Still Learning.....

Back in the day :)


My post from yesterday talked about how some friends and family have stated that Adele doesn't look like she has Down syndrome and how it really doesn't bother me. My dear friend Jenny left this comment for me today and it really does make sense. It made me see what things may be like down the road, when Adele gets into school and when her features are more prominent. I deleted the comments on the blog so it's not repeated...




Brinley - 1 day old :)


Jenny.....


First off, love how the blog looks, who ever did it did a fantastic job!! Second, I feel the same way about the "Downs" thing...
But third, when people tell me Russell doesn't even look like he has Down syndrome, ya, I don't like that. And no I don't take it as a compliment. You may feel differently as Adele gets older. She is a baby right now, and no people may not be noticing. But as she gets older and her features stand out a little more, you may not take it as a compliment when people say that type of thing to you. I guess I take offence because I know damn well people can tell my son has Ds, he has all the features, so when they say "you can hardly tell" it makes me feel like they think looking like you have Down syndrome is a horrible thing. That he would be ugly if he looked like he had Ds. I just don't see how it is a compliment at all when some one says he doesn't look like he has something that is in every cell of his body and gives him a very distinctive look. Just tell me he's cute. Don't tell me he doesn't look like he has Ds. It's a part of him and we are proud of it. Anyway...
I also agree with you though that people just don't know any better and often times don't know what to say. I saw a great post on that on FB the other day. I'll try and find it, it's worth reading. Great post!




CRAZY HAIR!!


Krista.....


Thanks Jenny! I'm sure eventually I won't like it, but right now because she's only been around for 11 weeks, I only have a short list of things that piss me off. As she gets older, that list will get longer and I will get meaner. :)
I totally get where you're coming from. I do just want people to say that she's sweet and cute and she looks just like her sister. People don't know and that's the thing...in their mind it is a compliment and not something that is negative.
When people think of Ds, they have an image in their mind, so when they see a child with milder features, I think it surprises them and they feel that it must be a mild case of Ds....kind of like the flu....just mild. :)
I could hear your sort of anger in your post. I knew that you weren't a fan of being told that Russell looks like he doesn't have Ds, so I was waiting for your response because I respect what you have to say. I value your opinion. I am new to all of this and am learning. I write how I feel that day.




Always posing!


Jenny.....


No, no..No anger, I certainly wouldn't want what I said to come off as angry in anyway. I guess I just feel it's unnecessary for people to say they don't think he looks like he has Ds. But like you said, they think it's a compliment and they are trying to be nice. It's just hard sometimes you know, not to be oversensitive. I think I am in many ways...I take to many things to heart when it comes to Russell. I just love him so much I don't ever want him to hurt, or feel the stares, or be spoken of certain ways. *sigh*...Being oversensitive is something I need to work on for sure.

Love all your posts, I imagine your family and friends are learning so much from what you are putting out there. Oh, and LOVE the little half smiles Adele is doing these days. So stinkin cute :)




LOVE


Krista.....

I meant the anger thing, that it hurts you and irks you. I know you're not ticked at me. :) I hear your anger and frustration when it comes to Russell and how others see him and the comments that have been made towards him and the family. I am dreading so many things as Adele gets older. I'm not the best when it comes to filtering and sometimes it comes out quickly and abruptly. Right now, most of the comments come from kids, they are wondering what's up Adele's nose. It's a simple answer and no feelings are hurt. I give the children their answer and they are content. I am also very overly sensitive. Thank God our kids have awesome parents! :)))

I would love to hear from others who read the blog. Give me your feedback. Let me know how you feel. :)

**You may have noticed the Top Mommy Blog badge on my page. Feel free to click on it. One click counts as one vote. You can vote once every 24 hours. Just a click! :)

If you want to rank my blog or leave a comment.....I am in the Special Needs section....I am number 16, I need to get to number 1! I am not doing this for my ego, I am doing this because this journey is important to me, it is important to share and to hopefully educate, entertain and show others that it can be done. I've said for a while now that these two girls, with the help of family and friends, will change the world! :)

Down's Kids.....

Loves the park!

Day 9 of the 31 for 21 Challenge.....

Just a quickie.....

My momma came over today for a visit and we took the kids to the park. Mom was telling me about the nurse at the doctor's office yesterday, where she had her mammogram. Side note...get your mammograms!

I seriously can't get enough of these pictures!

 

The nurse has a son who is 18, he has Down syndrome. She kept saying Down's kids. I told my mom that it irks me when I hear this, mom was surprised that I felt this way. I feel that I don't want my child to be defined as a Down's baby or Down's kid. That is NOT who she is....she is Adele Jamie Collins, a beautiful baby girl who just happens to have a genetic gift, which is Down syndrome. When you introduce your children to others, do you say "this is my child who doesn't have any learning difficulties or genetic disorders or diseases?"
I'm thinking that you probably say "this is my child, Johnny."
I will not introduce Adele as "this is Adele, she has Down syndrome and this is Brinley, she does not have Down syndrome.

