trying to wake her up, but I guess she was tired too. I'm not a huge fan of the kicks and punches, but I like to know that she's ok. This morning, she is back at it, lots of kicks. Makes me exhale a bit. Poor little girl, momma shaking her belly and having daddy shout, we are such losers!!

Tomorrow I will head to the lab to get my gestational diabetes testing done. I'm pretty sure I will have it again, but this time, I don't think I will go to the diabetes clinic every week or every other week. It's not as easy this time with having a baby to tote along. The appointments were also useless. I know how to check my blood, I know how to record the numbers and more importantly, I know exactly what and what not to eat. When I was preggers with Brinley, I was on target, always. I took it all very seriously and so did my family. I remember telling my sister that after delivery, all I wanted was Breyer's Ice Cream and butterscotch sauce. The day after we came home, the Koenig's hooked me up!! It was delish and perfect!!

I was also on bed rest at my parent's house. Home Care doesn't come out to HR so James and I lived with Ma and Pa for 6 weeks. Momma cooked all of our meals and took great care of both of us. I know that some people would loathe the idea of living with your parents, but for us it was awesome. We had our own space, we all had a routine, we all headed to bed at 9:00pm every night, it was quite comical. The day we came home with Brinley, dad still didn't want us to go home, he wanted us to stay there just a bit longer. We managed one night but needed to get our own routine started. I remember crying all the way back home. Besides being incredibly hormonal, I already missed my mom and dad. We were so thankful that they allowed us and welcomed us into their home for all that time.

Time to go play with a baby! I  hope today is a wonderful and beautiful day for all of you. xo

Sleep Naked....

Today is Mother's Day, what a great day!! We completed our fancy art project and it turned out just perfect!! I am not going to post a picture cause the grandmothers haven't received their gifts yet. I will post tomorrow. Brinley bought me a beautiful card and she even made a little, sort of like picture in it. Exactly what momma wanted for Mother`s Day. :) I am still not feeling great but so looking forward to brunch with the family....what pregnant woman doesn't love a buffet! SOOOO EXCITED!!

A little something about my momma....she is awesome and wonderful and amazing. She is thoughtful and kind and loves her family dearly. Mom has always had our backs and has always supported our decisions in life. She now is the most amazing and wonderful and awesome grandmother. She loves her grandkids to pieces and they just adore her....you rock grandma!! Ange and I are so blessed to have a mom who we can call our best friend. Love you momma. xo

I wanted to mention one thing, I am thinking about all of my dear friends who have either lost their mom or have been trying for years to conceive without success or have lost a baby. I am sending you love and support today. I know that I do not take Brinley or this new Little Bean for granted. I cherish every moment I have with them....well, Little Bean has no choice cause she is still connected to momma! Poor girl. ;)

So, my phone rang at 1:30am this morning, you know it can't be good. I see that it's my sister. My initial reaction is that one of the kiddies are sick. Nope, Ange on the other end asking if we have Benadryl. She was covered in hives. She was in so much pain. I told her that we don't have any Benadryl because years ago when I took some, I felt like I was on crack and speed. I don't really know what it's like to be on crack and speed but I would say it was comparable. I told her to take a cold shower, take a Reactin and sleep naked! She woke up this morning feeling better. Poor sister, I tell ya, as we get older, our bodies get all messed up and all these new aches and pains appear. I think after brunch today, we will take her to the Cargill plant and have her turned into a sausage. I may be next in line!!

Just a short blog today. I hope everybody has a wonderful day. xo

A Mimosa...AWESOME!!!

 

According to Erin....

1. Every mother wants to wake up on her own accord. If you must wake her up, do so with a mimosa in hand or at the very least, a hot cup of coffee followed by a minimum 60 seconds of silence.

2. There will be absolutely no fighting or complaining in front of Mom. Maybe this means bribery. Maybe it means sending Mom off to the spa. Nobody wants to hear that crap on their holiday.

3. No cleaning products, safety equipment or fitness gear unless Mom herself has specifically requested it. 

4. “Well, she’s not my mother.” is null and void on Mother’s Day. Chances are she puts up with your nonsense, you love her for it and that’s close enough.

5. Please give the kids some role in choosing or making their own gifts for Mom. Hearing “I didn’t know we got Mom an Ipad!!!” is very awkward to say the least.

6. Moms should not have to cook on Mother’s Day (unless she wants to). Take her out or plan a special menu for Mom. There are plenty of pre-planned menus on the web so no excuses!

