To Immunize or To Not Immunize???

I'm so vain!

So I know that my topic today will upset some people but it's been on my mind lately and it's my blog, so I get to write about anything I want.....now in saying that, I also have to be willing to read comments that come from people who object to my posts.

Immunizations and vaccines.....

I have thought about this topic since Brinley was born. I always thought that it was something that all parents did, you immunize your children. It is safe. It is the right thing to do. It is approved by doctors and nurses. You just immunize your children and that is that.

First time on my play mat!

So, I didn't REALLY start thinking about it until a couple of friends told me that they don't immunize their children. I think I almost fainted. Why would you do this to your children? Why would you want to put your child or other children at risk? Shame on you. Wait, is there mercury in the vaccinations? Are there harmful toxins that can harm your children? Can your child really develop autism after a vaccination? My opinions started to waiver. I was moving closer to the fence and almost sitting on it. To vaccinate or to not vaccinate? I don't believe in searching the web to find answers. I know that checking out YouTube and Wikipedia are not a good choice. What is a reliable source? I know that the naturopaths have their views and I know that the medical community have their own opinions and views. My friend Jenn posted on Facebook today what is happening in regards to communicable diseases and what is happening when parents don't vaccinate. One of our friends, who is a nurse also joined in on the conversation, this is some of what was discussed....

JM...

Measles have been confirmed in Lethbridge by AHS. I don't know about you, but I'm getting a booster. It is airborne and highly contagious, please think carefully about vaccinations and educate yourselves before you refuse vaccines, it could save the life of your loved ones.

 It wasn't around for a while but it's making a comeback because parents are choosing not to vaccinate. It is a very dangerous disease and has wiped out thousands of people. Thousands. In 2011 there were 158 000 deaths from measles world wide. 430 deaths every day. 18 deaths every hour!! It is the leading cause of child deaths world wide. It is very serious and is only coming back because parents are afraid of what is in a vaccination. Vaccinations are not what they used to be, I just can't fathom taking that kind of risk.

S.....

So many misguided people and now eradicated diseases are coming back and killing children!!! Take it from an ER Nurse. I've seen it and will never forget it.

The amount of mercury that used to be in it was not even a problem but they have removed it completely from the MMR vaccine.

If you go to the CDC website there is valid research showing that there is 100% no link between autism and vaccines. None!! That doctor was disproved and discredited and his license was revoked. People, when you do research please use proper research articles, I cannot stress this enough. YouTube and Dr Google are not valid research.

V.....

I recently weighed in on this issue, on another Facebook post, and I will do so again here because my family has been very directly effected by vaccination. My daughter suffered complete and permanent hearing loss after her MMR vaccination at 18 months old - she is now profoundly deaf. (Interestingly enough, loss of hearing is a common complication with a case of the measles.) In both Europe and the USA, a parent must sign a waiver acknowledging the possible side effects as a result of a vaccination, prior to their child being vaccinated, and one of the listed side effects is “possible hearing loss”. Despite what has happened to my daughter, I believe vaccinations have had global benefits, saved the lives of many, many children, and the good has likely outweighed the bad. There is a risk associated with everything - from driving a car, to eating a hamburger, or even walking down a sidewalk. But I think parents need to be well-informed and educated with OBJECTIVE and impartial information from our Canadian medical system. Maybe then, parents will be able to make the best decision for their child without having to take such a strong stand on either side of this issue. Because right now, both sides of the vaccination controversy feel like they are just being sold a bill of goods from the other side. I can see my daughter has suffered as a result of a vaccination - her hearing loss is a tangible, but all the lives saved, all the children that have become accomplished adults and are contributing something special to this world - maybe they wouldn't be here had society let disease rage on without intervention. It's the intangible side of vaccination, that cannot be measured. Would I vaccinate again? Knowing what I know? Yep, I would.

J.....

I have a son who was diagnosed with autism.  His whole life changed after I vaccinated him at 18 months. I was trying to find answers as to why my child was diagnosed with autism. It happened that the onset was at the same time as the vaccination so with my second child I vaccinated her but only the first set. It was not easy to make that decision. I cried and defended my decision. My daughter is now 8 years old and has no major health issues.  She has a mental illness and no thyroid but we know that this was not caused by vaccines or lack of. We talked about finishing her vaccines and updating our 14 year old son and it will happen soon.  As a parent who didn't vaccinate, I'm not arguing, I'm pointing out that because we didn't, we worry and we are scared and we take precautions.  I grew up in a home and family that vaccinated. I think vaccination talk is as sensitive as the circumcision debate and I think that if I respect others vaccinating their children then maybe others need to understand that the choice we made was never ever easy or a representation of our parenting.

