TODAY, I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A MOM.....

 



This was a difficult post to write...

Today, I didn't want to be a mom. I hit that wall, big time. I wanted to get in the car and drive, all alone, to anywhere but High River. I needed out.
I had no patience. Not one ounce. It was a tough day with a one year old and a two year old.

I didn't want to be a mom and part of me missed the times when I only had to worry about myself and my own needs. Today, I didn't want to take care of anybody.
I didn't want to get up and out of bed and....

1) Get Brinley her milk
2) Get Adele her bottle
3) Get Brinley's breakfast
4) Give Adele cereal
5) Change diapers
6) Repeat all over again for lunch

I sent James a text and told him that I was spent and exhausted and done. I think that as a mom, you only have so much in you to give, before you need to fuel up again, get more energy, find more patience. I don't live a balanced lifestyle, at all. I take care of my kids and family and forget to take care of me. This is why I hit that wall today.
I honestly wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. Adele is needy. I know that everybody just wants to give her snuggles and love her to pieces, but when you walk away to do something, she cries and it makes it difficult to get things done. It gets frustrating and I lose my patience.
Brinley also has needs and jealousy sets in when her sister is getting the attention. Having two babies so close together in age, is hard. They are still babies and they still need their mommy, but how do you do it, when there is only one of you and two of them??

My energy is drained and the monotony of the day is getting to me. I love putting the girls down for naps at the same times because it gives me time to myself and it gives me time to get things done. Brinley isn't always necessarily tired by 11:00am, so she stays up with me. No time for me.

Adele will go down by 10:30am and Brinley, lately, has been going down at 1:30pm. This is not conducive to going out in the afternoon and it also doesn't give this momma any alone time, the time that I need to breathe and focus on my goals for the day.

I remember the days when I got up, went to work, came home, cooked dinner, sat on the couch and watched TV, headed to bed and life was calm. I just did my own thing.
Even going farther back, I remember when I went to work, went out with friends, had dinner and drinks, planned week long vacations and talked about me. I talked about the music that I loved, the movies that I just recently watched, the trip to Paris, London and Rome, the week long vacation in Mexico, where I drank and ate and loved my beach chair.
I remember these days, when it was all about me, and today, I missed it.

You can call me a jerk but this is how I feel.

My life has become slightly boring and monotonous. I need to rejuvenate. I need to find activities just for me. I need to hire a babysitter to come in once a week, during the day, so I can go out and refresh and become whole again.
Our schedule is usually fairly busy, but it is busy with my children. It is play dates and appointments and feedings and bum changes and naps and schedules.
It's difficult to change things up when it's so important to have routine with children. They thrive on routine. I am a teacher, I love routine, but lately, routine is taking me down, it is my enemy.

I have two girls who don't eat the same food. That is difficult.
I have two girls who nap at different times. That is difficult.
I have this baby who needs extra care. That is difficult.

I am a stay at home mom. That is my title. My title is no longer 'TEACHER', my title is a mom. Just a mom. I need more.

I need to find myself again. I don't need the single life. I don't need a life without children. I don't want a life without children. I don't want a life without James.
I want a balanced life. I want to figure out what my mind and body need in order to get back to where I need to be, so that I can be the best wife and mother to James and the girls.

I need a way to keep my energy and my patience level up with my children, all while taking care of the house, my husband and my own needs. I am only 37 years old. I am young. I need to find me again.

I am going to find me again.

 

Adele's Over the Rainbow Baskets - Down syndrome LOVIN

Dear Jennifer O'Brien

Dear Jennifer,

Your family has been on my mind constantly for the past two weeks. I have been grieving right along side of you, however, I have no idea what you are feeling and the emotions that you are experiencing.
I have felt pain. I have felt anguish. I have felt sadness. I have felt bitterness. I have felt rage. My heart has hurt and I have cried tears of sorrow for your family.

