13 January 2014

Holy Shit!!!

Sometimes you just need to drink! :)

Just a couple of thoughts today.

First, I don't have PMS, well not today.

James was heading out to a job today and the weather sucks. The roads are brutal and it's icy. He told me that he would text me as soon as he arrived on site to let me know that he was safe. After two hours, I started calling. No answer. I texted. No answer. I started to panic after calling three times. He always checks in and he never forgets.
After 3 hours, I was teary. I don't usually get all panicked but I was today.

The phone rang, it was my mom telling me that James had just stopped by to pick up the passport forms and that he just left. I started bawling. I told my mom that he always checks in and he didn't this time. They got caught up in a big Disneyland conversation and lost track of time. I realized today that I still love my husband and want him around! Maybe these scary moments are needed to make you realize what you have and to not take those you love for granted. I'm good now for a long time.

Cirque Du Soleil??

My next thought. I recently partially read a blog that was sent to me about babies and kids. I had been meaning to write a blog on the very same topic, so here is my version. :)

As parents, we are told to do this, do that, don't do this and don't do that....it goes on and on.
Years ago, there were no baby monitors, now we have the monitor that detects baby's heartbeat and breathing. We have the video monitors that allow us to talk to our children to tell them to go back to sleep without even leaving the couch. We were told to put them on their bellies to go to sleep then we were told that if you put your baby on their belly there is a greater chance of SIDS. Put your baby on their back. If your baby has reflux or is congested, elevate your baby, put a wedge under their mattress. No, don't elevate your baby anymore for any reason. Lay your baby on their side, that works. No, don't put your baby on their side. Use pretty bumpers in the crib. No don't use bumpers because your baby will suffocate. Your baby has blankets and a stuffed animal in their crib? That is so unsafe. You only have your child in a sleep sac with no toys? You are a bad parent. Use a mobile over the crib, this will help baby to fall asleep. No, don't use a mobile because baby will get a flat spot on the back of their head and you'll need a helmet. Your child can't sleep? Put them in the car seat to settle them down. No, that is unsafe. Put your child in the bouncy chair if that is where they are the most comfortable, but not for more then two hours. Put your child in the swing to sleep. No don't put your child in the swing to sleep because it could cut off their oxygen and they could die. If you put your child in the swing, have it on speed three for only fifteen minutes, then second speed for five minutes, then you should remove your child for at least thirty minutes, then repeat steps one through three.

You don't have a sleep routine for your child? You don't have a schedule on the fridge? Your child goes to bed at 8:00pm? That is too late. Your child goes to bed at 6:00pm? You must not like your child. You took a nap away today from your child so that you could go out? That is selfish and irresponsible. You are a bad parent.

You have a Bumbo? That is so unsafe. You don't have a Bumbo? Everybody has a Bumbo. You put the Bumbo on the counter? You are going to kill your child. I only put the Bumbo on the floor directly beside me because I am a good mother and I don't need to make lunch or supper or do dishes at any point in the day.

You only have two children? You must not deal with stress very well. You have four children? What were you thinking? You'll never sleep again. You only have one child? That is so unfair to your child. They don't have a sibling to share their life with...that is so selfish. You have five children? You can't afford vacations. You can't afford post-secondary. You don't have enough love to give all five children.

Use a soother to calm baby down. No, don't use a soother because your child will end up with buck teeth and you'll be up to your tits in dentist bills.

Breastfeed and do everything possible to get your boobs working. If you don't breastfeed, your child will get sick, all of the time. Your child's IQ will be lower and there is a greater chance that your child will have two more bouts of diarrhea during their childhood years. You should give your baby formula because breastfeeding in public is gross. Whipping your boobs out for all to see makes it very uncomfortable for others. Put your boobs away. No, you should breastfeed at home and use formula when you are out in public. If you can't breastfeed, you should buy a four hundred dollar pump and take pills and take more pills and if your boobs still don't work, you have failed. Put your boobs away in public.

Your child should be potty trained by the time they are two years old and if they're not, you have failed as a parent and something must be terribly wrong with your child and you. You should be using cloth diapers because if you aren't, you are killing the earth. You are destroying your child's future with all the diapers that you have put in the landfills. Shame on you. You use cloth diapers? You scrape shit off of the cloth diaper and then wash them? You are gross!

Not always in the mood for pictures!!

Everybody should co-sleep so that you have a strong bond with your child. Why are you co-sleeping? You are raising a wimpy child who will never leave your bed and you will suffocate them while in your passed out drunken state. Shame on you for not co-sleeping. Shame on you for co-sleeping.

I only feed my child organic food because I don't want my child filled with pesticides and hormones and by-products. I only shop at that one market and pay an obscene amount of money to keep my child healthy. I fed my child McDonald's last night because she needs to experience all foods and get a taste for everything. Your organic food is filled with more shit then my normal, pesticide food. You are a bad mom for giving your child organic food. You are a bad mom for taking your child to McDonald's.

My child is in French immersion because that is the only way you will survive in the workforce. A child needs at least two languages in today's society. My child is in the full English program because that is the language we speak in this country. You're a bad parent.

You immunize your child? You are filling your child with shit that could kill them. You don't immunize your child? You are putting your child's life at risk and others. My child takes vitamin D and doesn't need to be immunized and we wash our hands regularly. We immunize and vaccinate but my child has been so incredibly sick this year. You don't immunize? You are killing your child. You immunize? You are killing your child.

You gave your child a cell phone? Your child has a tablet? Your child has a laptop? You spoil your kids and you are teaching them that they don't need to value the outdoors. You are teaching them that there is no value in spending time with the family. You are teaching them to be anti-social. You are a bad parent.
Your child doesn't have an X-Box? No cell phone? What do you do all day long? Why would you limit their computer skills? This is the future. It's interactive. It works on hand eye coordination. You are a bad parent.
Your child has a Facebook account? This promotes bullying. Your child doesn't have a Facebook account? How does your child stay connected to the world? This is the future. You are a bad parent.

You wonder why we stress about being parents. Being a parent and trying to do what is best for your kids is not always what is best for your kids but actually it is what is best for that month! :)

A little contest....I want to get to 100 000 views by April. I am at 77 515 right now. If you share my blog, tag me in the post and you will be entered in a draw for a great prize!! A really great prize. If you are sharing again today, you will have another chance to win! I will mail it to anywhere in the world. My goal...get the word out. Bring reassurance to families. Bring comfort and joy to those who are struggling. Lots of shares so far! If we are not friends on Facebook, send me an email after you have shared, at krowland23@hotmail.com or comment below. <3

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