20 January 2014

Stretch Marks and Babies....

Loves the outdoors!

Last night, I had a really great conversation with a good friend. We talked about how much our bodies have changed since childbirth. We are two very different people, well, when it comes to body shape and age. Kelsey is in her 20's whereas I am in my late 30s. Kelsey is a model, whereas, I am not! :) As women, we are so critical of our bodies and feel the need to compete with the skinny jeans mom. I don't look the same as what I did when I was 20. I don't look the same as when I was 30. I got to where I wanted to be when I was teaching, then met James and it all went downhill. ;) What happens when you get married? You get comfortable and fat! You eat pasta, you order food, you go out for dinner, you go out with other married friends for dinner, you go our for ice cream with the kids, you go to McDonald's because there is a play place and it's quick and easy, you don't go bar hopping anymore, you sit on the couch and watch TV with the kids, you go to bed early, you try new recipes that require cream and not skim milk, you get comfortable. It's almost like you have somebody now and you become this person who doesn't care as much because there is no more searching, no more dates, no need to get dolled up, no need to impress. You kind of let yourself go. It's not how we all roll, but it's sometimes how I feel. I need to get the confidence back, I need to get my body back. I don't care so much about the baby stretch marks. I made two beautiful girls. I earned every line. What I care about is how I feel as a woman. How I feel about just me, Krista. I want the feeling that when I walk out of the door, I want the gods to sing my praises, I want to hear halleluiah, you look fab Krista. I want to feel super! I've ran into a few friends lately and they have said that I was lookin' good, the first thing I do is argue with them. I usually say that I have so much work to do. I'm far off from where I want to be. I don't ever just say "THANK YOU."

Hanging out at the park!

My conversation with Kelsey....


Well I got lots and lots of scarring and big c section scar that I ripped open too. Remember?

Were you asked a day after you gave birth to E? 
I was 4 months!!!!!


No it was several months later when I had a beer in my hand.


I felt so deflated, I bet you did too.

My ego, that I already don't have went so far into the crapper.



I didn't even feel like I looked pregnant and still got asked a couple times but then when I was pregnant nobody said a word ever.

I would go to the gym and people would look at me like "is she? Isn't she?" And I wanted to just scream "YES JEEZ."


Honestly!!!!!!! I am up 50 pounds since I got married. Thank god for being tall but I seriously need to get it together. It's hard when you stay at home with the kids and meet friends often for lunches and dinners.


And I've had a few people pinch my belly or my arms. Just rude.
I'm still up about 15 from before I got pregnant but I'm comfy with it. People tell me now I looked gross then as if that's supposed to help.


Are you kidding me?? People have no tact. You do look really great! Truly!
I don't allow anybody to take my picture.


You look pretty!


Thanks Kelsey!!! I'm not like all locked up in my house crying myself to sleep at night because I have no self esteem. That drives me nuts!! Just need to get where I want to be. We are so critical of ourselves and the older we get, your body gets more loose!


I know but as far as our bodies go they will never be the same as before but I think that that's beautiful because it shows what we've gone through. Especially US. But if some changes help to improve self esteem I'm all about that.

Napping on dad :)

Kelsey also sent me a link to another blog. When I read this post, I enjoyed it and felt like all moms could relate. Yes, her body is pretty good but we don't know how it looked before her baby, so I tried not to judge....too much. ;)

We Seek Joy.
"Babies Ruin Bodies"

An Ode to my Postpartum Body.

Before I became pregnant, someone told me, "don't have a baby, babies ruin your body."
It has been over a year since Anabel began her life. This time last year she was a microscopic speck inside of me, and we were announcing our pregnancy. Between then and now, I have gained and lost fifty pounds. Four months after her birth, and my body still carries proof of her existence. 

I have dark pools under my eyes. A valley where my belly button once was. Hips with a new amplitude that my teenage self wouldn't recognize. I have lines mapped across the mountains of stretched skin left over on my midsection. Lightening bolts on my sides proving I once was too small to contain all of the love that filled me. Lines indicating that my daughter once lived inside of me. 
Do you realize the significance in that? Every limb, finger, toe...her heart, even, developed near the very place my own heart beats inside of my chest. Those mountains of skin are all I have left to prove that we were once one and not two. 

How can I be ashamed of that? 

I have so much to say about seeing my grandfather's eyes embedded into the sockets, and under the brows and lashes of her father's. I see the seventeen year old boy I fell in love with, and my grandpa as a child all at once every time she looks up at me. She even wears my ears and my chin. The two very things I cursed having the most growing up. Not much makes me feel more beautiful than seeing tiny renditions of those same features on Anabel, and realizing just how special they are. 
My body grew that. 

Not everybody has that privilege. 
Sure my belly is a bit softer nowadays, but the way it moves when I jump up and down sends my girl into fits of giggles. And yeah, my hips are hardly as narrow as they used to be, but they sure know the perfect figure-8 motion to sway her to sleep. My twenty-one year old hair is even beginning to gray, but not much soothes her more than my hair between her little fingers.

I am not something flawless in the eyes of society, or even close to what I once was physically, but my perfect girl sees me for who I am. 

To her, I hang the moon. 
She knows my heart - she knew it long before we met.
And she loves me for it.

 I cannot tell you how much worth and validation I feel because of that truth. 
My body is only a vessel for my spirit. An incredible vessel. It is strong, well, abled, and undefeated. 

My body is full of life. 

My body is powerful. 
My body made me a mother. 

If anything, I was ruined by the world before I knew her, and she made me whole again.

I want to get to 100 000 views by April. I am at 80 225 right now. If you share my blog, tag me in the post and you will be entered in a draw for a great prize!! If you are sharing again today, you will have another chance to win! I will mail it to anywhere in the world. My goal...get the word out. Bring reassurance to families. Bring comfort and joy to those who are struggling. Lots of shares so far! If we are not friends on Facebook, send me an email after you have shared, at krowland23@hotmail.com. <3

Love my Hugaboo!!




  1. I know exactly what you're talking about. I was such a skinny mini before having my daughter, I used to model, dance and I was always toned. Luckily for me my daughter didn't give me any stretch marks but my body did change and a lot. I am no longer the size 00 I used to be, I'm a size 3 now but I am actually more pleased with my body now than I was before. I have curves now, I didn't have before. And I may not be a skinny mini but I am extremely happy with my body, I care more about being healthy and feeling good about myself than being as skinny as I was before. But I believe that as long as you feel good that's all that matters. Get dolled up for yourself not for anyone else and remember to treat yourself because you deserve it. As for having stretchmarks, be proud of them because your a momma lion and you earned your stripes.

  2. Size 3??? Oh, how I wish! :) Healthy and happy and getting all dolled up for yourself,I totally agree with you. Well said my friend. :)

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  4. LOVE THIS.....t @ Happy Soul Project

    1. Thanks Happy Soul!!!! Your project is changing lives. :)

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