6 August 2014

Don't Wear a Bikini....

Today's post has nothing to do with an extra chromosome, it has to do with a couple of posts that have gone viral in the past week.

Both women wrote about their bodies and how they have been shamed lately by others. My opinion....

One woman was hurt by comments that were made to her by others at the beach, hurtful and unkind words. Women have babies and some of us women get stretch marks. Some women call them stripes that they have earned and they are proud of them. They show them off by wearing tube tops and bikinis and then when the world comes and attacks them, they get offended and write blog posts about how insensitive society was towards their bodies and their stretch marks. Is it fair to be verbally attacked by others, no, it's not fair. Do I think you made a poor choice in what you wore to the beach? Yes, I do. Did it warrant a verbal lickin'? No, so don't attack me! These are my thoughts.

I didn't have stretch marks on my belly before I got pregnant with Brinley. It was all smooth, beautiful and at one point, fairly flat.
At 7 weeks, yes 7 weeks, my first stretch mark appeared. I went into a state of shock and knew that eventually, my whole tummy would look like a Snakes and Ladders board game.
It took almost the entire pregnancy, but my god, it happened and I didn't like it, I actually detested it and couldn't stand looking at them. Of course, James didn't care or he just knew better then to actually say something. :)
The stretch marks did not go away.
I got pregnant with Adele and more appeared. My body didn't have enough time to get back to its 'normal' state after Brinley, so now, I had stretch marks and dangly, dog jowl type skin. Did I love knowing that I was growing a baby inside of me? Absolutely. Did I love what pregnancy did to my body? Not one bit! 

Ok, my point...would I go out into the world and show off my dangly, flabby skin that is covered in stretch marks, because dammit, I grew two babies in there and I deserve to show it off. I am proud! I love my body. It is a temple.
Hell no!
It's not appropriate and nobody wants to see it. Should you be damn proud that you housed your five babies, your three babies? Absolutely! Be proud!
Do you need to wear a bikini and show off your stretch marks to the whole beach? To the whole pool area? No, you don't.
There is a reason why designers make one piece swimsuits. There is a reason why there are bandeaus and skirt type bathing suits, so that us women who have the stretch marks and dangly skin, can go to the beach and feel semi comfortable.

When you go to the beach and you are not dressed appropriately for your body type, you will get judged. Do I think it's harsh for others to criticize you and make you feel less worthy? Yes, it is harsh and it's not ok, but for the love of the lord, don't run home and write a blog post/letter about how you were so incredibly criticized and have a boo hoo moment when all you had to do was cover up a bit. Yes, it's important to be confident and to be proud of our bodies and wear clothes that compliment our figures, but seriously, when you put your string bikini on and look in the mirror and see highway lines all across your abdomen, do you not think that maybe you could have made a better choice in bathing suit designs?? We are a judgemental society, it's sad and unfortunate and I wish that we could all just get along, but this is not the case.

I believe that your body should be shown off at home. If you want to do jumping jacks for your husband at bed time, go ahead. If you want to play a board game on your stretch marks that you are so proud of, go nuts. Your body is for you and your partner. If you want to wear your string bikini in your backyard, go ahead. If you have company over and you wear your string bikini, go ahead. It is your house, but when you go out in public, as I said before, some people are cruel and mean and will attack you, save yourself the upset and embarrassment and cover up! You can still be sexy and confident while dressing for your body type.

I am getting tired of reading posts by women who think that this world just isn't fair. They can't post pictures of themselves on Instagram showing their weight loss, because they are told that it's inappropriate. I think it is inappropriate when you post a picture of yourself in your bra and underwear and share it with the world, whether you are skinny or overweight, but you get all pissed off when Instagram removes your photos but not the skinny girl's photos, then you blame it on the fact that you are fat. I'm pretty sure that Instagram has removed trashy pictures of the skinny girls too, but you get on a rampage about how unfair life is and that you are going to close your account because the world is against you.
Why do you need to share those pictures? You know what? Good on you for taking the steps to lose weight and to be a healthier you, but I don't need to see your week by week pictures. Save it for your partner, your spouse.

Social media has become a place filled with hate and criticism and judgemental a-holes. I get it, but I feel that some women are making it harder for others. I saw a video once of a woman who was probably a good 400 pounds, wearing a bikini, running down the street, because she wanted to show the world that she was proud of her body.
You made yourself look like a fool. You are a heart attack waiting to happen. Your cholesterol levels are through the roof. How is this ok? How does this make women look good? How could you possibly think that by running down the street, the world is going to look at women differently? More people will respect women after watching your circus act?
It was a sad video and I was embarrassed for you and for your friend who filmed your jog!

When I see a woman dressed in beautiful clothes, it doesn't have to be designer, just nice clothes that compliment your figure, you are showing your confidence, you are telling the world that you have healthy self esteem. There is sexy/classy and then there is sexy/trampy. It's too bad that we, as women have taken social media and turned it into a pornographic, whiny, trashy portal for others to be sucked into.

