Amanda.....

Ignore the soother ;)

It's Amanda's turn again....it will be a nice break for the blog readers. No poop, no humping and no sex. Just in case you have enjoyed my recent topics, I will be back. :)

I am still going to include pictures of the girls because I take too many and love to share.

The other thing, I need more blog followers. If you aren't following yet (down the right column), sign up!! It's about knowing who is reading the blog and me getting to know who is following along, on this incredible journey! :)

As the saying goes, appreciate the little things. Last week I was in bed most of Wednesday, with a very bad migraine headache, I could barely open my left eye or lift my head. The pain was the worst between 8a.m. and 4p.m. and to top it off Gage ( he is 4) was home all day as well. I was dreading it simply because Gage is a typical 4 year old boy, loud, crazy, daring and stubborn. I have had migraines before with just Gage and I and to say it was like living in the pits of hell for a day with a hot poker in my eyeball is an understatement. However Wednesday, was different, like the powers that be knew I needed some help. This is where the little things come in, Gage was quiet and kind and thoughtful, now I am not saying that I gave birth to the spawn of satan ( although some days I feel I have two demons umm I mean difficult children)  as of late Gage and Grae have been harder to handle and seem to just not care about what Ryan or I say or do. So to have Gage listen on a day where my head feels like it was in a vice and being tightened until my eyes popped like grapes, was to say the least, a miracle! Not only was Gage good but when his sister came home from school they both kept quiet and no fighting and kept being great when Ryan came home from work. I know I need to relish this moment and bring it up on the days of yelling and fighting and wondering will it be hard forever. Parenting is hard and whoever tells you it isn’t is a liar, or on drugs and if that’s the case better share.
So glad I wrote the above the day it happened because almost a week later and feeling insane with the kids and I am contemplating a one way ticket for myself to Europe and return when the kids are married. However I am going to still appreciate the little things. My kids are driving me insane but they are healthy and happy and we have a roof over our heads. Ryan just got a job with Fortis Alberta in High River, a job he has wanted since the day he started the power line journey 2.5 years ago. I am hoping we get our new main floors this week and as soon as they are done, time to decorate for Christmas. Even though I appreciate the little things and try every day to see at least one positive in the midst of eye twitches as Gage and Grae try to out do one another who can yell 'STOP IT' the loudest, I admit I have days I would rather just pull up the covers, turn off the lights and be Debbie Downer and say Bah Hum Bug. Life is life and there are ups and downs and twists and turns and I guess what I am really trying to say is let it all happen. The good the bad the ugly and all the gooey stuff in between, because all of it is your story, it is up to you how you outline, write and edit it. Some of the best chapters are yet to be written.

Fell asleep holding a stuffy :)

Don't Let Your Children Read This Post!

Sometimes it's a great day!!!! :)

Just a super short post tonight. It has nothing to do with Down syndrome. It has nothing to do with our perfect peanut. It is a lesson. A lesson that your children watch and listen to every word. They follow every action. They repeat what they hear and what they see.  James and I learnt this tonight....we will attend confession tomorrow and ask to be forgiven...well, James should ask for forgiveness.
I'm pretty sure that I will lose some devoted blog readers after this horrible parenting incident. Forgive us. Well, forgive James!

I was in the kitchen, doing my womanly duties.....heating up the shepard's pie that my mom dropped off for us!
James came into the kitchen and started to dry hump my butt. I tried to push him away and said that his daughter was right behind him, watching. What happened next will be forever engrained in my mind. James backed off, his daughter came up and started to dry hump my leg.

I'm sorry Brinley. Daddy has coverage for therapy and mommy will buy you a pony.

Happy birthday peanut! You also have therapy coverage!

Poop....again! Sorry!! :)

I've been a slacker lately....maybe it was the 31 for 21 Challenge that did me in.
Life has been busy with lots of play dates and appointments for Adele. Man, she is high maintenance, but we still love her lots. :) I met with the FSCD worker to discuss what kind of funding and extra assistance would be needed for Adele. I told her upfront that I haven't heard one good thing about FSCD, only negatives, from doctors, nurses, friends who work in similar programs and friends who have children with disabilities...I prefer to call them abilities. :) I told her that this little girl is our world and that we expect supports that are necessary for her to thrive. I needed to be honest and I needed for her to know that James and I expect only the best. She was positive and seemed receptive to my comments.