I don't know how to say that I am sorry for what you have been experiencing. I don't know how to say that my heart feels such pain and sadness and anguish for you. I can not even fathom the courage that it takes for you get out of bed in the morning and how you are able to get into bed at night not knowing about the well being of your son and family. I am sure that your nights have been long and your days just blend in with one another.

The whole city is in pain for you. The whole province has been grieving and praying for the safe return of your family. The world has watched your story on the news, not knowing what they could do to ease your pain.

I am a mother. I have two beautiful girls and I have not intentionally put myself in your shoes, but it enters my mind, what would I do in your situation? How would I cope? How would I carry on? How would I be able to continue breathing, not knowing the whereabouts of my child? I don't know that I could do it. I don't know how I could still be a mother to my other child and in your case, how do you pull together the strength every day to be a mother to your other children. For me, this is just a scenario, for you, this is real. I am sorry.

Today was the day that we all found out the news. We found out that your child and family will not be returning home. I know that my words will not bring you comfort, my words will not ease your pain, my words will not bring back your beautiful son and family.

My heart broke today and I wept. I wept for you and your husband and your children. I wept for your extended family. I wept because I don't know how you could possibly heal from such tragedy. I wept for myself, although this sounds selfish, I thought of my children and my parents. I wept for all the other parents who have experienced the loss of a child.

You have heavy days ahead and many mountains that you will have to climb. I am so sorry. I am so incredibly sorry. You are not alone. You will never be alone. You have so many people who will carry you through this hardship and tragedy. We will all support you. We will all pray for your healing. We will come together as a community and try to re-build your strength and your faith in humanity.
My prayers are for you.

Sincerely,
Krista

Where's the DAMN spare key??? :)

We are back from holidays. We spent a week in Radium BC and loved it. Brinley owned the pool and Adele couldn't get enough of the pool snuggles with mommy, under the umbrella on our lounging chair. So relaxing, co calm and so perfect.
The trip was smooth sailing except for the one day when mommy and daddy almost lost their minds. That was the day when Brinley locked herself in the trailer. Yup, locked herself in, with all of the keys. On one of the days that it would reach 35 degrees Celsius.
It went a little something like this.....

It was nap time for Brinley, so I took her into the trailer, put her down, turned on the spa channel and I left. Brinley immediately got up and came to the door, I opened it and ushered her back to bed.
All good.
She got up again and instead of opening the door, she locked it. I didn't quite realize that the door was locked until I went to open the door so that I could put her back to bed.
Pulled on the handle and yup, Brinley locked the damn door.
James and I were trying to explain to her how to unlock the door and we must have said around twenty times to push on the red lever. She was hysterical and thought that she was in trouble. Every time I told her to unlock the door, she started to cry again. She was getting more upset and James and I were started to get a little worried.
I had turned the air conditioner off when I put her down because it wasn't that warm outside yet, I figured we had another couple of hours before it needed to be turned back on. I cooled down the trailer before nap time so it was quieter and she could hear her spa music. No lack of spoiling!
The neighbours heard us yelling through the door and after a few minutes, they both came over to see if they could help out.

We were trying to come up with a plan. James decided that he would call my parents to see if they had a key hidden somewhere. I mean, come on, everybody hides keys, in flower pots, under decks, under a brick, somewhere, except for my parents.
Brinley decided to go take a nap. She had given up and was tired from crying and from thinking that we had locked the door, we were keeping her inside the trailer.
Another set of neighbours came over. It was starting to get hotter outside and this is when I started to get concerned about the temperature inside the trailer. It got hot fast and I realized that we didn't have two hours, the trailer would be getting warm fairly quickly. I mean, I knew that she would be ok, and if we were that concerned, we would smash a window.
One of our neighbours, Karen, went to all of trailers and cabins and asked for each family to come with their keys to see if one worked.
Key after key after key and nothing worked.

Smile Adele!