So.....I looked at both sides and I went to a reputable and recommended website. I believe that autism is not caused by vaccinations. I think that the signs and symptoms are starting to show at around the age of 18 months. I could be wrong. Information pulled from the site.....

A new study evaluating parents’ concerns of “too many vaccines too soon” and autism has been published online in the Journal of Pediatrics  [PDF - 256 KB] , March 29, 2013. It adds to the conclusion of a 2004 comprehensive review by the Institute of Medicine (IOM) that there is not a causal relationship between certain vaccine types and autism. The results provide relevant data for the current childhood immunization schedule.
The study looked at the amount of antigens from vaccines received on one day of vaccination and the amount of antigens from vaccines received in total during the first two years of life and found no connection to the development of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in children. Antigens are substances in vaccines that cause the body’s immune system to produce antibodies to fight disease.
Researchers collected data from 3 managed care organizations in a group of 256 children with ASD compared with 752 children without ASD.
The study’s main findings report:

• The total amount of antigens from vaccines received was the same between children with ASD and those that did not have ASD.
• Children with ASD with regression (the loss of developmental skills during the second year of life) did not receive an increased number of vaccine antigens when compared to children without ASD with regression.
• The number of vaccine antigens has decreased in recent years. Although the routine childhood vaccine immunization schedule in 2013 contains more vaccines than the schedule in the late 1990s, the maximum number of vaccine antigens that a child would be exposed to by 2 years of age in 2013 is 315, compared with several thousand in the late 1990s. This is due to changes in the vaccines. For example, the older whole cell pertussis vaccine causes the body to produce about 3,000 different antibodies, whereas the newer acellular pertussis vaccines cause the production of 6 or fewer different antibodies.

An infant’s immune system is capable of responding to a large amount of immunologic stimuli and, from time of birth, infants are exposed to hundreds of viruses and countless antigens that are not associated with vaccination. This study demonstrates that autism spectrum disorder is not associated with immunological stimulation from vaccines during the first 2 years of life.
Parents should expect the vaccines their children receive are safe and effective. CDC, along with other federal agencies, is committed to assuring the safety of vaccines through rigorous pre-licensure trials and post-licensure monitoring.

 

I have to say that I support vaccinations and I think that it is also important that others also vaccinate their children. Adele is so young and her immune system is far from developed. We are also supporters of the flu shot. Does it have serious adverse affects?? I remember watching a video....

FLU SHOT GONE WRONG

Was it really the flu shot? I feel that I need to be as healthy as I can be around my girls and I need for others to be healthy around the girls as well...it's such a complicated topic. I see both sides. I really do but I will continue to vaccinate my children and I will continue to get the flu shot.

**You may have noticed the Top Mommy Blog badge on my page. Feel free to click on it. One click counts as one vote. After you have clicked on the badge, you can check out other blogs too. You can vote once every 24 hours. Just a click! :)

If you want to rank my blog or leave a comment.....I am in the Special Needs section....I am number 13, I need to get to number 1! I am not doing this for my ego, I am doing this because this journey is important to me, it is important to share and to hopefully educate, entertain and show others that it can be done. I've said for a while now that these two girls, with the help of family and friends, will change the world! :)

                  

Musical Genius!

Just playing my xylophone!

Well, we had our first music therapy session at JB Music in Calgary. It was awesome. I loved the instructor, Jimmy. He was so personable and was so comfortable around Brinley and Adele. He knew exactly what to say and do with Brinley. He welcomed her into the music room and kept her entertained and busy. It was 45 minutes of pure fun with a mix of education and some great songs. Jimmy let Brinley play songs on the piano and xylophone and continually encouraged her to participate. I also really liked Jimmy because he said that Brinley was smart. :)

Smiles!!

The absolute best part was when he sang songs to Adele. He sat on a chair, right in front of Adele and played beautiful songs. Some of the songs, he would add her name and he always looked at her, he would make eye contact and you knew that he was being genuine. Adele is a very sleepy baby, but she stayed awake for the full 45 minutes. She enjoyed the session and I could tell that there was a positive impact on our beautiful little girl. It was a moment that I don't think I will ever forget. It was special and meaningful.