We also went to the Child Developmental Centre and that was a waste of time. It takes an hour to get there and more when we have a snowstorm the night before. We got there and I checked in, the receptionist told me that my appointment had been cancelled because the worker went home sick. She asked if anybody had called me. Ummmmm.....no.
I told her that I drove all the way from High River and somebody better meet with me, even the cleaning lady, I don't care.
The OT met with us but the first thing she said was that we could have done this over the phone. Sigh.
She was happy with Adele's progress and was pleased with how she was doing in regards to her development and milestones being met.
Let's be honest, I only want to go to the CDC when absolutely necessary. My time is valuable.....sort of. :)

On the other hand, while Adele and I were waiting for our sort of appointment, this lovely lady was waiting as well for her meeting. She loved Adele and asked questions about her health. Again, it was one of those moments that made me smile. She has adopted many children over the years, all with disabilities as well has fostered many children. She was such a beautiful person. I thanked her for what she has done for others. What a model citizen. There are so many good people in the world. With all the crap in the media, I wonder sometimes what is happening to our world.
The other thing that has made me smile lately is BatKid! Way to go San Francisco on coming together to make a boy's dreams come true. Those stories make me smile.

Had to wear my housecoat!

We had Music Therapy with Jimmy on Friday. He is so wonderful with the girls. He cares about them, calls them by name and sets boundaries and rules with Brinley. He knows his stuff and I like it....good man!
Brinley felt more comfortable this time and went right in and pounded on the piano. Jimmy is trying to get Brinley engaged more and to spend more time on each instrument. She is getting there!! Jimmy decided that we would have our own mini music session. We used the drums and did an activity that he does with brain injured clients. He said that I was doing a pretty good job. PHEW!!! I have to tell you, I held my breath the entire time and got myself a little stressed out. I need to relax during my music therapy classes. ;)

All in all, a busy week but always wonderful and always wickedly awesome if Adele stays healthy!

A friend gave me an idea to write a letter to Brinley and to talk about how she is now as a little girl.

Dear Brinley,

I want to start this letter by telling you just how much I love you. You brighten up mommy's day. You make me smile and you test every ounce of my patience. I recently said in a post that being a stay at home mommy isn't the hardest job in the world but I would like to go back and perhaps edit that comment a bit....it is freaking hard some days and I do feel like it is the hardest job in the world!

You are becoming a beautiful, little lady. You are 20 months old and a little spit fire. You are calm and relaxed and cuddly, then you turn around and whip attitude out like no other. You get moody and you sometimes slap me in the belly, the arm, the face, the leg, the butt, the head and any other body part that you can reach during your time of spaz out. I don't believe in hitting back because what does that do? Nothing. It teaches you that when you hit mom it's not ok, but when mom hits you, it's allowed. Mommy will tell you that if you ever bite me, I will bite you back and you will learn your lesson. I don't care about the previous comment about being a good role model and not being a hypocrite, but I don't do biting. I will bite you! If you get sad and upset and want another mommy, I will provide you with the Kid's Help Phone number and you can call and cry to them about how mean your mommy is and that she bites you. I will even provide you with a box of Kleenex.
Mommy was thinking about potty training you now but I realized that you aren't quite at that point. You are showing interest but we will wait a few more months. I have to tell you that the older you get, the bigger the poops and the bigger then mess and the more mommy gags. Your daddy thinks it's funny when we eat corn the night before and then you poop it out the next day. He laughs. You will soon learn that boys are special. They are silly and they don't ever really grow up. Whether you find a male partner or a female partner, just make sure that they won't mind wiping your ass when you're old. Get that information in the first few weeks.

Just a little pooping story for you....
Mommy woke up one night and felt ill, really ill. This was long before you. I asked daddy to go into the other room because I just needed my space. I needed to be ill on my own. He left. Five minutes later, mommy realized that she had the flu or maybe she had had eaten a case of prunes that day and forgot!
Mommy shit the bed, shit on the floor, shit on the bathroom mat and shit on the toilet before it actually hit the right place.
Mommy went to get daddy because mommy just felt so awful and needed daddy's help. Mommy walked in the spare bedroom and woke daddy. Mommy was crying and told daddy that she shit all over the place. Daddy got up, grabbed the Lysol, rubber gloves and cleaned up all of mommy's shit. I knew at that very moment that Daddy and mommy would last forever.
I think mommy got off track and is thinking that perhaps you will not be given this letter. Mommy needs to get her lack of ability to focus for longer than three minutes checked out by the doctor.

Love,
Mommy
xo

Sometimes this is how we roll!

Boots, diaper, soother, belly sticking out and no shirt!

