Dinner and Barf.....

This is what it is like at the in-laws when we go over for dinner. :)

Last night we had dinner with the in-laws for James' dad's birthday. I love it when others do the cooking and all I have to do is eat the food. We had salad, steak, ribs, stuffed potatoes, veggies and my fave, carrot cake for dessert. It was so delicious!!
I forgot to mention that for the appetizers, we had salad rolls, lettuce wraps and crackers with dip. Honestly, could life get any better?? Yup..it could have because the entire night I had the worst heartburn and indigestion, from my ribcage all the way to my belly button. Up almost all night. Wish I could have narrowed it down to what I ate. HA! HA!! HA!!! 

At the very end of our meal, Ashlyn (niece), got up and barfed her brains out beside the table. Everybody just let it happen, mind you, I guess there isn't much you can do. Her parents were so calm, barf, barf, barf. I jump up and have this mini panic...oh goodness, she's barfing. Finished barfing, Nana cleaned it up and on with dessert. I am that parent, I can't handle sick kids, especially my own. They just said "it happens." Oh, how I want to be that parent. "Oh, my kid is barfing, how's the weather??" In reality, I will be the parent that says "HOLY SH*%!! MY KID IS BARFING, SOMEBODY HELP ME, I CAN'T CLEAN THAT UP, OH MY LORD, GET A BUCKET, JAMES, COME HOME, JAMES COME TAKE CARE OF HER." I am not a good barfing mom. Maybe I can hire somebody to help during those times. :)

Now I feel ill. No more barf talk.

Brinley makes me laugh, because when she is at home, she talks non stop and is always full of expression and is very passionate when she's having a 'conversation' with you. She giggles, plays games, interacts with her daddy and mommy, but when you take her out, she is quiet and just looks around. She soaks everything in that is going on around her. It usually takes her around 20 minutes to relax and start interacting. She came out of her shell last night at dinner time, I think it's because food makes her happy....when she isn't picky. I love her little personality, quiet yet a little spicy.

We are off to Ange and Bob's today for Sunday family dinner. Ange is heading to Cabo on Tuesday while I stay in this winter hell. I think James and I need a vacation with little Miss B. Any suggestions? Short flight, not too pricey, virgin drinks :(, speedos, sun, beach, men feeding me grapes and fanning me.......

 

Have a great Sunday! :)

My Dream....

I have to tell you all about my dream last night. So besides the headache caused by this crazy weather, I had the most unsettling dream.
Both my sister and I were pregnant (Ange will freak out reading that she was pregnant.) I delivered at 32 weeks. A little too early, but when baby was delivered, I looked at her and she was beautiful and perfect. She looked just like Brinley. :) I forgot that Baby Bean had Down Syndrome, so I was content that she seemed happy and healthy. They took the baby to the NICU, I didn't think anything of it, I had just delivered and was tired. Once I started feeling better, I went to go see Baby Bean in the NICU, which was set up like a library. It was bizarre. The nurse took me to her after cleaning our hands and doing a full scrub down. When I saw baby, I said to the nurse that she had Down Syndrome and I started to cry. I cried so hard in my dream. I couldn't stop crying, but everybody in the NICU just went about their business. I felt all alone, just so sad. The nurse who took me to see our baby, handed her to me. She was so sweet and so new and so ours. The nurse looked at me and said "it's going to be alright." My dream ended.

When I woke up, my head hurt even more and I was sad. I also felt drained. I'm pretty sure that all my energy went into that dream last night. Besides feeling sad, I also felt calm, I don't know if that makes any sense to you?? I'm not so great at interpreting dreams but I see it as Baby Collins was delivered and to us she was just perfect and all ours. We didn't see that she had Down Syndrome, just this little girl who will rely on us to provide her with love, support and nourishment. I think the visit to the NICU, once I was feeling settled, was when some fears set in. The fear of what's next?? What do I do now?

I know that it's going to all work out. I had some of the same fears with Brinley. Day by day. That is it.