7. Moms not do dishes on Mother’s Day. Period.

8. Moms do not do Mother’s Day dishes the morning after.

9. Plan on being presentable the entire day. Put on a clean shirt, brush your teeth and comb your hair. Family photos are highly probable.

10. If you can’t be with your Mother this Mother’s Day, call her. Video chats would be better but seriously, a social media shout out is not going to cut it this year.

I think these are perfect rules for a wonderful Mother's Day!

I told James that all I want is a card, that is all I need. I honestly feel like my life is complete. I have James, Brinley and Little Bean, I have an amazing family and wonderful friends. I don't want an IPad or diamonds. I want a healthy and happy family. Actually there are a couple things that would be grand...I want the epidural to not fall out this time and I want labour to last no more then 2 hours and I want to go home within 24 hours. I think those are very reasonable requests. :)

Happy Mother's Day to all of my friends and their momma's. I hope it's filled with love and laughter and great memories.

Sick and Fat People....

I would like to say that today's post will be filled with wit and charm, but I am sick with a cold and had a crap sleep last night. It's days like this that I am glad I only have one child to take of and not two....yet.
I cancelled lunch and an evening date with a friend. I don't like cancelling but I would be lame company for anybody. It's only 8:00am and I am already looking forward to having daddy come home and take care of me, oh, and Brinley. :)
I'm done whining!

Ange and the kiddies stopped by last night for a quick visit. I love seeing my babies. You can be having the worst day ever but as soon as you see those 2 little faces, it makes everything perfect! When Danika was leaving, she said that it's so difficult to leave our house and to say goodbye. Good thing we only live down the street!! Such a sweetie!

It's my dad's birthday today, Mother's Day on Sunday and mom's birthday on Monday. Of course they don't want any gifts, mom always asks for a card and maybe some lotion. I know she doesn't need any of that since she just bought out Victoria Secret!! The Mother's Day craft has been sent to the Koenig house for Bob to do his job....I so can't wait for Brinley and Little Bean to be in school then the teacher can worry about crafts! I just don't know why I torture myself. :)

Random thought.....that jackpot/doorknob/loser from Abercrombie and Fitch is a huge dork! Their clothes aren't made for fat people! He is disgusting and a revolting human being. We wonder why young girls feel that they aren't good enough. When your biggest size fits the anorexic, what is this teaching our children? He should be ashamed of himself and I hope somebody slashes his tires and shaves his head and rips off his toenails and pours salt on the wounds. I will tell Brinley and Little Bean everyday that they are perfect and amazing girls. We will encourage healthy eating and exercise, but never will we criticize their weight or looks. So sad. I think our children have enough to worry about without having jerks like him tell them they are fat and not worthy to wear his line of clothing. Shame on you!!!!

Next thought....my friend's little girl is on the mend and doing well. She will be coming home this weekend from the hospital but will be restricted to very limited activity. She is such a trooper. Thank god for the wonderful medical staff at the South Calgary Hospital and the Children's Hospital. The outcome could have been very different.

A local man, who actually lives 15 minutes away from us has won 15.8 million dollars. He won the lotto!! This gives me hope, we will keep buying tickets...either we will win or go totally broke from buying tickets. James said that I should find my way into this guy's life and get to flirting! I'm not too sure if he likes pregnant chicks! I guess I could test it out. Lucky bum!!

I must go play with a baby now! I hope everybody has a wonderful and productive day. <3

Mom, I have a question!! :)

Light the Night Walk 2013

If you have been reading my posts, you would be aware that my brother in law battled and overcame cancer. This is my sister's personal page. Please click on the link.
Thank you for all of your love and support. <3


Light the Night Walk 2013

Live in the Present.....

Oh goodness, last night was long and I had such a bizarre dream. I woke up with a cold, or maybe it's allergies. All I know is that I needed more sleep and I don't want to be sick. Stuffy, sore throat and headache. Poo on not being able to take cold medication or allergy pills.
So my dream, it's quick. I dreamt I was in Charlotte's Web! What the heck!! I was actually sitting down with Wilbur and having a full on conversation. Of course in my dream, this was all normal and great, then when I woke up, I thought maybe I should be going to Cocktails and Dreams more often. What a ridiculous dream!! I didn't eat anything bizarre before bed but I didn't fall asleep until almost midnight. It might be a long day!