 

In the meantime, I was trying to google locksmiths in the area. I couldn't find anything. One of the neighbours, Bob, pulled out his trusty AMA card and called to see if we could get a locksmith out immediately.
The locksmith in the area was currently out of the area and there was no cell phone coverage. They would call back within 10 minutes.
I could do ten minutes.
As long as Brinley stayed sleeping, I was doing ok.
A couple of the neighbours asked how I was doing and when I was asked, I was wondering if I should be panicking. Should I be crying? Should I break a window? Should I bang on the door and slide my hand down the glass in despair? Maybe I needed to be a little more emotional? Maybe I am too calm? Maybe I should call the fire department and have them axe down the door???? No, my dad will kill me. I will stay calm and drink heavily later! :)

James and I don't do well when chaos hits. We lose our patience quickly with each other and get snappy. We get irrational and say things that are silly. We need to work on how we deal with stressful situations. It obviously doesn't work when you aren't supporting each other.

Best swimming tube!

The manager heard about our situation and came over to help. He told us that he had a friend ten minutes away who is a locksmith. OK! DONE!
It took him around twenty minutes to get to the campground and just as he pulled up, Brinley woke up.
The neighbour and James had removed the screen in one of the windows, in hopes that James could get Brinley to grab the trailer keys and bring them to him.
She woke up and was a little teary. James told her to bring him the keys and she listened. She was rescued!
I opened the door and it stunk like poop in the trailer.
Poor little peanut had shit her diaper, probably out of fear. Glad we haven't started potty training yet. That could have been a whole different problem. :)
We still paid the locksmith, although I thought that maybe he would have given us a deal. There was no sympathy. Oh well!

The trailer tragedy turned out ok. Toddler was rescued, no injuries, no extreme heat, no therapy needed, hopefully.

Daddy snuggles :)

 

We took the girls to the pool after the eventful morning. While we were at the pool, there were two little boys playing. They were around six and seven years old. They were constantly arguing, hitting each other and using words like; crap and hell. They were used in a way that I know this is how they speak at home.
I was a little surprised but thought that it could be worse.
What came next? The seven year old told his brother to FUCK OFF! Yup, that's what he said, loud and clear and it just flowed too easily out of his mouth.
I gasped, loudly.
Then I said "dear lord!"
This is when the mom decided to get up off of her chair and go take her son out of the pool. She didn't move immediately after he said it, she moved after I gasped and made a comment.

A lot of growing happens in two years!

She yanked him out of the pool and went into the bathroom and actually washed his mouth out with soap. A mouthful of liquid soap, a verbal licking and told him he wouldn't be going back in the pool for the remainder of the day.
Within twenty minutes, he was back in the pool.
She went up to James later on and told him that she has no idea where he gets that from, that language, but mentioned to somebody else earlier on, that she sometimes says it while driving.
I am far from perfect and I have said things that I have not been proud of, but let me tell you, if my child came out with that kind of language, there would be hell to pay. It's not ok, it's not right and it's trashy. But wait, would I give my child a whoopin' or would I re-evaluate how we speak at home? They are learning this from somewhere and my guess is it involves how you are parenting your child.
It made me realize just how much our children soak in our actions and our words. They are listening to every word that comes out of ours mouths. They listen to our arguments with our spouses. They listen when we are talking on the phone. They are always listening.
A seven year old should not be dropping F bombs and saying it without any hesitation. The whole week that we were at the pool, it was constant, the boys were always in trouble for saying something, for doing something wrong, for bullying each other. I was getting annoyed.

Driving back home :)

So, this week....I have a goal and I hope you will give it a try. Be conscious about what comes out of your mouth. Be conscious of your actions towards others. Be conscious of your words and behaviour when in front of your children. Be a good role model. Be somebody who your child looks up to and who respects.

Children are great imitators.
So give them something great to imitate.
~Anonymous~

Adele's Over the Rainbow Baskets - Down syndrome LOVIN

I See Down syndrome...