 

 

Adele's Video. If you haven't had to chance to watch it. Feel free to share! :)

Twitter and Selfies! :)

 Well, I have joined the world of Twitter. I always told my sister that I wasn't interested but I decided to do it to stalk famous people and get the word out on Down syndrome. It's a win win situation. I am still learning the ropes, but in time, I will get the whole hashtag thing. If you want to follow me, I'm @ColliKrista. I would love to connect with some of the blog readers. I've always wondered, who is actually following along on this journey? I want to get to know you. :) Join my #happyworld!! :))

Next topic....
I am not posting this to hurt anybody's feelings or upset friends and family. :) I don't understand selfies. Do people actually wake up in the morning half an hour early just to get all pretty and take a selfie? Do you get into the car, look in the mirror and think "Wow! I look hot! I will take a selfie and post it on Facebook, Pinterest and Tweet it out to all of my followers?" When you take a selfie and we all see the phone in your hand, which usually partially blocks your face...is this cool? Is this really the new, hip thing to do??
Pregnancy selfies....I see doing them for you and your family, but again, I don't understand, holding this big phone, hand under belly, like the baby will fall out, take the picture and post. Isn't there anybody in the house who can take the picture for you instead of you standing facing the mirror? My friend Amy at Modern Nest Photography would stand beside a chalkboard that was on the wall in the house, write the week and her cravings....she didn't take the picture. :) It was such a cool and classy idea.
There must be a way to hide the phone. I like selfies with another selfie in the picture. A child, friend, pet....
Some of you probably think I am worrying and concerning myself with something that is lame and really it's a personal choice to post selfies. I should be writing about Down syndrome, world hunger, hot men, what's for dinner etc. etc. etc.
I just had to touch on it because I don't think I really like it but I love my friends and will continue to like some of the selfies, maybe even throw out a comment or two.
In conclusion, be selective of your selfies. Include another person, so I guess it would be called a groupies?? Or selfies times two....or something. Find a friend to take your picture, include that friend. Oh...I don't know.

I will end this blog with some pictures I took last night. I know they all look the same, but I love them all. It made my whole night....that and joining Twitter. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Not Adele :)

 

**You may have noticed the Top Mommy Blog badge on my page. Feel free to click on it. One click counts as one vote. After you have clicked on the badge, you can check out other blogs too. You can vote once every 24 hours. Just a click! :)

If you want to rank my blog or leave a comment.....I am in the Special Needs section....I am number 22 (BOO), I need to get to number 1! I am not doing this for my ego, I am doing this because this journey is important to me, it is important to share and to hopefully educate, entertain and show others that it can be done. I've said for a while now that these two girls, with the help of family and friends, will change the world! :)

 

A Little Nookie!! :)

Well, the comments and responses from yesterday's blog were all positive. I for sure thought somebody would have torn a strip off of me. Let me be clear about a couple of things. Stay at home moms and dads work hard, it is one of the most difficult jobs. It requires a lot of patience, a lot of love and so much time and effort. I just feel that as a stay at home mommy, I am so fortunate and I feel blessed that I am able to be with my girls. There are many moms and dads out there who can't afford to stay home or perhaps they could stay home but choose to work instead. I see nothing wrong with that, at all. It's all a personal, family decision and I am not one to judge what your family decides.

I just know that working parents have it difficult. It is a lot of work getting up with the kids, going to work, getting the kids and repeating this day after day. It is exhausting. If you stay at home, don't whine. Don't tell me that it is so much harder being at home all day with the kids rather then working then spending time with the kids. There are days where you will feel that you belong in the loonie bin, there are days that you want to throw the towel in, there are days when you will feel that it is the hardest, most difficult job. There will be days. I get it. I have been there, but then they go to bed and I exhale and think that tomorrow is another day. Love the moments with your children. One friend mentioned to me that it's nice to feel validated and appreciated by others, especially family members. I agree whole heartedly. You should be thanked, daily. You should be put on that pedestal once in a while. You deserve days at the spa. You deserve date nights with friends. I don't disagree.  

What I disagree with, is the woe is me attitude and the complaining. I came across one mommy blog and she listed the hours, the chores, the please feel sorry for me because I stay at home with my kids attitude. There needs to be a balance. Moms need to stop feeling that they need to compete with the Pinterest moms. Stop trying to be better. Stop registering your kids in every sport, every ballet and dance class. You are not impressing anybody. You are running yourself into the ground. You don't need to be Super Mom, you need to be the best mom that you can be. That means loving your children. That means supporting your children. That means, you finding a healthy balance in your life. That means taking care of your needs too.  If you love your kids, they will be ok. If you support your kids, they will be ok. If you tell your kids that you are proud of them, they will be ok. 

Onto my next thought....

Last night while James and I were laying in bed....
K - "How many times have we kissed today?"
J - "Not once."
K - "Are you turning into my friend and not my husband?"
J - "No, I want to be your best friend and your husband."