Last night, I received a call from one of my closest friends. Her daughter was kicked in the head by one of their horses. Dad turned his back for a moment while she was feeding the horse and next thing he knew, he heard a scream and she was trying to get herself out of the bushes. She didn't lose consciousness. He took her inside and mom said that she needed to get to the hospital right away. Now they live at least 45 minutes away from the nearest hospital so dad stepped on it and got her to the South Calgary Hospital. She threw up when she got there but was still conscious and doing fine. The medical team from the Children's Hospital came down south and took her directly to ICU. She was intubated and given a CT scan. Poor little princess has such a major skull fracture plus a fracture under her eye. She doesn't need surgery but they can either fix the dent under her eye or it can be left as is....
The fracture will heal but the indent under her eye will not go away unless they choose surgery. They really aren't too sure what route to take at this point in time. I guess she is in great spirits and doing well but the road to a full recovery will be long. No major activities for months, which I know will be very difficult for her as she is an active and energetic little girl. She also has some nerve damage in one of her hands, so she will require physiotherapy and some rehab. My dear friend is also in the last couple weeks of pregnancy, they are expecting number 4. She forgot to take care of herself, which only makes sense, so she required an IV to replenish fluids, really just to get some fluids in her system. Baby's heartbeat was extremely high, so they needed to get that down and her blood pressure back up.
I shared this story because life can change in an instant. Just an instant. We don't know what lies ahead, we don't know if there will be a tomorrow, we don't know if we will get through today. I think too many times we take life and all of its gifts for granted. We wake up and complain that it's so early, we get mad at the kids for being silly, we get excited thinking about the weekend but we don't live in the moment. We don't appreciate and take in the moment. We are always thinking about the future. It is so important to live in the present and be thankful that we were given another day with the ones we love. Tell those who you love, that you love and appreciate them. Have patience. Enjoy your day. Be thankful.

Sugar Crisps and Number 1.....

Yesterday we had our weekly OB appointment and it went great. The 1.5 hour wait to get in wasn't so awesome but I had grandma there to keep Brinley entertained. She was a perfect, little girl. No crying, no whining, just happy. It wasn't my usual doctor, which was just fine. She was thorough and made sure that she went through all of my records and took some notes for herself. I had gestational diabetes with Brinley as well as high blood pressure so we need to stay on top of all of that fun stuff. My BP was pretty good yesterday, so the meds are doing their job! Little Bean's heartbeat was also perfect. We didn't hear any palpitations or hiccups, just a beautiful, strong heartbeat. It's such a wonderful sound. That was grandma's first time. She told me after that she was worried about hearing a little hiccup and that it could have made her sad, but no need, it was perfect. I have my requisition forms for blood work and one for the awful gestational diabetes test. YAY!!!! I'll get that done soon.

I am now carrying a viable baby. We are officially 6 months and that's without rounding up! The other night while I was laying in bed, the thought crossed my mind that you can terminate a pregnancy up to 23 weeks 6 days. I don't know why I thought about it as we are on this journey and we are doing it! I couldn't imagine a mother and father having to make the decision to terminate at this point, whether by choice or because baby has a severe and terminal medical condition. How traumatizing and upsetting. I feel this little girl kicking and rolling and punching, not that I love the feeling, but I enjoy knowing that she is doing just fine.

I had a dream the other night, I just forgot what I was going to write. Crap...give me a second..............Oh yes, my water broke at 36 weeks, not too bad but kind of early. The contractions hit quick and hard. We didn't have time to go to Calgary so we had to go to the HR Hospital. I got there and we delivered quickly. I told the doctor first that Brinley had shot out like a rocket and gave me a third degree tear, so if he could ease this one out, that would be great. I love the control I have over my dreams sometimes. :)
I delivered and the doctor asked if we were sure that she had Down Syndrome??? Oh my goodness....we informed him that we paid almost 1000 dollars to have the NIPT done as well as an amnio just to make sure. Great, so now she doesn't have Down Syndrome???!???! Wait, that's great news! Wait, we are all prepared, I think, to have a baby with Down Syndrome. I don't want a baby without Down Syndrome! Of course I want a baby without Down Syndrome. Head was spinning. Tears were falling. So confused.
I woke up. When I dream about this little bean, I wake up exhausted. I try not to over-analyze my dreams but I can't help but try to figure out what it all means. I think it's my fears. I have so many fears. I think about how the world is going to accept this little girl. I think about how her cousins are going to be her protectors. I think about how her Auntie and Uncle won't tolerate any crap from anybody. I think about my loud and overbearing self. I think about how James will deal with everything. I think about his laid back personality and how he internalizes his emotions. It's different when this little one is on the inside because I feel that I am totally facing the unknown. I think way too much. I know that when this baby gets here, my fears will subside, hopefully, sort of, a bit. As parents, you just worry so much about your kids. You want them to love life, their family, school and others. It's just one more added worry when your child is born with a special genetic gift. You worry even more. I need to remember, one day at a time. It's such a rollercoaster of feelings and emotions. I usually have these thoughts after a dream or an appointment. Gets me thinking. I need to think like man. ;)