Don't take this post and dissect it. I am not against women in bikinis. I am not against sexy clothes. I want women to have confidence, whether they are a size 2 or 14. You don't need to be a size 2 to wear a bikini, but use some good judgement.
I am on a weight loss journey of my own right now and working hard to get back to where I feel confident wearing a bathing suit. I share my goals with my friends and they support my journey by offering words of encouragement. Pictures of my body and measurements are not on the internet because I respect my body and I respect myself. The world doesn't need to see me in my bra and underwear, nor would the world like to see me in my bra and underwear. ;)

Make women look good. Be proud of your accomplishments. Love your body and cherish the moments when you were pregnant with your babies. Love your stretch marks if they make you happy. Love the dimples on your thighs because you earned them. Love the flabby skin that you were left with after child birth. Love all of you.......but stop telling the world that you will wear the bikini because you earned it.

Next blog post.....how I feel about Speedos. :)


  1. I always appreciate your straight to the point tell it like it is voice. I'm on my own weight loss journey too but I do not do the pictures! No way. I do share a weekly reflection but it s more looking at how I did mentally with my eating and exercising goals for the week.
    Angela @ Trusting the Journey of Motherhood (formerly known as Time with A & N )

    1. I love the idea of a weekly reflection. Great idea Angela!

  2. OMG! I can't believe you wrote about this! lol...I wouldn't be so brave as to put my opinion out there because it sounds mean, but now that you have I will say I totally agree with you! When I saw that story on the news about that woman being laughed at at the beach my first thought was, teenagers are assholes...My second thought was, why would someone ever put themselves in that situation! Why *must* you wear a bikini? And why forward this story onto the news station? How is this even news worthy?

    I am sooo looking forward to your speedo post! Ha ;)

    1. My sister sent me a message this morning, a dozen ladies, a whole dozen, got together and put on bikinis to show support. This isn't the way to go about it. I don't understand. It's about respecting yourself, respect your body, it's not about that you housed 10 kids and you deserve to show it off. Some women need to figure this out....
      I love your feedback JC! You just do a post! Maybe we should do a Speedo/bikini post together!!!

  3. I always enjoy your blogs, Krista. You are right...women can show their confidence by dressing tastefully...if your confidence comes from inside you would dress appropriately anyways...that is a fact!
    You should write a book my friend!!! ��

    1. Love what you just said Laura! Your confidence comes from inside....some women just don't get it. Thank you for being so kind and supportive. I'm pretty sure that I won't please em all with this post. ;)

  4. I generally am right on point with you Krista, but I have to say that for the first time I vehemently disagree with you. I think the world needs to see more of what real women's bodies. So, although I don't agree today, I still really appreciate your candor.

    1. I think you may have missed my point....it's not about wearing parkas and snow suits, it's about dressing appropriately and showing the world that you are confident without having to bear it all. The other point that I was trying to make, was that it's about your health. What defines a real woman's body? Stretch marks and flabby skin? I don't think that there is a true definition. I don't want my daughter's to prance around showing off their tatas to the world, because they are proud of them, I want them to have respect for their bodies and let others know that they don't need to show it all off. . A dozen women protested after the email went viral, by wearing bikinis in downtown Edmonton. How is this positive? How is this making women look good? It doesn't. I want my girls to feel comfortable in their skin and I don't expect them to be a size 2, but I expect them to dress appropriately and to be healthy. I think supermodels should not be a size 0, they should have 'real women' in magazines and on runways. Marilyn Monroe was beautiful and a size 14. She wore bathing suits that complemented her body. The world was in awe. You saw her figure and she made women proud. Look at what women are wearing now in the industry and what is it teaching our girls. I think part of me trying to be funny in the post has clouded my whole point. I'm not too sure. I hope that I have made sense. It's about self-respect, dressing for your body type and being healthy.

  5. I am going to start by saying that I am not trying to be rude or disrepectful. I am writing this to give perspective and to remind you that without people fighting for change, there will never be any change. There was a time in history when black people weren't allowed on the same beaches because of their skin colour. A time when people were talked about and pointed at if they took their child with downs syndrome out in public. None of it is right or fair. Every person has a right to be out in public and every person has a right to make decisions about their bodies and the things that they cannot change. I for one will not be out showing off my stretch marks any time soon, but I will stand behind those that stare their own fears and society in the face and fight for change!

    1. Jamie, I didn't take it as rude or disrespectful at all. :) If you read my comment above that I made to FIEND, you will see what point I was trying to make. Does there need to be change in the world? Of course we need to see change, with so many things. This is why I write the blog, this is why I have Adele's Facebook page, this is why I am a teacher. I am all about wanting a peaceful and happy world. Trust me. There is fighting for change and then there is unhealthy and being respectful of your own body. I hope this makes sense. Krista