21 September 2014
4 things that a mom needs to hear
4 things that a mom needs to hear
Thank you. I think back to the days when my sister and I were younger. My mom worked full-time, took care of the house, did all of the chores, got us to school, made lunches every night for the whole family, walked the dog, tucked us in at night, bought us clothes, had dinner on the table by 5:00pm every day, did all of the laundry. The list goes on. What did my mom want to hear? All she needs to hear is "THANK YOU MOM."
I appreciate you. Moms work tirelessly and without complaining. They carpool, they take the kids to soccer, hockey, dance, ballet, lacrosse. Moms go to all of your practices, they cheer you on even when you are the weakest player on the team. They tell you just how proud they are of you when you walk off the field. They hug you when you lose the game. They put band-aids on your cuts and scrapes. They hold your hand and tell you that you will be ok. They cry with you when things aren't going well at school. They stand up for you. They comfort you when you need a shoulder to cry on. They are your biggest fan. All she needs to hear is "I APPRECIATE YOU MOM."
You're pretty. You've worn the same pair of Lulus for the past three days and your thighs are rubbing and you have pilling in between your legs. Your hair is pulled back in a ponytail and you haven't put any makeup on your face in months. You haven't shaved your legs in weeks, possibly months, except for the one day that you had nothing else to wear except for the capris pants that are rolled up into a ball at the back of your closet, so that day, you shaved up to the pant line, four inches up from your ankle. You haven't plucked your eyebrows in a year and by now, you have just given up. Bushy is in?!?! You have gained 15 pounds since the kids returned to school, because you keep hitting the drive-thru on your way to run errands for your kids. All she needs to hear is "YOU'RE PRETTY MOM."
You're an amazing cook. You have made the same meal twice in a week, forgot some ingredients in one of your dishes, failed at attempting a new meal, forget the veggies twice in a row, got KFC on your way home because you need to have everybody fed and watered before soccer practice at 6:00pm, a baseball game at 7:00pm and ballet for the youngest at 6:30pm. Wait!! How do you manage to be at three different extracurricular activities all around the same time? You gave your children Lunchables three days in a row and you aren't even feeling guilty. You promise to make up for it at dinner time....a nice roasted chicken with veggies and potatoes....but wait, that will have to be next week, because your husband has a work function and you need to find a babysitter. I guess it's pizza night. All she needs to hear is "YOU'RE AN AMAZING COOK."
4 things a wife needs to hear
You're beautiful. See You're pretty with the added.....although you have decided that womanscaping is no longer needed because you have been married for so many years and you are sure that your husband couldn't care a less what it looks like. You have neglected some personal grooming and you feel awful about it and it makes you feel less sexy, but you only have 5 minutes allotted for shower time in the morning, because your children will destroy the house and harm each other. All she needs to hear is "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL."
I love you. Although there are days when things suck and she infuriates you, her every move, her nagging and complaining, her unshaved legs, her lack of creativity in the kitchen, her monthly rollercoaster ride, she managed to play, care for, feed, love and take care of your children. She had your home cleaned and organized for when you walked in the door and she promised to make up for it later that night, although, you know that she will be fast asleep by the time you shower and crawl into bed next to her. All she needs to hear is "I LOVE YOU."
Thank you for being an awesome mom. Although there are days when you feel like you have completely failed as a mom and the thought of driving off of a bridge is tempting, you still came out on top. Your children got fed and watered, they learned a new colour and shape, they took naps, they got snuggles from you, they smiled, they laughed. When your husband walks in the door from work, you hand the kids over and take a deep breath. You think about how tomorrow can be better and how you need to find new ways to deal with your lack of patience. All she needs to hear is "THANK YOU FOR BEING AN AWESOME MOM."
I want you for the rest of my life. A house, kids, activities, lack of patience, lack of romance and kissing, frustration, lack of excitement, too busy, too much to get done, forget about each other's needs, anger, exhaustion, money is tight, bills, boredom. There is a long list of negatives when you are married. There are days when you want to walk out the door because it must be better somewhere else. There are days when you feel so overwhelmed by life that you wonder what you were ever thinking, how could married life work? This is so much work and I don't know if I have it in me to keep going. You then have a moment, where you stop and look around at all that you have, your children, your husband, the man who chose you as his wife. He walks in the door and hugs you and reassures you that you can do this together. He tells you "I WANT YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE."
** The past few days have been difficult for the family and for a dear friend. My mom's best friend was diagnosed with cancer in March and was given 4-6 weeks to live. She fought hard and continued to be an amazing wife, mother and friend. She always had a smile on her face, a joke, a silly story to share. She was a remarkable woman.
I was fortunate enough to have spent several hours with her and her husband on Friday at the hospice. I sat beside her bed for seven hours, rubbed her hand, rubbed her arm, rubbed her face and her head. I told her stories, I showed her pictures of the girls. I told her how much I loved her and how I need for her to watch over Brinley and Adele.
I watched the man who had been married to his loving wife for 44 years. I watched how he caressed her hand, her cheek. I listened to his loving words, trying to get in every thought and emotion before it was her time, knowing that she had only a few hours left. He told her that he was her hubby and she was his wifey. He told her how much he loved her and how he would always love her, until forever. He kissed her lips. He kissed her hand. He kissed her cheek. He had to say goodbye to the woman who he had promised to spend the rest of his life with, forever and ever. He said good bye to his best friend, his partner, his love.
Remember to love with all of your heart.