Last thought....I had a bowl of Sugar Crisps the other day. Had to go to the bathroom a little while later, just number 1 and get this, my urine smelled exactly like Sugar Crisps. Honestly, go buy a box!! It was big news in our house! I may need more fresh air. :)

Happy Wednesday to you my friends. <3

You're Only 6 Months.....You Look HUGE!!!

 

 

Yesterday my session at Cocktails and Dreams was cancelled so I settled for a virgin slurpee and a walk around the pond. It was hot out...too hot for me!

 

You need to read today's blog....it's awesome!

 

Amy Morrison is the Canadian asshat behind Pregnant Chicken. She started the website when she found out that she could have safely consumed caffeinated coffee during both her pregnancies and she was livid. She decided that the truth needed to be told about the myths surrounding pregnancy and the crap that goes along with it.

 

 

 Thanks to my good friend Wilson (Jody) for sharing this one with me!! :)

10. Tell her your birth story. Even if she starts to walk away, just follow her with every gory detail about your birth. The more painful and horrible, the better. And be sure to keep asking her if she’s scared. If she says “no” just ask her if she’s sure or tell her that she should be. Maybe she needs to hear about your episiotomy again.
 
9. Suggest a name. It’s doubtful that she and her partner have put a lot of thought into choosing a name so it’s important that you weigh in on this decision with a couple of names you thought of on the way into work. If you come up with a funny one be sure to greet her stomach with it, for example scream, “How’s it going in there, Ass-Clown-Charlie Brown?!” Be sure to lean on the surname when you say it.
 
8. Comment on her size. If she’s looking big be sure to ask if she’s sure there isn’t two in there or if she’s sure she’s due in two months and not at noon. If she looks small be sure to ask her where she’s hiding it or suggest maybe she just swallowed a grape. This one might also make her worry that something’s wrong so it’s a nice double whammy.
 
7. Jump in with “Just you wait until the baby comes” anytime she looks like she’s enjoying herself or if she’s a little too happy about the baby. Clearly she doesn’t realize how difficult it is to have a baby so it’s up to you to make sure she doesn’t get too excited. Babies are awful.
 
6. Tell her what she should and shouldn’t be doing. It really is amazing that she made it as far as she has considering how reckless she’s being with her diet and daily routine. Normally you wouldn’t care but seeing as there’s a baby involved, you better get in there and smack that coffee out of her hand; or better yet, just give her dirty looks and shake your head. That will teach her. You don’t want your tax dollars going towards that kid’s tail removal someday.
 
5. Ask her if her pregnancy was an accident. The less you know the woman the better because it will make her realize that you don’t approve of her reproductive schedule (of course you would never come out and say that because that would just be rude). An even subtler comment would be, “You know how that happens, right?” Everybody in the room will think it’s funny but she knows, and you know, that you’ve just pointed out that she’s had sex. If she becomes offended, just tell her it was a joke and to lighten up then roll your eyes and say “hormones”.
 
4. Ask her if she knows what she’s having. If she tells you the sex ask her if she’s disappointed that she isn’t having the opposite (on the off chance that she says “yes”, be sure to tell her child that their mother didn’t want them at an age appropriate time). If she says that they aren’t finding out the sex, act surprised and say “Don’t you want to know?!”. Say it in a way that implies that she isn’t interested in her baby.
 
3. Ask her if she conceived naturally especially if you don’t know the woman very well. Be sure to ask her in front of other strangers if possible. It’s a great question because if she used fertility treatments she has to reveal a very person, private part of her life and if she didn’t she also has to reveal a very person, private part of her life. If she says that it’s none of your business, you can just hold up your hands in defense and say, “Whoa, easy, I was just asking a question. Someone is touchy today.” She can’t win. It’s a delicious catch 22.
 
2. Toward the end of her pregnancy, be surprised every time you see her. Say things like “Are you STILL pregnant.” and “Haven’t you had that baby yet?” and extra helpful “I guess it just doesn’t want to come out” – which is nice because it points out the delivery she is *clearly* putting off and it’s a little gross too.
 