I miss my sex dreams!! :)

Brinley decided yesterday that she wanted to prove to her mommy and daddy that she could miss her morning nap and be a big, strong and alert little girl. She made it until 1:30pm, took a 2.5 hour nap then was exhausted again at 6:00pm. She was actually happy and pleasant, which surprised us BUT it made it kind of a long day. I didn't realize just how much that morning nap is appreciated by...ME!! It gives me the chance to shower, do bottles and get some cleaning accomplished. I got worried yesterday.....below is a picture of today at 11:00am. :)) Thank you Jesus!!!

Sleeping Princess

 

 

I hope that you all have a wonderful day spent with family and friends. :)

 

 

 

 



Baby Names...

Ok...I know that we are only 21 weeks into the pregnancy but we are planners and we are having troubles coming up with a name. With Brinley, we knew pretty much even before we got pregnant, first and middle names.
Baby Collins is tough for us. We had a name picked out and loved it but it's quite a popular name and making its way up on the charts. We want something that is going to be just perfect!!

I've decided to have a friendly competition, I'm sure James will be fine with it all. He'll know once he reads the blog and we all know that once it's on the blog, it's permanent.
I, meaning sort of we, want you guys to come up with some suggestions. We do want it to have meaning and we want it to be a strong name but nothing too crazy and unusual. We have one or two middle names picked out so we are ok there, but we need a name for this wonderful little bean. If we choose your suggested name, you win a prize!! I am into prizes and we all love gifts. For those of you who don't know me, I give good presents. I have great taste, well I think I do, maybe my friends can vouch for me.  :)

Next......

This is a message that I received last night from a very dear friend. <3

Hi Krista - love the blog! I work with a woman, her first child, M, who is now 41, has Downs Syndrome.  Her mother offered these thought to share with you.

There are many unknowns and it is what you have to get used to - unknown. Each of these children are like all of us, unique and individual! Never lower your expectations. My M was capable because I would not listen to all the negatives, they said she would never be toilet trained, she was, they said she would never read, she reads and loves to read. We taught her all the social graces and she is well mannered, she went everywhere with me and 35 years ago when a woman stared at her, she asked what she was looking at!  I beamed - that's my M!!!!

This weekend her mother, a volunteer coach, is off to Edmonton with her daughter and a bus of Special Olympics athletes. She has 8 including her daughter who bowl. As I left today her mother, with her beautiful smile said "yes I have 8 athletes to be up Saturday at 5:30am."  I promptly replied "I guess it's showering the night before and no makeup" and she said, "well I will ask each of them if they would prefer to get up even earlier or shower Friday night - after all, they need to keep their routines." As I listened to her and could hear and see the love she had for her daughter and all of her athletes. I knew I had to share all of this with you. Krista you will be like her mother - endless love for your little bean. M has challenges, she lives independently in supported living, has friends and a loving family. Most importantly she has a family who loves her, supports her and is very proud of her and her accomplishments.
Her mother is her advocate and she is tenacious - she used to volunteer for the Downs Syndrome Association and suggested it might be a good resource for you.

I really appreciated this message. This little girl is going to change so many lives and all for the better. I am already so in love with her and can't wait to meet her and hold her and tell her that she is the most beautiful and perfect little girl. It's going to be a long and busy journey, but we can do it. Raising kids is hard..period.

Lastly, a post from Amy Julia Becker. Thank you to my wonderful friend Cheryl for sending this to me yesterday. :)