We had a busy and fun week! I love busy, I love getting the girls out and having a good time.

I know that summer holidays have just started but I am a planner! I found this link and think that Gillian has some great advice for teachers. It's a great read! Bring this to your child's school. Be pro-active. Be your child's strongest advocate.

10 Things Teachers Should Know About DOWN SYNDROME

Things are going pretty well right now. Adele's health has been great and she is getting bigger and stronger each and every day. We have another vision appointment next month and I'm pretty sure that she will need glasses. Her right eye crosses a lot and could use some strengthening. I'm ok with glasses, that is minor and besides, she will look even cuter. :)

We also have to go for her 12 month blood work in the near future. I'm not a fan and I know that they check for certain diseases. CANCER is one of those diseases. It worries me a lot. Our little ones have a greater chance of getting cancer, it's not fair and it's not right and I am not ok with it. I figure that if I throw it out there, we will be safe. Say a little prayer for us please.

I don't know if what I am about to write is wrong or if it will sound horrible.....

When I look at Adele, I see Down syndrome. I don't see Down syndrome in a bad way, so don't take it like that....it's hard to explain. I see the features and as she gets older, I see the features of Down syndrome become more prominent. Her eyes are shaped like almonds and the bridge of her nose is pretty flat. She doesn't have all of the features though, her pinky is straight, there isn't a big gap between her toes and the palm of her hand has more than one line. I think because she doesn't have all of the features, this is why the doctors questioned whether or not she actually had Down syndrome. I reassured them that the non-invasive testing and the amnio both came back positive. Adele has Down syndrome. Of course I see my child, of course I see Adele, I see a very beautiful little girl, but I see Down syndrome and sometimes I am reminded of the journey that lies ahead. I hope that this makes sense?!?!?

On the other hand.....

Sometimes, I am actually more relaxed with Adele's pace of development. I know that things will be a little slower. I know that she will speak later. I know that she will crawl later. I know that she will walk later. I know all of this and it actually puts me at ease. It's bizarre. It slows me down a bit and allows me to watch Adele develop at her own pace. It allows me to savour the milestones. It stressed me out before, but lately, I seem to just take it all in. I tell ya, this journey makes a momma overanalyze too many things.
I find that with Brinley, I stress more. She is my typical child, she is the one who should have crawled at 9 months, who should have walked at 12 months, who will speak at 2 years old. The path is set for Brinley. According to the charts and books and manuals, she will achieve all of these milestones at a certain time. There is a very small window. I don't know why we can't just let our children develop at their own speed and do things when they are ready. Brinley started crawling at 10 months, this was late. Brinley started walking at 14 months, this was late. Brinley does not say the 100 words that she should be saying by 2 years old. I see the posters when I take Adele to OT.
"Your child should be saying at least 100 words by 24 months. Please check with your doctor if your child should require speech therapy."

Mastering this whole sippy cup thing! :)

I spoke with Adele's pediatrician and asked if I should be concerned about Brinley's development. She put my mind at ease. She has watched Brinley. She has listened to Brinley speak. Brinley is coming out with new words daily. She told me to wait until she is 3 years old before I should show real concern.
I know that her comprehension level is amazing and she follows directions. Again, I need to savour all of the moments and enjoy this time, before long, she is going to be bossing me around and telling me how we should run this house. She kind of already does.....God help me!

I said the most ridiculous thing the other day. A girl that I had just met asked me if Adele looked like her sister. She didn't know that Adele has Down syndrome. I kind of paused, thought about it and said that Brinley's sister has Down syndrome.
Really? I actually said this to another person.
What was I thinking? It was like I was caught off guard. I have never been asked that question before and I didn't know how to answer it.
I should have said something else, but instead, I said that Adele has Down syndrome. I should have said that I wasn't too sure if they looked alike and shown her a picture of Adele and she could judge for herself.
I then realized that what I said was not the best answer. I corrected myself and said that just because she has Down syndrome, it doesn't mean that she doesn't look like her sister, Brinley. She understood.