I get that when you have kids, things slow down. You get tired. You are tired. You love sleep. You forget about working on your marriage. You forget that you have a partner. You take for granted that he/she will stick around even though there is such a lack of romance.
I thought about it last night. I thought about how could a marriage possibly survive when all you focus on is your kids? How does a marriage survive when you get into bed and just crash? It is so easy for a marriage to fail. It is so easy to be consumed by routine. It is so easy to take another for granted.
I love my husband and I love my kids. We don't have balance right now when it comes to romance and kids. James works all day, comes home, we eat, we play (not with each other) and take care of two little girls, we put one to bed, the other comes with us, James showers, I get into bed, he does the first night feed, I go to sleep. REPEAT.
There is not enough effort.
I know that some of you would say, "well, you're tired. Your girls are so close in age. It is exhausting."
Yup, we are tired and we do work hard all day long, but that is no excuse. There is no excuse why we shouldn't be showing each other attention and love. Let's be honest, it doesn't take a ton of work. :)
It's laziness. It's routine.
It has nothing to do with a lack of love or support. I love my husband with all my heart. I love our marriage. I love our family. I love what we have accomplished in the past five years. It is a great life.
Should we make a 'romance' schedule? Is there such thing?? Should you actually plan for romance? Is that totally crazy?
Should we bring in the neighbour down the street?? TOTALLY KIDDING! :))

I think it's time to get back to the love. Focus on each other. Make more of an effort and respect each other more. I am a firm believer that there are many factors that make a successful marriage. Romance plays a big role.

James got up this morning and said "I am going to kiss you every 20 minutes today whether you like it or not."
He has been committed to his word.


Adele's Journey - If you haven't seen her video, enjoy. Feel free to share <3

    

Stay At Home Moms!

Touchy subject today......

Lately, I have seen many blog posts and articles on the web regarding stay at home moms.

The people who completely immerse themselves in the tiring, thankless, profoundly important job of raising children ought to be put on a pedestal. We ought to revere them and admire them like we admire rocket scientists and war heroes. These women are doing something beautiful and complicated and challenging and terrifying and painful and joyous and essential. Whatever they are doing, they ARE doing something, and our civilization DEPENDS on them doing it well. Who else can say such a thing? What other job carries with it such consequences? - Matt Walsh

Matt Walsh caused an uproar with his blog posts. Some agreed and some were disgusted by his post. I agreed with some of it, but have thought a lot about it since he posted the blog.

A stay at home mom has a huge list of jobs that she preforms all throughout the day and night.
1) Diapers
2) Feedings
3) Counsellor
4) Entertainer
5) Doctor
6) Psychologist
7) More feedings
8) Care giver
9) Taxi Driver
10) And on and on and on.....

The list is endless, I get it. If you are fortunate enough to stay at home, you are lucky. If you are able to spend the entire day with your kids, you are lucky. If you are able to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for your kids, you are lucky. If you are able to bathe your kids and read them stories at night, you are lucky. If you are able to get snuggles any time of day with your kids, you are lucky. If you get to witness the milestones, you are lucky.
I get confused why SOME stay at home moms feel that they deserve a medal, they deserve to be placed on a pedestal ALL OF THE TIME, they feel that are doing something so beyond what is expected of a human being, that they are just so tired and are never able to nap while the kids nap or while they are at school because there is just so much to get done.....I don't understand. Yes, we are tired, Yes, we lose patience. Yes, we work hard. I am confused why it is considered the toughest most underpaid job in the world. Yes, underpaid....well, actually, no pay but this is what we chose. We chose to stay at home with the kids. We chose to change diapers all day. We chose to make three meals a day plus snacks for our kids. We have so many roles but we knew what we were getting into. We knew that it would be a 24 hour a day job. We knew that we wouldn't get 12 hours of sleep at night. We knew that when we feel like shit, we still have to run the house. We made this decision when we discussed with our partner that it was time to start a family. We chose this path.
My job as a stay at home mom isn't always difficult. I have down time. I get to sit on the couch. I plan my showers accordingly. Is it always easy? No. Do I whine sometimes? Sure do. Do I wish I could get a few more hours of sleep at night? For sure. I chose this life.

I get to take my kids to play places. I get to take them over to friend's houses for play dates. I get to be a mom.