You think Down syndrome means tragedy, and people will compare your experience to that of losing a child in a car accident or to cancer or some other horrible fate. And though you will experience a sense of loss, you will realize eventually that you have lost a hypothetical child, and that the child right in front of you, this child, with her sparkling eyes and crooked teeth and warm soft hand, this child is a blessing. In time, because of the privilege of knowing and loving her, you will realize that your grief has turned to gratitude and that your worry has turned to wonder.
You think Down syndrome means isolation, but you will discover that it brings a world of connections. It’s not only that you will now feel a bond with other parents of children with Down syndrome throughout the country and around the globe. It’s that having a child who looks and acts somewhat different from what you expected, a child who you see as beautiful and funny and kind and smart and brave, will help you to recognize that same beauty in everyone else. You will think your world has become smaller, when it has only begun to grow.
You think that Down syndrome means hardship, for you and your daughter. As with any child, you’re right. There will be sleepless nights. There will be doctor’s visits. There will be a time when you find her sitting up in bed with eyes sunken into her head from dehydration after a stomach flu, and you will rush her to the hospital and she will stay for two days. There will be meetings with her teachers who talk about behavior plans. You will worry about her health, her ability to make friends, her future. And yet you will also realize that every life arrives with hardship. And every life arrives with the potential for inexpressible joy.
You think Down syndrome means special treatment. And other people will, with very good intentions, treat her as if she can’t learn and can’t sit still and can’t communicate. But you will believe in her abilities, and you will discover that she can sit in time out just like her little brother. That she can communicate through sign language before she is able to talk with words. That she will work harder than any kid you’ve ever known as long as she is motivated, and that even though it takes longer for her, she will learn—to read, to swim, to tie her shoes, to ride a bike, to use gentle hands with her baby sister. You will learn not to treat her as special, but as her own person, with particular struggles and particular gifts.
You think Down syndrome means giving more than you have to give. And some days it will feel that way, as it will with each of your children. But then she will come over to you, with your head in your hands after a fight with your son, and she will say, “Mom, should we pray?” She will come home from school and embrace you and say, “I had a happy day Mom!” She will give back far more than she has ever taken.
She will break your heart. Wide open. And you will be forever forever grateful.

Princess Brinley!! xo

 

Keep Calm....

Baby Collins' new onesie! :)

 

 

I decided that Baby Collins needed a customized onesie! I think part of me had it made for myself....people will read it and see that it's all good and that this family has a great sense of humour.

 

I was out for lunch yesterday with two close friends, one has her PHD in Perinatal Epidemiology and the other has worked with families of children with disabilities for the past 7 years. They are such awesome people to talk to and to get advice from, all without judgement, just love and support.



Katie brought along some forms that I will eventually have to fill out and Emma is going to send me all of the links that are necessary for us to receive the supports and resources that will be needed in the future. Katie discussed some of the concerns that may arise but both said that it was so important to value the time when she may not need any services or surgeries or visits to the doctor. Enjoy the cuddles and snuggles, all you have to focus on is love and family time. We are really hoping for this little bean to come out healthy, without cardiac issues and other major health concerns. I am optimistic because of the results from the 18 week ultrasound. Prayers for next week's echo.

 

Next...some of you know James very well and others, well you don't him at all. You know the saying about how opposites attract, yes that would be correct when it comes to personality traits. I am loud and assertive and a bit on the controlling side....my mom would say bossy but I don't think I'm bossy, I just say things in a direct manner. I totally just made myself sound like a b*%$#, I'm not at all, well, I don't think I am, here's hoping I'm not. I just think I'm straight forward. Anyways, my point is that my husband is quieter, not as assertive and is such an amazing man. I was telling a friend tonight that I have only cleaned a toilet once and that was because I barfed in it, I have never put gas in my vehicle, we share cooking, he lets me sleep in often, he rubs and scratches my back every single night, without asking for anything in return . ;)
I wanted to touch on some of this because I do get concerned about what's going on in his head and how he is truly feeling. When we initially discussed our options, he said that he would fully support any decision that I made. I told him that his decision should not be based on what I want...that could destroy the marriage. I needed to know how he felt and I reassured him that I would not be upset no matter how he wished to proceed. This is his life too and his family and his future.
James also does not have a huge network of friends and to be honest, I don't know how a man discusses something like this with his buddies while out for a beer. "Soooooo, just to let you all know, my wife is pregnant and the baby has Down Syndrome." Not too sure where the conversation would go from there. Maybe "oh, sorry buddy, cheers."
James is fairly close to Bob, our brother-in-law and they have briefly discussed some concerns etc. I think my disappointment lies in that somebody who I thought was James' good friend, his closest friend, has not even contacted him to say hello, to see if James needed to talk to somebody. It breaks my heart. I want him to also have a network of support that he can go to when he has questions or worries...now please don't suggest a group of dads who sit in a circle and talk about their child who has Down Syndrome, I know that James would never go for that, but somebody who he could email some questions to or just connect with once in a while. Who knows if he would even connect with somebody....maybe this is just something that I want for him. This is all so new for James...when I asked him when we initially found out, what he knew about Down Syndrome, he said that he knew the TV show Life Goes On with Corky Thatcher and that was it...oh goodness. Advice?