Jimmy has a soft voice, but he's still manly. :) You can tell that he loves his job. I think he loves his job, if he doesn't, he's faking it really well. :)

I am so happy that I signed up! This is something that will benefit both girls in many areas of their lives, socially, emotionally, psychologically and cognitively.

BOO!

Since being back in High River, I have made my way around town and have checked out some of the hardest hit areas. It's sad to look at these beautiful homes that have been destroyed. One of the areas is a bit eerie. It's quiet, dirty and is totally abandoned. It's bizarre how one home could be condemned while a house a few doors down, is ok and liveable. I know that I've talked a lot about the flood, but I need to. It's been almost four months and homes are still being repaired, including our house. You still drive up and down streets and you see furnaces, drywall, hot water tanks and belongings out on the street ready for garbage pick up. We live it every day. We see it every day. We are reminded of the devastation every day. Some people have written the newspaper and have voiced that High River needs to get over themselves and to move on. In the past, when I would see footage on Hurricane Katrina or the Tsunami or the Twin Towers coming down, I would feel the pain and heartache but I would move on. I would grieve for a short amount of time then my life would continue. Please don't think that I am comparing our natural disaster to other disasters that I mentioned above. It is impossible to compare and it also isn't right. So many people have been impacted on many levels, that comparing can not be justified. I've never actually lived it before. I've never seen real devastation. I've never seen a community of trailers set up for families who have lost everything. I've never seen lawns filled with belongings and memories. Days after the flood when some of the communities were permitted to return to their homes, there was  90 year old gentleman who lost a lot. Could you imagine being 90 years old and having to unload your home? He didn't know what to do, so he mowed his lawn. While the community was dressed in hazmat suits and face masks, he was so lost, emotionally. He was alone. My heart breaks.
While others have moved on, High River is trying to be strong and trying to re-build, but it isn't easy. Some people don't have the funds to re-open, some don't have the energy or the time, some are just too tired.
The town is dirty. It really is. I get so confused how the Saddledome and the community could be totally cleaned and made new in weeks, and here we are, doing it all on our own. How is this possible? It sure makes us feel unworthy and neglected. What is more important? The Stampede? Hockey games? The well being of individuals? I question where priorities lay with politicians and our premier. Why do we have a whole school in a community centre with parents being informed weekly of the move in date that seems to be bumped and bumped and bumped? Why was the contract given to a company who has never set up portables before? Oh yes, that is right, they had the best bid, the numbers were on target. This all baffles my mind. I feel such pain for the teachers who have to pack up their classrooms every Friday then unpack every Monday and set up for the week. How is this healthy? How does a teacher walk into their 'classroom' every day and smile and make a positive difference in the lives of these children? They are saints.

Beautiful little girl :)

I think I just went on a little rant. Anyways, as I was driving tonight, I saw an awesome and kind of funny sight. There was this little old lady, dressed to the nines, driving her motorized scooter/wheelchair. She had a big Canadian flag swaying and an umbrella type covering over her head. She was booting it down the main street and I giggled. It was a happy sight.

Mom and dad, why do you do this to me?


**You may have noticed the Top Mommy Blog badge on my page. Feel free to click on it. One click counts as one vote. After you have clicked on the badge, you can check out other blogs too. You can vote once every 24 hours. Just a click! :)

If you want to rank my blog or leave a comment.....I am in the Special Needs section....I am number 18 (BOO), I need to get to number 1! I am not doing this for my ego, I am doing this because this journey is important to me, it is important to share and to hopefully educate, entertain and show others that it can be done. I've said for a while now that these two girls, with the help of family and friends, will change the world! :)

Milestones and Music Therapy!!

Posing with Lightning McQueen!

Life has been super busy these past couple of weeks. We've had plans almost every day, either with friends or appointments. It's been lots of fun. :)

Today, we had an appointment with the developmental specialist and she was lovely. I thought that I would have to drive to The Children's Hospital weekly for appointments, but we don't. The specialist will come out to our home and work with Adele. We are going to start with baby massage. She is trained in baby massage and I am interested in learning. What's great is that we can also do this with Brinley. She is still young enough to reap the rewards. She was pleased with what we are doing with little Adele right now, tummy time, working on her neck muscles and focusing on feedings and making sure that Adele is healthy and growing. She recommended that we put her on a breastfeeding pillow on her play mat, this will help with working on her muscles. She will reach for toys, hopefully and work on her neck strength. The other thing was to lay her on her side once in a while so that she can also work on her muscle tone. It's all about the tone.
I know that many babies (not all) with Down syndrome lay flat and don't kick or reach a lot until they build up some strength. Adele reaches and kicks. She's quite the mover and the shaker. She makes me smile.

