16 November 2013
A Little Nookie!! :)
Well, the comments and responses from yesterday's blog were all positive. I for sure thought somebody would have torn a strip off of me. Let me be clear about a couple of things. Stay at home moms and dads work hard, it is one of the most difficult jobs. It requires a lot of patience, a lot of love and so much time and effort. I just feel that as a stay at home mommy, I am so fortunate and I feel blessed that I am able to be with my girls. There are many moms and dads out there who can't afford to stay home or perhaps they could stay home but choose to work instead. I see nothing wrong with that, at all. It's all a personal, family decision and I am not one to judge what your family decides.
I just know that working parents have it difficult. It is a lot of work getting up with the kids, going to work, getting the kids and repeating this day after day. It is exhausting. If you stay at home, don't whine. Don't tell me that it is so much harder being at home all day with the kids rather then working then spending time with the kids. There are days where you will feel that you belong in the loonie bin, there are days that you want to throw the towel in, there are days when you will feel that it is the hardest, most difficult job. There will be days. I get it. I have been there, but then they go to bed and I exhale and think that tomorrow is another day. Love the moments with your children. One friend mentioned to me that it's nice to feel validated and appreciated by others, especially family members. I agree whole heartedly. You should be thanked, daily. You should be put on that pedestal once in a while. You deserve days at the spa. You deserve date nights with friends. I don't disagree.
What I disagree with, is the woe is me attitude and the complaining. I came across one mommy blog and she listed the hours, the chores, the please feel sorry for me because I stay at home with my kids attitude. There needs to be a balance. Moms need to stop feeling that they need to compete with the Pinterest moms. Stop trying to be better. Stop registering your kids in every sport, every ballet and dance class. You are not impressing anybody. You are running yourself into the ground. You don't need to be Super Mom, you need to be the best mom that you can be. That means loving your children. That means supporting your children. That means, you finding a healthy balance in your life. That means taking care of your needs too. If you love your kids, they will be ok. If you support your kids, they will be ok. If you tell your kids that you are proud of them, they will be ok.
Onto my next thought....
Last night while James and I were laying in bed....
K - "How many times have we kissed today?"
J - "Not once."
K - "Are you turning into my friend and not my husband?"
J - "No, I want to be your best friend and your husband."
I get that when you have kids, things slow down. You get tired. You are tired. You love sleep. You forget about working on your marriage. You forget that you have a partner. You take for granted that he/she will stick around even though there is such a lack of romance.
I thought about it last night. I thought about how could a marriage possibly survive when all you focus on is your kids? How does a marriage survive when you get into bed and just crash? It is so easy for a marriage to fail. It is so easy to be consumed by routine. It is so easy to take another for granted.
I love my husband and I love my kids. We don't have balance right now when it comes to romance and kids. James works all day, comes home, we eat, we play (not with each other) and take care of two little girls, we put one to bed, the other comes with us, James showers, I get into bed, he does the first night feed, I go to sleep. REPEAT.
There is not enough effort.
I know that some of you would say, "well, you're tired. Your girls are so close in age. It is exhausting."
Yup, we are tired and we do work hard all day long, but that is no excuse. There is no excuse why we shouldn't be showing each other attention and love. Let's be honest, it doesn't take a ton of work. :)
It's laziness. It's routine.
It has nothing to do with a lack of love or support. I love my husband with all my heart. I love our marriage. I love our family. I love what we have accomplished in the past five years. It is a great life.
Should we make a 'romance' schedule? Is there such thing?? Should you actually plan for romance? Is that totally crazy?
Should we bring in the neighbour down the street?? TOTALLY KIDDING! :))
I think it's time to get back to the love. Focus on each other. Make more of an effort and respect each other more. I am a firm believer that there are many factors that make a successful marriage. Romance plays a big role.
James got up this morning and said "I am going to kiss you every 20 minutes today whether you like it or not."
He has been committed to his word.
Adele's Journey - If you haven't seen her video, enjoy. Feel free to share <3