Working hard on smiling!

I get that in the medical world, it will be discussed but do it the right way. Be professional.
I know that I wrote about this yesterday but I think I needed to say a little more on the topic.

I had a friend over yesterday and she had mentioned that her family didn't even know that Adele had Down syndrome, that she doesn't look like she has it. I've had a few others say the same thing.
I've read on a few mommy blogs that this irritates the families. Or if people say that the child must have a mild case because they don't have any of the features.
Do I take offense to this?
Not one bit. People aren't saying this to be rude or derogatory, they just don't know a lot about Down syndrome. They are trying to pay you a compliment....in their mind, it is a compliment. It could be taken either way. Is it insulting because kids with Ds are not attractive?? Is it kind because they just sort of said that your kid is cute?? I don't know.

Happy face :)

I know that before Adele, I didn't really know a lot about Down syndrome. I've never taught any students with Ds. I used to spell it incorrectly, Down Syndrome. Nope, it's Down syndrome. I could see myself telling somebody that their child must have a mild case because they look non Down syndrome. :) People don't know. People don't always know what to say. People don't know if they should feel sorry for you or pat you on the back. People don't know if they should be mad at you for giving life to a child when you know that they have Down syndrome. People don't know if they should praise you and call you a martyr. People don't know......

Darn nose prongs!

All we can do is educate others. This is why I write the blog. This is why I am trying so hard to get my name and my story out there. I wish more people would share the blog. As I've said before, these two girls will change the world.


**You may have noticed the Top Mommy Blog badge on my page. Feel free to click on it. One click counts as one vote. You can vote once every 24 hours. Just a click! :)


If you want to rank my blog or leave a comment.....I am in the Special Needs section....I am number 19, I need to get to number 1! I am not doing this for my ego, I am doing this because this journey is important to me, it is important to share and to hopefully educate, entertain and show others that it can be done. I've said for a while now that these two girls, with the help of family and friends, will change the world! :)

Mommy Group....

Hi Addisyn!

Hi Brinley!

A few thoughts...

Day 8 of the 31 for 21 Challenge.....

Yesterday was a lovely day. Brinley, Adele and I went out for lunch with Christina and her beautiful children. We went to Boston Pizza for lunch. Christina ordered chocolate milk for her little one, forgetting that it doesn't always sit well. It didn't sit well. Lunch, breakfast, snack from the night before, dinner from the night before all came back up! It came back up on her lunch plate, Christina's lunch plate and all down the front of her pretty little outfit.

What did Brinley do? Keep feeding me mom!! I want my bugs and cheese.

Poor Addisyn!
 

Adele, seriously, leave me alone. I love you Declyn!

I'm not listening to you Adele...I'm not looking at you Declyn!

After lunch, we decided to go to Playtopia so the kids could run around and burn off lunch and maybe have a little nap in the car on the way home. Load all five kids into the vehicles, including diaper bags, oxygen tank, purses, car seats and gifts and head to Playtopia.

Unload five children from vehicles, including diaper bags, oxygen tank, purses, car seats. Holy crap! So much work!

Walk into Playtopia and what do I see?? Yes, it happened. I shivered. I cried a little inside. Sitting at a table, were four women, all perfectly coiffed, all blonde, all perfect, all not paying attention to their children, all drinking their short, half soy, half milk with cream mocca vanilla latte with splenda and decaf, skim, extra hot wet caramel latte with whip' with a triple shot of caramel macchiato with skim milk, light foam, and extra caramel sauce lining the sides of the cup no whip but a pinch of nutmeg in a Venti cup, and an extra shot of vanilla. ALL NON-FAT....even though no outside food or drinks are allowed. They were all sporting their skinny jeans and designer tops with that purse hook thing that holds your purse up on the table so it doesn't touch the floor. It was the dreaded mommy group!
 

Loves sunglasses!

My beautiful handmade blanket from Christina!

I am looking like a bum and I haven't shaved my legs in three weeks, possibly four and I'm wearing capris. My hair is disheveled because of the wind and it's stuck in my lip gloss and stuck on my forehead because I am sweating from unloading and loading and unloading and loading. I see them glance at us, just a glance to check us out. There were no smiles. No love. No warm and fuzzy feelings. They were cold. The mommy group was cold. I am surprised that they would meet in Okotoks at a play place. I am confused. Maybe they were slumming it yesterday.

As we were standing at the entrance, hands full, telling the kids to wait for us, the hostess tells us that they are closed in nine minutes. Are you effin kidding me?? I see the mommy group look over at us. I cringe.

The hostess apologized but for some reason, we were in denial, we didn't move. Maybe we were expecting to be to welcomed with arms wide open and that they would stay open later because we looked like a hot mess. She would maybe feel sorry for us. I saw the mommy group glance over again.