I felt like an idiot. I just said something that others say who have no clue and it pisses me off. I just did it. I just wrote about this in my last post. SIGH
Both girls looked like their daddy when they were babies and now they are transforming into their own little identities. We made both girls (not in a factory) and of course they are going to look like us. I know that we are at the beginning of this journey and I have so much to learn. I will say things that won't come out the way they should and I will make mistakes. I follow a couple of other blogs, they have older children and they keep me in check. :)

Adele's Facebook page is doing stellar and the donations continue to come in. We are so grateful and thankful for all of the love and support. Thank you! Have a wonderful Sunday! xo

Adele's Over the Rainbow Baskets - Down syndrome LOVIN

THE ABSOLUTE MOST RIDICULOUS THINGS THAT PEOPLE SAY TO PARENTS WHO HAVE A CHILD WITH A BEAUTIFUL GENETIC GIFT.....

It's been a rough few weeks in the Down syndrome world. We have lost three, young and beautiful children.
I wanted to write about one of the little girls, Annie. Sometimes the internet and Facebook drive me nuts and other times, I love what it has done for our family and for others.
Rumours start floating around and I usually jump the gun.
I had read that Annie was denied a heart transplant because she has Down syndrome. I don't know if this is truly accurate information. I have heard many stories in the past few months, where a child was denied a transplant because they have Down syndrome. I have read articles from Canada and from the US, but it seems to be more of an issue in the United States.

My opinion....

I have two children and both girls should receive that exact same medical care and attention. I will not tolerate the medical profession telling me that because Adele has Down syndrome, she is not eligible for any kind of transplant. Adele is a human being, a valued life and she deserves the utmost care and attention, should she need it. She has the right to life, she has the right to be taken care of and should anything ever happen to Adele, she deserves to be taken care of just the same as somebody without Down syndrome.

This truly infuriates me and to be honest, when I first read that a child was denied a transplant because of Down syndrome, I thought it was false. There is no way that because a person has a beautiful ability, they would be denied a transplant.
We, as a community, need to come together and fight this, we need to take a stand. When I say community, I mean the whole world. Every child, every human being, deserves the same medical care.

Playing in the rain!! :)

I understand that if a child with Down syndrome has an underlying medical condition and their body will reject a transplant, I understand why they wouldn't be a candidate. I get it. I know that a person without Down syndrome, who has other medical concerns, would also not be a candidate. I just need to make sure that doctors are not discriminating. I need to know that hospitals are not discriminating. I need to know that every human being will be treated as equals.

James and I are the girls strongest advocates and we will fight for both of them, we will make sure that they are loved equally, respected and that they are viewed by others as equals, I can't stress this enough.

I think that in the future, I am going to write a book.....it will be called;
THE ABSOLUTE MOST RIDICULOUS THINGS THAT PEOPLE SAY TO PARENTS WHO HAVE A CHILD WITH A BEAUTIFUL GENETIC GIFT.
Please feel free to submit your own ridiculous lines.....

- She sure looks like she has a mild case of Down syndrome.
- Her head is so round, she must be mild.
- Kids with Down syndrome are ALWAYS happy.
- I'm so sorry that this happened to your family.
- She looks so normal.
- My uncle's brother's nephew's cousin is autistic, so I know what it's like.
- Why didn't you stop having kids after the first one? WHAT???
- Did this happen because you and your husband are related?
- Wow! How old were you when you had her?
- You are a saint.
- Will you ever have any more children? That's kind of scary!
- Well, I guess it could be worse!
- God has given you a child forever.
- Does she actually look like a family member?
- You sure are handling this well.
- Do her brothers and sisters have a bond?
- Did you actually know when you were pregnant?
- What's wrong with her?
- Did you drink? Smoke? Do drugs during pregnancy?
- Will she always be like that?
- Is it somebody's fault?
- Did it come from your side of the family?
- They don't live very long, do they?
- I guess you won't have grandchildren.
- I'm sure she will get a job, maybe at Wal Mart or something.
- Do you take her out?
- Is her sister handicapped?
- You should feed her more.
- Does she sleep?
- What will happen to her after you die?
- Is the rest of your family ok with this?
- You must be exhausted.
- Ummm....she's so......cute.
- Did you consider adoption?
- Is there a chance that she will outgrow it?
- I guess you can't go on vacations.
- Can I touch her?
- Stare....stare...stare....stare....stare.....