1. Touch her belly. The less you know her, the better. Just walk up to her and start molesting her stomach. Make an “MMmmmm” noise while you do it. If that doesn’t get her going, put your face right up to her belly button and talk into it like a microphone. Ask the baby how they’re doing and listen for an answer. If that still doesn’t upset her, comment how her baby doesn’t move much because it didn’t respond to your voice and how she may want to talk to her doctor about that.

Happy Tuesday!!! :))

Mother's Day SUCKS!!!!

Well I guess today is going to be 25. You can kick me in the shins for this comment but that is way too hot for me! I enjoy a mild 15 degrees, that's a perfect day for me!! :)

We had family dinner last night, it was nice seeing my dad. They got back a week ago from their 2 week Hawaiian cruise. Everybody is tanned except for me...I'm white and pasty! Blah!

My first random thought for the day is about Mother's Day. Since Brinley, I feel that I must get all crafty and make the grandmothers their gifts. I don't do arts and crafts so I don't know why I must put myself through the pain and agony of coming up with an idea and then actually follow through with that idea. Last year, I got mad, I yelled, I swore, I gave up, I swore again, then I finished the craft. This year, I tried the very simple task of painting a very simple object and I ruined 2 canvases. The letters won't stick to the canvas, so I swore, I yelled, I gave up, I swore.....I'm taking them over to Bob's so he can paint for me. He has talent, I have none. When I taught grade 1, those precious, little beings loved everything I made. They thought I was the greatest. In reality, I suck!

Next thought is regarding Facebook. As an adult, I use Facebook as a tool to connect with friends, share silly stories and pictures. I don't understand why people...

1) Have to announce to everybody as your status update that you are removing several friends from your list because you just don't talk to them anymore. Sometimes it is also mentioned that people should feel privileged if they made the cut. Are you kidding me?? Just remove those you don't talk to and grow up!

2) Please don't post pictures of tortured animals and children. Feel free to post an article or a link then we have the option of clicking on the link. Respect others and their feelings.

3) Don't bash your family or friends or an ex. Deal with it, pretend you are an adult.

4) Please stop posting random pictures of kids with Down Syndrome to my wall. I get that you care and that you are being considerate, but I don't post pictures (tag you) in pictures of kids without Down Syndrome to your wall. Feel free to send me a private message.

Today, I head back to Cocktails and Dreams and have an hour long margarita! I feel good, my head space is pretty good and I have actually felt human again these past few days. I think we may just gossip and have a few laughs today. I sort of followed through on my goals....I did go out on my own a couple of times without baby and husband, just me time. I'm wondering if any of you actually followed through on my free advice??? :)

I must go play with a baby now. I hope you have a beautiful and wonderfully sunny day.

Really...a Ouija Board???

So...yesterday, I took the day off. We had a really awesome time with the family. James, Brinley and I went out for lunch then grabbed a Starbucks. I was worried because the last time I had a coffee, I spent the day in bed because it made me so nauseous. Nope, this went down just like a margarita!!
We spent the whole afternoon at my sister's place with her, Bob and the kids. We learnt that Brinley does not like grass, the horrible feeling of hard, dead grass on her knees. I loved though that when I put her down, she crawled all the way over to the patio instead of crying. She went on the trampoline for the first time and loved it! It was so nice to spend the day out in the sun. Danika takes such good care of her cousin. It is the sweetest sight.  The only damage to auntie yesterday was the shovel that got smashed just above my eye by Ryder and the remote control that Brinley conked over my head at bedtime. I'd say overall, a smashingly wonderful day. Oh, and the heartburn from the taco dinner but the 39 Tums that I took eased the pain. I only had 2 of them for those of you who just gasped....I would have preferred 39! :)

So our little Brinley has taken a few steps but still prefers crawling. She gets pretty excited when we clap and cheer...we must look ridiculous but I get so excited. Hopefully she gets movin more on those feet soon. I know I've already told you about the first steps but I thought that maybe by writing about it again, it would send walking vibes her way!!

We also took Brinley for her first haircut on Friday. She was perfect. She sat in the chair and let the stylist cut her hair. I love that it was 6 bucks compared to mommy's 100 and some. :) Auntie Angela calls her a diva, but she already prefers Timmy's over Starbucks and Supercuts over the salon....I would say a great start.

