22 March 2015

You're Gay AND You Adopted A Child With Down Syndrome?

There's this girl Holly, I consider her my friend. She has a wife, Alex, who I also consider my friend, although we are not Facebook buddies yet. :)
A year and a half ago, they decided that it was time to start a family. As they filled out their adoption forms, they got to that little box that asked if they would consider adopting a child with Down syndrome. That little box got one big tick. It was meant to be, this plan had actually been in the works for a very long time; this was their destiny. A baby with Down syndrome would be a blessing. A baby with Down syndrome would be a beautiful gift, a welcomed addition to their family.

BUT WAIT!!! You are gay!

Recently, Holly was approached by ABC Online and asked if she would be willing to share their story. This was their chance to show the world that adoption is giving a family the chance to raise a child. This gives families the chance to love unconditionally and with a love so deep and true. This gives families the opportunity to save a life, to care for a child who would otherwise be put through our system.

“Whether your children are yours through biology or adoption, they are yours through love.” - Sadia Rebecca Rodriguez

“We loved you before we knew you…even when there was just HOPE for you – we loved you.” - Unknown

“Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” – Oprah Winfrey

BUT WAIT! You are gay!

As I read the article, my heart swelled for Holly, Alex and Jaxson. It was beautifully written, it was touching and filled with love. The article ended with "He is our perfection. And he has Down syndrome."
Such a wonderful ending to a beautiful story.

I continued reading.

"Because there is a constant glorification that it's okay for a child to be raised without a mother and a father - and it's not okay. Children need both a mother and father to thrive. Other arrangements should not be encouraged or glorified."

"Drown all three of them..."

"They're angry, "in-your-face" types who needed to top simply being a lesbian couple in order to compete in the "more accepting than thou" crowd.
I just hope the little boy is treated well and doesn't suffer from being employed as a prop."

"Reminds me of dog parks in the city where all the hipsters hang out and try to one up each other on who's adopted mutt was the most destitute prior to being adopted."

"Also reminds me of the old Modern Family episode where the gay couple tries to get their adopted Asian daughter into some elite, selective preschool. They're thinking it's a lock because they're gay AND they adopted foreign, and then they see a lesbian couple roll up with one in a wheelchair and an African baby for the next interview.
Lesbian wheelchair couple with an African kicker.....how can you beat that??" I lolled, that was a funny."

"I don't understand, why did they adopt and not just have a child naturally?"

"The child's physical limitations are nothing compared to the unnecessary emotional damages of being raised by two mommies and no father. These two are selfish people."

Not too long ago, a lady from a religious group showed up at my door. Although I was polite and took part in the discussion about God, I don't agree with others selling their religion. It bothers me. I told her that I was a catholic school teacher for ten years. This did nothing to dissuade her. She continued to sell her religion. She asked me if I read the scriptures and if she thought that our world was in danger, would it come to an abrupt end.
I remember looking at her and feeling confused by her comments. I recall sitting in religion class with my students. I clearly remember telling them to be a good person to others. Be kind to others. This is what God wants from all of us.
I talked to the lady at the door about Adele. She wasn't very responsive. She talked about her scriptures. I stopped her. I told her that my friends Holly and Alex, who are gay, adopted a child with Down syndrome. His name is Jaxson. She took a step back. I told her that this adorable miracle has been welcomed into the most loving and beautiful home. I told her that all God wants is for us to be good to one another. Be kind to one another. She left.

As I read the comments under Holly's article, I was disgusted and appalled by the lack of support, education and was wondering how others can be so ignorant.
"A family should only consist of a mother and father." I have been in many homes; homes that are filled with hate, abuse and neglect, but there was a mother and a father. I guess this is ok. A child will thrive in an unhealthy home because there is a mother and a father. A child will find their way and succeed in an unsafe home because there is a mother and a father.

Jaxson would do better in foster care? When you read Holly's blog, when you look at pictures, when you hear about the trips; you know that this child could not have possibly been placed in a better home. I know that Holly and Alex focused on the positive and supportive comments, but it's difficult to look past those who lack knowledge and awareness. It's hurtful.

Two wonderful women adopted a boy with Down syndrome. Two beautiful women opened up their home to a boy with Down syndrome. Two women have filled their home with love, respect and joy.

The definition of a family:
  1. a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not
  2. a social unit consisting of one or more adults together with the children they care for
Where does is say that you must have a mother and a father?

A family is a unit where children are cared for, loved, they feel safe and respected. A family is any sexual orientation, any race, any religion, any socio-economic status.

As I travel on this journey with Adele, I have met some incredible people. I have been fortunate enough to become friends with Holly and Alex. Shame on those whose views are clouded by ignorance and a lack of education. Shame on those who can't see that loves comes in all forms. Love is love. The love that surrounds Jaxson is overwhelmingly perfect.

I never wanted to stoop to the low levels of those who wrote the above comments, BUT.....
I just wanted to end this post with something that I told Holly last night.

Why are some people so weird and unhealthy and unhappy and assholes and rude and disrespectful? Why oh why? Don't judge others. Take the time to learn about their journey. Be kind.




  1. Perfectly said!!! I think he's a lucky little man.

  2. I follow her on Instagram & read her blog. That sweet little boy is definitely not lacking in the LOVE department!! And really, isn't that what matters? So sad to see those hurtful comments, it breaks my heart.

    1. That's exactly what matters. Glad that you are following their journey. Xo

  3. who and if that family was even fit to raise this child. Financial compensations were paid out and the only thing that concerned the state that the parents would not use funds for alcohol. learn more