I get that in most instances, it comes from a place of misunderstanding. I love to be the one who explains and educates. I love when people ask questions, I love when I get to explain how our world is, some ups and some downs, but a whole lot of love. The only time that it really bothers me, is when somebody is intentionally hurtful. Some of the above are to make you giggle and have a little chuckle. Before Adele, I know that I would have said some of these, so please take this lightly. I am not bashing. I want others to ask questions, I just have no tolerance for disrespect and unkind comments.

When we try to be a big girl and not take a nap!

A Perfect Extra Chromosome - Awe-Inspiring Miracles

Hip and Cool and Awe-Inspiring.....

The days seem to fly by lately. We haven't really been all that busy and part of me feels like I'm going stir crazy when things aren't as hectic. I don't know if that makes sense. Mornings are for; getting up, getting ready, feedings and naps. We leave our fun stuff for the afternoons.

I've taken the girls to Tommy K Play a few times now and it's a really great place. The first time we went, it wasn't busy, which made Brinley happy. She needs to get familiar with a place and take in her surroundings before she feels comfortable. There were a few kids and once Brinley felt safe, she started to interact with them a little more. It was a fun afternoon, no injuries, no tears, just fun.
I decided to go back again, but this time it was raining out, so I figured that it would be a little busier. It sure was.
We paid, got our bracelets and went to sit down. The only chairs that were available were behind a support beam. I took two chairs, one for the diaper bag and my purse and one for myself, Adele and Brinley. My plan was to snuggle with Adele while keeping Brinley in view. We sat beside the hip moms, the ones with the Peg car seats, the skinny jeans, the coiffed hair, the pretty babies, you know, those moms.

I set Adele down and figured that Brinley would be thirsty....ok, I could leave Adele for a minute, I can see her from the drink counter. I had the clip undone just on her chest but she was still buckled up, so she was secure.
Brinley and I made our way to the counter, I was watching Adele. I could see one of the hip, cool, trendy moms get up and jump over to Adele. AWESOME!!!!
She grabs Adele and starts to walk over towards me.
"Is she your baby?"
Well, I just walked past you, around 30 seconds ago, the one with the car seat (Graco), the diaper bag, the purse, the toddler, you know, me, the one who is sitting beside you?
"Yes, she is mine." I was feeling a little sheepish and neglectful. "Did she arch?"
"Yes, she almost flipped herself out."
I kind of doubted that considering she was still clipped in, unless my child is Houdini! Wouldn't that be cool!!
"Thank you for bringing her to me."
I take Adele and realize that she has a big, stinky dump.
So now, the trendy, hip, cool mom knows that I neglect my children and I don't change their diapers. This is going well.

Wearing red to support the RCMP

I head back with my two children, to our chairs, behind the beam.
Brinley wants me to climb through the tunnels with her and go down the slide. My first thought.....my ass won't fit on the slide and my second thought....I will get stuck in one of the tunnels and trendy, hip, cool mom will have to rescue me. She will call Child Protective Services and my day would soon be ruined. Mind you, if CPS came and took my children, I could go to Starbucks, it is so close, I could have a coffee, check my emails, pretend that I have a quiet and peaceful life. CPS would babysit my children for a few hours, do a background check and realize that I was probably just having an off day. I would be all rested and rejuvenated by the time they returned my children.
Hmmmm.....something to think about. :) (Please know that I am kidding for those of you who don't get my craziness)
Anyways, I had a baby that needed me, so Brinley would have to find some playmates to go through the tunnels with her.