Sleepy today :)
 

Tomorrow we start music therapy. I am excited to get going on introducing the girls to different instruments and sounds. Brinley loves music. She loves to dance. She hasn't been around any instruments but I have a feeling that she will enjoy it immensely.

Went from the couch onto my wooden toy :(
Mommy had a heart attack and wanted to barf!

Why music therapy is beneficial....

Brain Waves: Research has shown that music with a strong beat can stimulate brainwaves to resonate in sync with the beat, with faster beats bringing sharper concentration and more alert thinking, and a slower tempo promoting a calm, meditative state. Also, research has found that the change in brainwave activity levels that music can bring can also enable the brain to shift speeds more easily on its own as needed, which means that music can bring lasting benefits to your state of mind, even after you’ve stopped listening.

Breathing and Heart Rate: With alterations in brainwaves comes changes in other bodily functions. Those governed by the autonomic nervous system, such as breathing and heart rate can also be altered by the changes music can bring. This can mean slower breathing, slower heart rate, and an activation of the relaxation response, among other things. This is why music and music therapy can help counteract or prevent the damaging effects of chronic stress, greatly promoting not only relaxation, but health.

State of Mind: Music can also be used to bring a more positive state of mind, helping to keep depression and anxiety at bay. This can help prevent the stress response from wreaking havoc on the body, and can help keep creativity and optimism levels higher, bringing many other benefits.

Other Benefits: Music has also been found to bring many other benefits, such as lowering blood pressure (which can also reduce the risk of stroke and other health problems over time), boost immunity, ease muscle tension, and more. With so many benefits and such profound physical effects, it’s no surprise that so many are seeing music as an important tool to help the body in staying (or becoming) healthy.

Pudding made me feel better!

My friend Jenny, who I go to for advice, left a great comment on my last blog. She seems to always make me feel better and encourages me to just focus on Adele, who is just a little girl.

Jenny.....

Oh no, no, no!! Don't EVER do the Baby Center thing!! Nothing good comes from places like that! You don't need updates on what your kid should be doing. I say get off there right now!

Ok, so you already know that each child with Ds is different. They all do things on their own timeline. The range for meeting milestones for kids with Ds is so damn wide that there is no need to even go by it. Like for walking...They say anywhere between 17 months to 4 years old. So ya, wide range! Sitting is the same thing. I would venture to say most sit around their first Birthday. Some much sooner, some a little later. I think Russell was about 9 or 10 months. Walking was just after his second Birthday.
I will tell you this. The milestones will matter to you, because you're a Mom and you won't be able to help not worrying about it. But don't let it consume you. I was consumed by it. If I could go back in time it is the one thing I would change Krista. I would have just enjoyed the slower pace, not worried as much, and just relaxed. Because those milestones I once obsessed over, I can't even remember now when exactly he hit them. When exactly he did roll over, or sit, or crawl...I have to go back and look them up. Because they don't matter anymore. Anyway, so that's my long rambly advice. Don't let it consume you! Enjoy the pace.

Ah the vasectomy...lol...Damn you for not having one more kid! I remember being all excited for Brad's...Cause ya, I popped out five kids, three of which had his big ass head...*ahem*...So I was looking forward to his discomfort. I was very angry when the Doctor would not let me watch! I mean why did Brad get to watch every thing I had to go through but I couldn't watch this?! And this is the part you won't want your husband to read...I felt sooooo bad after Brad got it done. I have never seen anything swell up like that before or turn that color. It was almost horrifying! And if I knew it was going to be like that for him I would have just got my tubes tied. So be nice to him when he gets it done!! lol

Who needs a spoon??

**You may have noticed the Top Mommy Blog badge on my page. Feel free to click on it. One click counts as one vote. After you have clicked on the badge, you can check out other blogs too. You can vote once every 24 hours. Just a click! :)

If you want to rank my blog or leave a comment.....I am in the Special Needs section....I am number 15, I need to get to number 1! I am not doing this for my ego, I am doing this because this journey is important to me, it is important to share and to hopefully educate, entertain and show others that it can be done. I've said for a while now that these two girls, with the help of family and friends, will change the world! :)

 

It's BOOKED......

Showing off my outfit!