Whining and complaining that you have the most difficult job in the world, confuses me. I can think of so many other jobs that are more difficult. I think about those parents who work all day then have to come home and take care of the children. That is tough. I don't know how a working mom or dad manage to do both without ending up in the psych ward at the local hospital. I also know that in the States, maternity leave is nowhere near the 52 weeks that we get here in Canada. My mom went back to work after 3 months....now, feel free to complain about being tired and overworked. A night job and a day job.
Of course I have a lot of teacher friends who have children. They have it way more difficult then a full time stay at home mom.
Get up before 6:00am. Get ready. Get kids up. Get kids fed and watered. Get the house semi organized. Get all of kid's belongings that are necessary to spend the day at the day home or day care. Get kids into car. Drop kids off. Deal with tears. Get to work. Plan your day. Deal with 35 students all day. Stay at work until 4:00pm. Go pick kids up. Go home and unload kid's belongings from car and get settled. Get dinner ready. Spend time with kids. Do laundry. Snack. Bathe kids. Story and snuggle time. Put kids to bed. Finish marking. Finish chores around the house. Get ready for bed at 11:00pm. Wake up and repeat.
Is that a difficult day? You bet. Do I have it much easier? Absolutely.

Some stay at home moms feel that they need to be validated and validated and validated.
What do you do? SIGH SIGH YAWN SIGH YAWN.
I am a stay at home mom. SIGH.
I work so hard. I am on the go constantly. I feel so overworked. I need to go to Hawaii. I need to book a massage. You need to suck it up and do your job. Again, you chose this path.

Now, if you have a child or children who require a lot of extra assistance due to medical concerns or cognitive delays, you have a tough job. You have a lot of stress. You have a tremendous amount of work. Do I think you have a right to complain, drink, cry? You sure do. You are dealing with added stress. You are dealing with appointments, home care, worrying about your child's health while focusing on your other children.
Do I place myself in this group? I do when times get a bit rough. I do when Adele has to spend time in the hospital and we need to find care for Brinley. I have friends whose children are in the hospital, I have friends who require 24 hour care for their child. That is a difficult job. You should be placed on a pedestal. ALL OF THE TIME.
Now some of you are probably saying that this was the path they chose, to have children. You don't know if your child will have complications, so you should be prepared. You are the mom, so you should be doing the extra work if it is required.
I would argue this one....none of us anticipate the work that needs to go into raising a child with special needs.

Do I think my husband works harder than me? Sometimes. He works all day out in the field. He is providing for his family. He comes home and he takes over child care.
Now, on the flip side....when I have a real crap day, I start to feel sorry for myself and tell him that it's difficult staying home with the kids and I work so hard. I let him take over all the duties. He works hard too. He works really hard. Maybe he should be the one complaining that he has it so difficult as the working parent. He doesn't get down time.

It's a touchy subject. Whether you have one or 5 children, it is difficult. Being a parent is a lot of work. Trying to be the best mom and dad that you can be, it is difficult. Working all day out of the house, it is difficult.
The whiny stay at home moms need to stop complaining. Stop asking for the medal. Stop acting like the victim. Stop writing blog posts that tell the world just how hard you have it and that you are tired of being asked "What do you do all day?"
Stop complaining to other moms at the park, while sitting on the bench, that you are exhausted. Stop whining that your children have so many extra curricular activities and that you are so tired of sitting on the bench, sipping your Starbucks, Tweeting and finding the next hot topic on Pinterest. You chose this path.

Don't even get me started on single parents. You are my heroes!!

I thank my husband all of the time for allowing me to stay at home with our children. :)

A Little Freelance....

My friend Amanda is going to take over the blog once a week. She is a freelance writer who has agreed to let us into her life. Enjoy! :) She has started off pretty tame, but I know the REAL Amanda will break lose....get ready!


Not sure what I should exactly write for my first post on my friend Krista’s amazing blog. I guess I will start off by thanking Krista for allowing me another outlet to write, as a freelance writer any forum to showcase what we do is greatly appreciated. I love reading Krista’s blog and reading about her sweet miracle Adele and the rest of her family. 
I am also married and have two children, our daughter Grae is seven and she is grade two and our son Gage is 4 and is in pre-school. Two years ago my husband Ryan and I moved back to High River and bought our first house in our favorite area of town right by Sptizee School, the same school we both went to as children till grade six. Our children now go there and the school is now pre-school- grade 5.
Life seemed to finally be coming together and Ryan and I started to feel like the worst was behind us. 
I need to back track a little, Ryan and I have been together since 1996 I was 16 and he was 17, we got married in 2001 and moved from our home town of High River to Calgary. In 2005 I became pregnant with our first child, we were so over the moon and could not wait to be parents, sadly we lost that child when I was only four months pregnant.
Our prayers came true when Grae Lavaughn was born Sept 8, 2006. Another tragedy hit us on April 23, 2009 when my beloved mother  Lynn, at the age of 55 passed away suddenly from unknown heart disease, six weeks after losing my mother I gave birth to Gage Ryan Lynn on June 7. 
Moving home to High River just felt natural and made me feel closer to my mother as every street, every store had a memory of her at first that was overwhelming but in time became very comforting. I had even gotten a job at the local paper as a multi-media journalist, I loved it very much and loved being involved with the town I love so much, I made the hard choice to leave the job I loved to have more time with my family and pursue freelance writing, I was able to still stay involved by joining boards in town and volunteering.
Life once again was going great, little did I know I was about to be tipped on my head once again.