Lastly....Brinley took a 35 minute nap yesterday, in total. We were thinking about selling her on Kijiji but found out that it was illegal. Who knew?? Should she be losing that first nap already? It was hopefully just a one day thing. :) How do I shower when I have an 18 month old and a newborn? Will I ever shower again? Will I brush my teeth? Will I wear makeup? Will I win the Lotto Max and hire a nanny just to come in for an hour every day and watch the kiddies while I get ready? Oh boy....how do you do it? :)

Just chillin'

Rules.....

In our house, we only have a couple rules. Well, we, meaning I, probably have more but I will talk about the two most important ones, I may actually touch on more. We'll see.

1) For everyone under the age of 2, there is no pooping in the bath tub. I'm hoping that everyone over the age of 2, just knows better. Maybe I will make sure that James is fully aware of this rule. :)
I should have known when Brinley's eyes went red, her nose went red and her cheeks went red and there was a little grunt and then a sigh of relief. Brinley needs to know that her momma has slight OCD and all the toys that came in contact with that water don't get cleaned, they get tossed. No more pooping in the tub!!

2) I am a heater and so is James, but I am by far worse off. James and I have a fan that we leave on 24 hours a day just to keep the room a little cooler. MY rule, since the fan is on James' side of the bed, is no farting toward the fan and if you must, on accident, you cover quickly and then don't move. James seems to 'forget' that this is a rule and a very important one. I am back on diclectin as the nausea has come back and when this rule is broken, I gag
and gag and then get mad. I try not to laugh because it it funny, yet, it makes me feel ill. 'WE' will continue to work on this rule and I know that you would like to stay updated.

I think I will only touch on these 2 today as I don't want the people who don't know me well to think that I am bossy or overbearing. I know that my close friends are laughing right now. I'm a teacher and a Rowland....we are assertive. ;)

Next, Brinley has decided that she doesn't want to eat meat right now but has a very strong love for grapes and cheese. We try to trick her, nope, it doesn't work. She will also only remain in her high-chair for so long before she needs to come out, meanwhile her meal is waiting for her on the tray. Do we let her graze and just leave the food on her tray for a while?? I can't wait until I can start bribing.
Some of you may say, she will let you know when she's hungry, but how she lets us know is through anger and tears. I am not wanting to get to that point. I just want her to eat! :)
Advice?

Brinley grazing and yes, that is crazy hair!! :)

Her Auntie did come over today and managed to get Brinley to eat her whole lunch. Do I hire Auntie Ange to come over daily and feed her niece? This is an option, it's not like she has anything better to do.

Lastly, I was recently told that if you are carrying a baby with Down Syndrome, the mother should be eating foods that contain certain vitamins? Is this a fact? Is there a special diet?

Still thinking about Boston today and sending love, prayers and hope your way. <3

Brinley's 13 month picture. Not so easy when they are mobile. :)

 

 

This and That....

I have a few things that I want to talk about today. I am going to start with a small one. I would really appreciate it if you would follow my blog, which means to become a Follower. The problem is, it very rarely shows up on my page, just the word Followers but the list of friends and their pictures do not appear.  I'm not too sure if it works for others. Let me know. :)

Next, my 7 year old niece wrote a very special letter to her cousin. It is written from the heart. <3 

 

Dear new cousin,

I don't care what you look like. Your my cousin and I love you. And a big cousin would always protect you and make sure you are safe. I would take you places like the mall or the circus. I love you.

Danika.