She was more comfortable on the second day and actually went up to several of the kids and had a 'conversation' with them. It was pretty sweet.
The hip, cool, trendy moms would smile at Adele and comment on her cute outfit. I would smile back and continue to eavesdrop on their conversation. Nothing interesting going on, no real gossiping, such a disappointment.

I was trying to keep my eye on Brinley but it was difficult, the damn support beam. I would flip back and forth in my chair, looking like a dork, but whatever, I'm hip too....sometimes.

James showed up after work and climbed through the tunnels with Brinley and went down the slide. I was safe.

We went back to Tommy K Play today. The girls didn't have good naps and I was feeling frustrated and was losing my patience. I wanted to get out. The house was a mess and I didn't care, I needed to get in the car and go somewhere.
After we had been there for a while, one of the moms came up to me and asked if I was Krista. I was worried that I was being served. :)
Her name is Kandis and she reads the blog. She said that she has been reading the blog since the beginning. She got teary as she was talking to me and told me how much she loves it and that she checks every night to see if there is a new post. I got teary too, but a happy teary. How nice that she would come up to me and let me know that she appreciates what I am doing. It was a happy moment.

Brinley, Adele and I went back to our comfy chairs and while sitting there, another beautiful mom came up to me and asked if I was Krista. She told me that she follows Adele's Facebook page.... Adele's Over the Rainbow Baskets - Down syndrome LOVIN' :)
She loves the pictures and keeping up to date on the girls. Shauna told me that her son is autistic and that she can relate to some of the fears and struggles. We are all on our own journeys and it is something to always keep in mind.

I mentioned this in the last post about not being so quick to judge. There was a lady in a full burka today at the play place. All that was showing were her eyes. It is not a familiar site to any of us. Brinley was scared and a bit teary as she has never seen this before. Her little girls would come up to Adele and chat with her and touch her face. I'm ok with this because this is what kids do, they love babies and they love to touch. My first thought was that she probably didn't speak English and then I thought that maybe she wasn't allowed to talk to me. Her husband was there in western clothes, talking on his phone the entire time. I was sure that he made the rules. I thought about my last post and I wasn't going to pre-judge. I asked her how old her girls were and she asked me the same question. She could see Brinley hiding behind me and then she would peek around me to catch a glimpse of something that she didn't quite understand. I told her that Brinley is pretty shy and the kind woman told me that Brinley is probably scared and that she hasn't seen this type of dress before.
She was right.
I asked her how long she has been in Canada and she told me that they have been here for five years and that they came from Pakistan.
She was kind.

LOVE my new pyjamas!! :)

It is so important to me that my children see me as a kind and loving person. We accept people for who they are and we need to get to know others. Ask questions. Don't judge.
It was a really great moment.
Today at the play place, I met three amazing women all on their own journeys.
Take the time to meet people. Take the time to learn about their journeys. Take the time to teach your children that we are all unique. We are all special. We all have a story.

Lastly.....

WORLD PREMIERE!!
Adele's Over the Rainbow Baskets - Down syndrome LOVIN' presents - A Perfect Extra Chromosome - Awe-Inspiring Miracles.

This is a video about inclusion of ALL children, of ALL abilities and ALL walks of life. It is filled with love and acceptance and beauty. Please share this video with the world! Let's go viral!
Thank you to Brian Campbell for creating our video. Many hours and a lot of dedication went into the making of the video. We are forever grateful. My shameless plug for Brian - He is a member of the band Blades of Steel! They are on ITunes and they are pretty awesome.

A Perfect Extra Chromosome - Awe-Inspiring Miracles

Sometimes our babies just need some snuggles <3

Passing Judgement.....