June 20th, our entire town was changed forever by a devastating flood that no one expected to do the damage it did. Sadly so many are still without their homes and lost all they had. In the big picture we got away very lucky, we lived in a fifth wheel on a farm for a month and we lost one car, our developed basement and all contents in it plus partially main floors. If that was not enough a few weeks after moving back home a hail storm came and we needed all new siding and a new roof. All that and I feel blessed, no I am not insane ( well actually that is debatable :) ) I know we lost a lot, but we have so much still and we have our house and our family and although June 20th was one of the scariest days of my life and left Ryan and I actually fleeing for our lives on foot well we saw our beloved town literally get swallowed up by the wrath of mother nature. 
There is a long road ahead for the town of High River, but my family along with so many others are not going anywhere and I will continue to be involved as much as  I can by volunteering on boards and being active in town. Another thing that I will keep doing is write, I love to write, it's in my bones, and I will write about anything and everything in my life so this is a warning to everyone that knows me, going forward, no one is safe, you never know what will end up in my posts :), Krista you still sure this is a good idea? Haha.

I still need to include pictures of the girls :)

AHHHHHH!!!!

GOOD LORD!

Today was that kind of day where I wanted to curl up in a ball, in the corner of the room, with a bottle of rum. Maybe two bottles of rum....don't even need coke and ice, just rum.

Adele is going through a time in her life that maybe some of you enjoy, but I just don't have time to cuddle for hours at a time. I love cuddles, just not all day long. Do I sound like a crappy mom? Adele is no longer a newborn, she is now awake a lot more and when she is awake, she wants to be loved. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if we didn't have a 20 month old who needs us, a lot, all day long, until bed time. As Adele gets older, her cries become louder and she is more persistent. I managed to have a shower and tried to block out the random shrieks coming from the bed. Almost like a quacking duck, or scared puppy or crazy cat, a dozen crazy cats. When I say "come on Adele", it doesn't seem to mean anything to her at this point. It means a lot to me and when I say it twenty times in a row, I see myself getting frustrated and well, Adele is frustrated too. I think we went in circles today. I talked, she didn't listen, I talked some more and she continued to not listen.

We had our appointment at the pediatrician's today, they just moved locations. I no longer take both kids to the car at the same time. I do it in two trips. Brinley goes first with my purse and the diaper bag. Adele goes next with the oxygen tank and anything else that needs to come along....and I lock the door.

We arrived at our destination a few minutes early. So far so good. On time.
I see the sign to the office and it says that there is parking around back. Ok, perfect. Drive down the street, around to the back and see that there is absolutely no parking. I'm confused. I drive back around front and look down at my feet as I exit the car. Forgot to put my boots on after I put Brinley in the car. I am in flip flops. Go around the car, feet in the snow bank and take a deep breath. Grab Adele and the oxygen. Oh damn, my purse. Move through the snow bank to the next snow bank and grab my purse. I will leave the diaper bag because nobody will poop!
Head around to the main drag, in the slush, in my flip flops. Deep breath. I unhook Brinley and realize that placing Adele on the street, on the main drag, full of traffic, is not a good idea. I grab Brinley and awkwardly head toward the sidewalk, through the snow bank. Breathe. Do I place my toddler on the sidewalk and risk her running onto the road or continue to have her dislocate my shoulder and rip all the tendons in my hand and arm and continue to the door?? I risk her running into traffic. I put her down. Even before her feet hit the ground, "Brinley, follow mom. Follow mom. Follow me." She listened. Phew!
We get to the door, walk in and it says to remove all footwear. F#$k that S#$t! I am not walking on the floor with no socks. My feet are wet. I don't need to take them off. I make my own rules.
I remove my flip flops and Brinley's shoes. I follow rules especially those posted on a door!
I check in and sit down. Brinley had fun turning the office lights on and off. On and off. On and off. On and off. ON AND OFF!!! ON AND OFFFFFFF!!!!!!!
Receptionist "you seem like you have your hands full." A little giggle.
So because I am super mom, I say "she is a really good girl and listens quite well." I needed to justify her turning the lights off. I needed to make sure that she knew that we don't let her run the house, make all the rules and we for sure don't let her play with the light switches. We have it all under control.

It's our turn.

"Just follow me upstairs."
What the f$#k!??!! Are you kidding me???

"Do you need some help getting upstairs?"
"No thanks, I'll be ok."