I've had a few readers ask how James and I met....it's a funny story. We actually met at a baby shower. He was just about to leave and I didn't even know the guest of honour. I love crashing baby showers. :) I asked him where the party was, he said out back. That was the extent of our conversation. I had just been on a date and telling some of my friends how the date went...all said in a bitter tone. James heard it all!
"I am so tired of men. We met at Mount Royal Village at a coffee shop. He took the bus, showed up with a man purse, light jeans and sneakers and later informed that he asked his mommy for a ouija board for his upcoming birthday, oh and that he frequents the clubs on his own. Then at the end of the 'date' he tells me that he would like to be friends and that I wasn't really his type. I AM SO DONE WITH MEN!!!!"
James, I guess had just been on a date with a nut case and was done with women.
We were told by the guest of honour and by her sister that we were both single and should hook up. Ok, let's be Facebook friends, ok, let's talk on the phone, ok, let's have a date, ok, 7 months later, let's get engaged, ok, 8 months later, let's move in together, ok, a year later, let's get married. What the heck!!!! :)
It all worked out just perfect!! I am so glad that I am done with the dating scene but I have to admit that sometimes I miss hooking up with the girls, having a drink then heading to the bar at 10:00pm and dancing the night away. I lost so much weight! Those were the days. :)

Happy Sunday!! :))

Taxes and Love and Boobs....

Just a quickie today! :) Well, I thought it was going to be a quickie, then I started typing!

Paid our taxes, which let's be honest would have allowed us to go on a nice tropical vacation. I love how the government gives you EI then at the end tells you that you weren't really taxed all that much so we are going to have you pay thousands back!! What a kind and loving thing to do!! Taxes suck!

Lately in my dreams, I have been beating people up! What is going on?? I swear a lot and throw punches. You would think that I would wake up feeling relieved that I took some people down, but no, I'm not really enjoying it! Last night, I also dreamt that Brinley lost her cuteness and she wasn't walking yet nor could she really talk. I was trying to explain to others that she was only 13 months, but nobody believed me because she was so tall. I don't know if these are my fears again with this little bean. Now, I am not hung up on cuteness and let's be honest, little girls with DS are adorable. I think with being a teacher, I set my standards pretty high. I don't need brilliant children, but I do think that as parents, you need to give your child as many opportunities as you can for them to grow and develop. I want Brinley and Baby Collins to explore the world, or at least some of it, I want them to learn from others, I want them to appreciate different religions and cultures, I want them to respect others who have disabilities and to be understanding and loving kids. I also want them to respect themselves, their bodies and their minds. It is so important to James and to me that we do all that we can as parents to show these two precious girls how to love and be loved and pray that they become the best that they can be. I want the best for my kids. I look at Brinley all of the time and tell James that the love I feel for Brinley is indescribable. I have never loved another being the way I love our little girl. Being a parent, is by far the most difficult job but holy crap is it the most rewarding. I am so glad that I am a mom. 

So I made the nausea pops yesterday and saved the rest in the fridge. I went to have popsicle this morning and well, I can't get them out. The sticks come out but not the popsicle. I guess that's what happens when you buy 2 dollar molds.  So, I'm thinking that my only option is getting a spoon and start digging. I had some of the leftover smoothie this morning and it truly is delish. The problem, without sharing too much information, fruit and small amounts of it do something to my bowels. I have weak sauce bowels. I love fruit and could eat it all day but.......good lord.......

Last thought.....I was talking to a friend yesterday who recently had a baby and it brought back some memories. :) I guess her little one is having troubles latching and she is not producing enough milk. I reassured her that it is normal and OK. I didn't produce enough milk with Brinley. I was taking 13 pills a day, pumping and breastfeeding. I did this for 4 months, then decided that it wasn't happening anymore. I was not hung up on breastfeeding nor am I one of those moms who is all crazy that you HAVE to breastfeed and that is the ONLY way to go. You do what works and what is best for you and your family. I had some people tell me that they were sorry that I couldn't breastfeed. I was confused...do you think we aren't feeding her any food?? I give her my one ounce then watch her starve for a few hours? We fed her, it's call formula and she loved it. I loved it! James loved it! It gave me the freedom to go out and it allowed James to bond with his daughter. On a selfish note, I would have loved to breastfeed to help with weight loss but it didn't work, I was also kind of excited to get those porn star boobs, that didn't happen. It all worked out...sort of...my boobs are a bit droopier and I didn't lose all the baby weight but Brinley is happy and healthy and that's what matters. I'm pretty sure that when she starts school, the teacher won't ask us if our baby was breastfed or formula fed. I don't think they separate those kids. I'm pretty sure she will be just fine! :)

Happy Friday!!! :)


Nicole, today's blog is for you!! xo