Last night as James and I were laying in bed, we talked about when the girls will meet or should meet certain milestones. We talked about how we should start potty training with Brinley and also to be more consistent with the teeth brushing....not really a milestone, just something we were talking about! Who really needs baby teeth anyways?? ;) We talked about Brinley's speech and what words she already knows and hopefully soon she spits out some sentences soon.  Brinley understands everything we say and follows directions, but she doesn't have a huge vocabulary. I'm tired of Baby Centre updates telling me that my baby should be saying so many words and writing essays by 19 months. She's not there....we have mom, dad, juice, shoes, baby, sou sou, and a million words that we don't understand. She is stellar at jargon and we think it's awesome. I need to sit back and relax and breathe. I think she's smart or do we all think our kids are smart??? Maybe she's average...average is good, but then again, average doesn't get you into medical school. Am I really thinking about medical school? She doesn't need to go to medical school, just some kind of school. A school that she likes. A school that I like. A school close to home.

Tummy time is hard work!

Hmmm.....

Onto Adele.......I know that I've expressed my worries and concerns already but I do think a lot about when she will meet some milestones. I am optimistic right now because she did roll over at one month and three weeks and she did smile for the first time at two months. Those are two milestones that I can check off my checklist. I don't really have a checklist, like a written down list, but I have a mental checklist. I was reading the other day on one of the Down syndrome sites about when children meet certain milestones. One of the moms was concerned about when her child would sit up and when her child would walk. The average seemed to be around 16 months for sitting up unassisted and 2 to 2.5 for walking. Is this accurate?? I'm ok with this. I truly am. I think. I don't know if I am because I am not there quite yet. Will I get really frustrated? Will I get pissed off that it's taking so long? On the other hand, I will be so excited when she meets her milestones. When she sits up unassisted, when she walks, when she says mom. I will be excited.
I know that the spectrum is large but do children with Down syndrome generally meet milestones around the same time?
I don't like to google everything. I like to hear from the mommies and even daddies who read the blog. Do any daddies actually read my blog? Hmmmm......
I should stop talking about my boobs and stuff. :)

So tired of my mom taking my picture!

Anyways, last thought for the day. James is all booked for his vasectomy. It is all set for next Friday and I am sort of maybe going to enjoy it! ;) I remind him that I did shoot out two babies and both without epidurals. Well, I wanted epidurals but the first fell out and no time for the second. James takes pain well and never complains but I could see a little fear in his eyes when he was describing the procedure to me.
One of his first comments was "I don't own tight underwear."
Me - "You need tight underwear?"
James - "I need support."
Me - "Oh."

I'm so cute!

Doctor - "Do you own bike shorts."
James - "NO."
Doctor - Do you own Speedos?"
James - "NO."
Doctor - "I don't understand why in North America Speedos are not considered acceptable but men wear tight bike shorts."
James - ?????????

James - "Why is there a large bandage on your hand?"
Doctor - "Don't worry, it'll be healed by your procedure date."
James - Should I be worried? Should I book with somebody else?"
Doctor - "Don't worry."
James - ?????????

Krista - "I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of excited for your vasectomy. Not because of future action but because I want you to whine a little and need a pea bag."
James - "I understand."
Krista - "So, your scrotum might turn blue."
James - "Yes. The doctor touched me today. I guess I'm eligible for a vasectomy. He sees no complications."
Krista - ???????

Will post pictures next Friday. :) JUST KIDDING!!

A beautiful gift made by a dear friend. xo



**You may have noticed the Top Mommy Blog badge on my page. Feel free to click on it. One click counts as one vote. After you have clicked on the badge, you can check out other blogs too. You can vote once every 24 hours. Just a click! :)

If you want to rank my blog or leave a comment.....I am in the Special Needs section....I am number 15, I need to get to number 1! I am not doing this for my ego, I am doing this because this journey is important to me, it is important to share and to hopefully educate, entertain and show others that it can be done. I've said for a while now that these two girls, with the help of family and friends, will change the world! :)

 

 

 

Her Story....

My name is Chrissy and Krista is a dear friend of our family. Along with being Down syndrome awareness month, October is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness month, and today, October 15, 2013 is the official day of remembrance so I want to share a little of our story. I have 4 beautiful children “at home” - that is how I answer when people ask how many children I have. They are 7, 4.5, 2 and 4.5mths. But I also have two beautiful babies in heaven, one I never got to hold or even see, and one I held and saw her beautiful face, despite her never taking a breath.