I am super mom and I don't need any help getting up your extremely steep stairs in this super really old house that has been converted to a doctor's office. Do I look flustered? I'm not. I'm fine. I don't need help.

"Brinley, go upstairs sweetie. Mommy will be behind you."
Each freakin step took 20-30 seconds because she was unsure of where we were...she was scared and I was getting pissed off because I was lugging over 30 pounds.

We get to the top of the stairs and my hair is stuck to my forehead, there are beads of sweat on my upper lip and my tube dress has come down to the point where you can see the top of my bra. Not a bra that I want the world to see, or the pediatrician. It's not frilly, it's not a push up, it's not black lace. It is beige. Just beige.

Ok, get the girls into the room. Brinley is so unsure. She stays close to momma. I tell her to play with the toys. Adele starts to cry. What the hell? Why are you crying? You were just fast asleep. I am meeting with your pediatrician. So Brinley sees her sister crying, this means that she must also cry, with her sister. It is now a competition. A fierce competition between two girls. Who will win? Who will embarrass mom the most? Who will piss mom off the most? It was a tie. A freakin tie.
The pediatrician was asking me questions and I was pretending that I was calm and had it all figured out and can handle all of this crying. I am super mom.
I ask her repeatedly to repeat the question because I wasn't focusing, in my head, I was praying that the crying would stop. I was praying that she would look at me and tell me that I was awesome and that I remind her of a Pinterest mom. I remind her of a mom that has it all together, all of the time. I wanted her to tell me that I must get up at 6:00am every morning and shower and put beautiful curls in my hair and have the coffee brewing and fresh cinnamon buns baking in the oven and dinner in the crockpot and the house vacuumed and all the crappers cleaned by the time the girls wake up. I just wanted to be told how great I am....at everything.

She didn't but I'm sure she was thinking it. We had limited time for our appointment.
I had to get Adele naked so we could check her weight.
"Do you want to change her diaper?"
F#$k!!!
"The diaper bag is in the car." This was said in a whisper because I am not a Pinterest mom, a Starbucks mom, a Martha Stewart mom....I failed. The diaper bag is in the fu#$%$g car because I couldn't lift one more thing...not ONE. MORE. THING.

I apologized profusely for the craziness and vowed to only bring one child next time.

I walked out of the room not remembering one thing. What was her weight? Why are we putting Adele on medication? What should be her daily volume intake? When am I coming back? Oh S#$t, I forget. I truly don't remember one thing. I need to record the next appointment."


Head down the stairs. I don't give a crap, I need help getting down. Please carry my child and you can stick Pinterest up your A@@!

I get downstairs and I hear "she looks like Monsters Inc!!!"

Did I just hear that right? Did you just call my child, who has Down syndrome, a monster. Deep breath and get ready for the attack. Get ready for me to shove my hand down your throat and rip out that punching bag thing at the back of your mouth. Get ready for an obscene amount of swear words, all directed to you, being shouted at your face, while I am three inches away from your nose. I don't care if I am in an office surrounded by kids right now. I have no shame. You just called my child a monster.

"Your little girl looks just like Boo from Monsters Inc. She is so cute."
"Who is Boo?"
"Johnny, show her a picture of Boo on your phone."
"Ohhhhhhhh, she does look like Boo."

Man walks in...

"Your daughter looks like Boo from Monsters Inc. She won't have to dress up for Halloween."

Leave me alone people. I need a drink.

Head to the car, load children, load oxygen, load purse.

I am sweating. I am ticked.

I text James and said "who, who, who has a pediatrician's office in an awkwardly shaped house and the patient rooms are upstairs. The rooms are upstairs!!!!! It's an office for children."

James knew to meet me at home, outside, ready to take the children.

My plan, which it never has been, was to come into the house and have one rum n coke while making dinner. I came in and forgot to drink.

Last non-pinterest mommy moment....a friend just stopped by to drop of a beautiful princess toy for the girls. I could smell something. I am a mom. I pull your pants out and look down your diaper. Yup, s#$t all over my fingers.

Rum n coke time!!

Happy Remembrance Day??

A few random thoughts.....

It's Remembrance Day here in Canada. It is a time to reflect and remember what others have done for us so that we have freedom. I think about my grandparents today and recall the stories that my Nan would tell us about the war, it was a tough subject. Nanny and Papa lived in London during the war and it was such a difficult and trying time.
I don't think people my age and younger really understand the magnitude of war. I know that when my Nan would come over to mom and dad's and we would be watching a movie, Nan would shudder and shake when there was a loud noise on the movie. It took her back to the London bombings. That made me sad.
I know that it's so silly and cliché, but why can't we all just get along. I see photos of fathers and mothers returning home to their families after serving for years, not having met their babies, not being able to return to daily living. It makes me so sad. We see these pictures and it affects us for a short time, not realizing that it affects them for a lifetime. I feel for the families. I have never been able to wrap my mind around war, and the purpose and how in the end, it is just pure devastation. So many lives lost, so much trauma, so unnecessary. I just don't get it.
As I scroll through posts on Facebook, I cringe when I see Happy Remembrance Day. Are you serious? Happy Remembrance Day. This isn't Easter or Christmas. This is a day to respect our veterans.