 

Honestly, do you not get a little teary and possibly let out a little giggle?? I like the part about taking her to the circus!!

 

 

Next, I know that everybody has been consumed by the horrible incident that happened at the Boston Marathon. My initial thoughts were that I was so upset and felt that I had lost all faith in the human race. How could people do this to others? To families? To children? What would possess you to take another life? To injure so many? To affect so many all across the world? It makes you think about just how horrible our world is today with all these wars and mass killings. I am so sorry for the family of the 8 year old boy who was waiting for his dad at the finish line. My hearts breaks for you.

After watching way too much footage, I realized that we have a world filled with amazing, caring and brave human beings. Volunteers, spectators, EMS, Firefighters and Police all risked their safety to help save the lives of others. I saw so many video clips of civilians running toward the injured and not in the other direction. This is what restored my faith in man kind. This is what makes me believe that my children will be ok. You raise your kids the best you can, teach them to be good people and to respect themselves and others. Dangers are everywhere and have been since the beginning of time....give them all the necessary tools and pray, lots.

 

Taken yesterday after rolling around in the blanket. Such awesome hair!

Your smile for the day. :)

 

 

My Crazy Sister....

I asked my sister this morning what I should write about today....she usually says to say something about her, like how she just got her hair done and how pretty it looks or just write about how great she is and how much I love her.....poor girl needs to work on her self esteem. :))

My blog today is a letter that I wrote to the local TV station about someone who inspires me. (Guess who??)  

I am inspired by my sister every day.

In March of 2010, my brother in law was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The whole family was in shock. How could somebody in their mid 30's be diagnosed with cancer?? My sister, Angela, had to think about their two young children, Ryder was a year old and Danika was 3 at the time. We all live out in High River and Bob was admitted to the PLC, which is quite the drive from our home. My husband and I took 2 weeks off of work and took care of the children while Angela drove every day up to the PLC to spend the day with Bob. He went through many rounds of chemo and radiation with his wife always at his side. Angela made sure to keep the family's routines and life as normal as she could for the kids all while worrying about her husband and his health.

The months quickly went by and the family encountered more trauma. My husband and I got married three weeks after Bob was diagnosed with cancer.....ok, so that wasn't so traumatic.  :) Bob got a day pass from the hospital and stood beside us while we exchanged our vows. My sister was smiling and helpful and never complaining about what she was feeling at that time, but instead made the day extra special for myself and James. Three weeks after the wedding, our grandmother passed away. My sister's daughter Danika was very close to her Nanny and was very upset that she had gone to heaven. Angela now had to take care of a grieving and very upset daughter while still taking care of her husband. Always strong for everybody else. Well if that wasn't enough, our dear mother had a heart attack that August. She is healthy and well today, but of course this just added more stress and upset to the family. Angela was a rock for everybody and always supporting and putting everybody else first, while taking care of her needs last.

Since 2010, life has been pretty good and very busy. Angela has made a commitment to the LLS, Leukemia and Lymphoma Society that she will help find a cure. Angela has raised thousands and thousands of dollars through fundraisers, online auctions and through the annual LLS walk. Angela has been so dedicated and passionate about raising awareness and educating others on blood cancers and other types of cancer. She has spent an endless amount of time raising the funds that are needed to find a cure for this horrible disease.
Angela has been featured in the High River Times several times as well as been on the news in Calgary because of her dedication to this very worthy cause.
I want everybody to know how wonderful and inspirational my sister is to myself and others in the family and in the community. She has become a local hero, but deserves to be viewed as a hero to all of Calgary and Alberta.

There is so much more that I could share about my sister, but this is a Coles Notes version of just how wonderful and lovely and amazing Angela Koenig is to all of us!!

Thanks so much!!

Sisters :)

 

 

I have to be honest, when I look back at this journey that our family was on together, it just reassures me that this new journey is something to look forward to. We have all been on journeys, whether you had lots or little support, you made it!! This is just a new journey that will be filled with some ups, some downs but my guess is, it will be filled with a whole lot of love. <3