 

Katie, Morgan, Rachel and Liam

 

 

My first loss was in October 2005, a miscarriage at 14 weeks, it was devastating. We were so excited, had the nursery started and were dreaming of meeting our baby. I closed the door to the nursery, cried a lot of tears and tried again right away. Almost 1 year later I had our beautiful daughter Katie. I fell in love so deep I had no idea it was possible and I wanted to experience it again. When Katie was 10 months old we conceived again and we were thrilled. After an anxious pregnancy with Katie I was able to let go and enjoy, thinking we’d had our rough time and were now in the clear. For 26.5 weeks I was blissfully ignorant, and enjoyed my pregnancy. February 3, 2008 everything changed. I had some cramping and spotting, and couldn’t remember the last time I had felt babe move. I called my midwife and we met her at the hospital. I remember saying to Bryan “what will we do if they put me on bed rest”. I was in denial; I kept convincing myself that I felt the baby moving and everything would be ok.

 

 

 

Katie and Mommy

 

Many things happened over the next several hours, some things were very traumatic but the outcome was unchangeable, our daughter had died. I was crushed in every way possible. I had never known this kind of pain. I knew what it meant to hold my child in my arms, see her look at me, know me as her mother, and all that came after that. Mostly I knew the love, and that love had been growing for 26.5 weeks already and it was fierce. I was never going to get to do any of the things I had looked forward to. Two days later I gave birth to our 1lb 10oz baby girl and she was beautiful, but not in the ways a parent dreams about. It was obvious that there was something “wrong”, and testing confirmed it – our angel had Turner Syndrome. Turner Syndrome occurs when females have only 1 X chromosome, instead of the usual 2. Males have 1 X and 1 Y chromosome. Like other genetic abnormalities people with Turners can live long beautiful lives, but it also predisposes them to hosts of health issues. For Gabi there could not have been any other outcome as her “condition” could not support life. Had she been born alive the time we would have had with her would have been very brief. We had chosen not to have ultrasounds in our pregnancy, had we had any we would have known she was not developing normally, and may even have been advised to terminate the pregnancy.

 

 

 

Gabbi’s footprints

 
 

I feel we made the right choice, but sometimes I wonder if we were cowards, if we weren’t brave enough to make the decisions that would have been put to us….that it was just easier to leave it up to God. When Krista shared their initial testing results with us my heart just broke for them. I wished she wasn’t living the nightmare I had feared and avoided. I wasn’t sure how to support her; I knew what it meant to have a baby die but nothing about what she was dealing with. Shockingly though a part of me was jealous, and still is…why, because she gets to hold and raise her daughter. Talking with her made me question our decisions, ask “what if”? I wished I could be as brave as her. And I felt ashamed because I would be lying if I didn’t admit I am at times relieved that I am not raising a child with special needs, maybe God felt we weren’t strong enough to do so. Mostly though I do stand by our decisions, as our outcome wouldn’t have changed…maybe I would have gotten to gaze into her eyes as she looked back at me, maybe I could have told her I loved her and she would have heard it, but at what cost to us all?  

 

 

Gabi's candle

 

 

It will be six years in February since Gabi left us, and at times it hurts as much as the days everything was happening. I have 4 beautiful, healthy children whom I wouldn’t give up for the world, but I also would give anything to raise Gabrielle, special needs or not. Her conception and death may have been just a “series of events” in our lives but the impact she has had on us is forever. My husband always says that time doesn’t heal, it just gives you distance and perspective. That is certainly our experience. I used to adamantly answer that I was the mother of X number of children and include Gabi and our other lost baby in that number. At some point I gained some perspective, I didn’t have to mention then in every conversation to ensure they weren’t forgotten, and began replying with “X number of children at home”. I talk about Gabi very openly and if you come into our home she is there – her candle, with her name on it sits in our living room, her photograph and urn are in our bedroom. As a mental health nurse I see everyday the impact that trauma has on people, and how it affects them, losing children is traumatic. We need to support each other as women and mothers in all the trials of our lives, whether it is losing a baby, at any point in pregnancy, or raising a child with special needs, or just having a bad day. Celebrating the fun and happy times is the easy part…anyone can do that…not anyone can listen when we cry in pain, grief or frustration. Thank you for “awareness” months and days, and for people like Krista trying to bring awareness on a daily basis by sharing her story. And thank you for reading my story. Much Love, Chrissy