Anyways.....

Brinley wants to be a big girl now and refuses to sit in a high chair. Ok, so we let her sit in a booster seat at Boston Pizza and it went well. She stayed seated and ate her meal.
Tonight, at our kitchen table, she kept standing on the chair and guess what?? Yup, went down on her head. Thankfully she landed on the mat. Not that I enjoyed the fall but I'm hoping she wants to go back in the high chair. I like to keep the mess contained. :)
Some days I look at Brinley and see such a big girl. She's getting old! I kind of like it, I like the changes and I like how her personality is developing. She is calm and happy, yet extremely spicy and fiery with not a huge amount of patience. It's a nice mix. :)

Anyways....

Adele is doing well. She is smiling and then smiling some more. She smiles so hard that her little eyes turn to slits. It honestly takes away all of your stress and worries. She is infectious. She makes people happy. She draws others in. I love how this little girl has already made so many lives happier. I was chatting with a new friend today. She has twins, one with Down syndrome and the other is a typical little girl. Typical? One without Down syndrome? :)

Part of our conversation....

V...

Our daughter was born with Pulmonary Atresia (severe heart defect) and 3 holes in her heart. She has a pace maker, Gtube and has been on oxygen all her life. She has gone through 29 surgeries and countless blood transfusions and procedures. Despite everything she is our everything our "hero". I am glad to help you with anything as when my girls were born I had no one and I was lost & scared.

K...

Do you ever get to the point where you say that it just isn't fair and you feel bad for bringing her into the world? Did you ever feel that way when she was just a baby? I look at what we've been through and to be honest, we are lucky with Adele's health, but I have moments where I wonder if it's fair. I love her with every ounce of my being, I just feel bad sometimes. Make sense? Do I wish I terminated? No way. Not a chance, just feel bad.....

V...

Honestly I have never felt that way because I knew she would be loved and cared for unconditionally. I think that's why she was chosen for us, she has made me a stronger person in so many ways.

I love the stories and I love the support.

Another friend...

KB....

Oh! I was going tell you! I read your blog the one where you were talking about wanting your blog to make a difference in someone who is pregnant with a baby with DS. That would be me! I wasn't going to terminate but your blog was very therapeutic for me during my grieving process of the diagnosis coupled with being dumped because I didn't terminate. Even though we both don't have this figured out it was nice to find someone with similar emotions and experiences to what I was having (at nearly the exact same time I was having them!) Adele and E are so completely different for us now but when I was pregnant your blog helped me cope with that.
Your blog helped me through the diagnosis, pregnancy, and there after.

Getting that diagnosis and all the events following can make you feel very lonely and your blog showed me I wasn't alone.

When she told me this, it just made everything worthwhile.

I hope you had a chance to watch Adele's video. I made it for the girls. I made it to show others that it works out. I made it to show that Adele and Brinley have a bond so strong that your heart melts. I made it to remind myself that Adele is our gift, our miracle.

I'm slipping......but coming back :)

**You may have noticed the Top Mommy Blog badge on my page. Feel free to click on it. One click counts as one vote. After you have clicked on the badge, you can check out other blogs too. You can vote once every 24 hours. Just a click! :)

If you want to rank my blog or leave a comment.....I am in the Special Needs section....I am number 19 (BOO), I need to get to number 1! I am not doing this for my ego, I am doing this because this journey is important to me, it is important to share and to hopefully educate, entertain and show others that it can be done. I've said for a while now that these two girls, with the help of family and friends, will change the world! :)

Adele's Journey!! :)

Adele's Journey -- Click here!!!

 

 

I'm slipping......but coming back :)

**You may have noticed the Top Mommy Blog badge on my page. Feel free to click on it. One click counts as one vote. After you have clicked on the badge, you can check out other blogs too. You can vote once every 24 hours. Just a click! :)

If you want to rank my blog or leave a comment.....I am in the Special Needs section....I am number 20 (BOO), I need to get to number 1! I am not doing this for my ego, I am doing this because this journey is important to me, it is important to share and to hopefully educate, entertain and show others that it can be done. I've said for a while now that these two girls, with the help of family and friends, will change the world! :)