I went out for lunch today with my friend, Merilee. She is so incredibly beautiful, inside and out. She makes lunch an easier process for me because she always takes a kid! :) We went to Moxies and had a great lunch and a lovely visit.

This is what happened at lunch time....

A mom and her two children came in, they were both teenagers. They sat at a table close to where we were seated. I glanced back and looked at the two teenagers, they looked so unhappy. At this point in the lunch, Adele was yelling and screaming, not because she was upset, but just because she thought that it was a good time to yell and scream. :)
The mom and her children moved tables.
I was kind of upset and thought that it was rather unnecessary and kind of a bold move.
I said to Merilee that I was kind of surprised, as was she and we both commented on how miserable the kids seemed to be out with their mom.

The waitress came back to clear our table and I asked her if they moved because of Adele. She told me that they moved because both of her children are autistic and her daughter is extremely sensitive to noises.
I paused.
Merilee paused.
We both felt bad for judging.
I had to take Brinley to the washroom to change her and on our way back, I decided to stop off at their table.
I told the mom that I was sorry that Adele was being so loud. She then proceeded to tell me that both of her children are autistic and that her daughter needed to be in a quieter place in the restaurant. I shared with her that Adele has Down syndrome and I am learning new things every day about having a child with special abilities. I completely respected their decision to move and was appreciative that the mom took her time to explain her daughter's sensitivity to loud noises.

The mom reassured me that there was no need to apologize and that it was all ok.
I decided to apologize to the son. The daughter kept to herself and played on her IPad, I didn't want to interrupt or make her feel uncomfortable. I told the son that sometimes Adele yells and she gets pretty loud. He told me that she was loud and he thought that maybe he would have to go to the car if she continued and that Adele needed to stop yelling and screaming. It was funny.
I like how he engaged with me and I had a feeling that he knew he was funny. I also felt this connection with him, there was something very special about this boy. I wanted to give him a hug or touch him, but I didn't want to overstep my boundaries.
I left them to eat their meals and apologized to the son and daughter once again for my screaming child. :)
She wasn't misbehaving, like I said before, she was just excited to see Merilee and she was enjoying her snuggle time.

Tried to take a groupie....too funny!! :)

I went back to the table and talked to Merilee about the conversation that I just had with the family. Merilee works with at-risk youth and has a heart of gold. She enjoys what she does and has such a passion and devotion for her students.

We talked about what had just happened. We both judged without knowing. We thought that they moved because Adele was loud. We commented on how the kids looked so unhappy. We passed judgement before knowing their story. We had an A-HA moment. We are all on our own journeys. We all have a past. We all have a story. Taking the time to visit, to learn, to have a conversation with others, instead of assuming that they are just an ass. Driving to work in the morning and some jerk cuts you off or speeds past you, how do we know that he wasn't rushing to the hospital to be with a dying family member or that his wife is in the backseat, ready to give birth.? I think that we are so quick to judge others. We are a judgemental society and it makes me sad. The next time a cashier is rude to you, ask if she is ok instead of giving her a verbal lickin'. Maybe just stop and take the time to learn about another person's journey.

I asked the waitress for our bill but of course, while I was away from the table, Merilee paid for the bill. I decided that I would pay for the other family's meal.

Merilee and I continued to visit and the mom came up to our table. I didn't want recognition for paying for their bill, I just wanted to do it. In the back of my mind, I also wanted to do it because I bet their journey has been at times, very difficult and trying. I could see how much love the mom had for her children, but I could also see some pain.
She was so grateful and thanked me many times.
She also said that people have passed judgement and they don't take the time to learn and ask questions. People judge her children.
She then began to get teary and she told me that nobody has ever done something like this for her.....ever.

That breaks my heart. I gave her a hug and I waved to the kids.

Take the time to learn about others. We are all on a journey.

Basket number 2 delivered to the hospital :)

 

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Adele's Over the Rainbow Baskets - Down syndrome LOVIN