Usually I would say something or give a glare but instead, I just stood there, hair all over, looking frumpy, and wishing that we could play! I even remembered to pack socks. I am such a great mom.

We left, deflated. So last night at around 3:00am after I fed Adele, I hopped back into bed and James and I had a short discussion about having another baby. I asked him if he wanted to get trying for number three....he laughed, then laughed some more and ended it with a laugh. We went to bed. End of discussion.

Lastly, I have been meaning to write about this for a while now. I didn't think that this was something that would bother me, but it does now that Adele is here. When she was in the hospital with her cold and waiting for transport, I overheard the nurse telling the paramedic that Adele was a Down's baby. I shuddered. I don't like her being called a Down's baby. That is not her name and that is not the way the doctors and nurses should describe our little peanut. As a professional, you should say, T21 or Trisomy 21. One of paramedics was in the room with me when the nurse said it and I told the paramedic that it bothered me. She didn't say much. It may not mean anything to you but it means a lot to me. Adele is our child, she does have feelings, she will eventually understand what others are saying about her and as her mother, I will not tolerate others being disrespectful. You may not think that it's rude, but it is and it hurts my feelings. She is our child, she has a name, she is a miracle and know that on her birth certificate, it says Adele Jamie Collins and not Down's Baby. Be mindful.


**You may have noticed the Top Mommy Blog badge on my page. Feel free to click on it. One click counts as one vote. You can vote once every 24 hours. Just a click! :)

If you want to rank my blog or leave a comment.....I am in the Special Needs section....I am number 19, I need to get to number 1! I am not doing this for my ego, I am doing this because this journey is important to me, it is important to share and to hopefully educate, entertain and show others that it can be done. I've said for a while now that these two girls, with the help of family and friends, will change the world! :)

Our Little Star!

Day 7 of the 31 for 21 Challenge.....

Today's blog is just a quick one. :)

As you all know this month is Down syndrome Awareness month. I have both girls entered in The 2013 Gerber Generation Contest.
I think it's time for a bit of a change and I think a good way to show awareness would be to have Adele as the Gerber Star. Down syndrome and adorable! I think she's a perfect candidate. All it takes is a click. xoxoxo
The contest runs until October 27th, 2013. You can vote once a day. :) I can't put the direct link to Adele on my blog.
Click on the link below then click on Gerber Facebook page. It will take you to your Facebook. You may have to put Gerber in the search bar. Go to the Gallery/Vote and find Adele. :)
Sorry it wasn't a bit easier. I know it's a pain, but it's worth it. If we were Facebook friends, you could just click directly on the link on my page. ;) If you find an easier way, let me know.

Gerber Launches Photo Search 2013 | Gerber Newsroom

Invincible.....

I love these pictures!

So, who came up with the brilliant idea to do the 31 for 21 Challenge?? I need to write a blog every day for the next month. I am already starting to bore myself with my posts. My life isn't interesting enough to do this...I need some guest bloggers I think to help me out! :)

Today, we had plans to take the girls out but Adele has been pale for the past two days. I'm wondering if it was the shots. Sometimes she just gets pale. Adele has now started to smile. It has melted my heart. So far, she has hit a few milestones and all early. I think she might be a genius! Down syndrome is not a disability in our house, it's kind of cool! James and I decided to tackle the girl's closet. It took hours to weed out the clothes that are too small for Brinley. She grew a whole lot during the three months that we were living with mom and dad. It was a long day and kind of boring too. We still have more bins of clothes at James' parent's house....SO. MANY. CLOTHES. I can't wait for our basement to be ready. It is taking forever and it's extremely frustrating.

I can't wait to be able to walk downstairs and grab stuff instead of having to drive down the street. I want my home completed. Arg!

Love you!

Today as I was unloading and loading the closet, I was thinking about the Electric Ave. days. I was 18 and had a different bar to go to every night. My favourite bar was Coconut Joes! Usually it was the bar of choice Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday night. Sometimes when there was a special event, we would head down around 2:00pm and sit on the patio all day and all night. These were the days when we would gather at somebody's house, have a few drinks and head down to Electric! Once at the bar, it was vodka slime time, usually a triple, or a few triples. After a few bevies, it was speaker dancing time. Yes, speaker dancing time. There were always a handful of girls shakin it on the speaker on the look out for the hot guys. There were the token hotties who always got the chicks. I worry about their health now....it was a dirty bar. Dirty! Dirty!
It was truly such a carefree time. No worries. Still living at home. Not paying rent because I was attending university. Making money working at California Tan. Spending my money at the bar.
I remember when my BFF and I went to the bar for 14 days straight. No break. Just dancing and drinking and dancing and drinking and, you get it. We didn't drive drunk but we also didn't make the best choices. When you're 18 you think you're invincible. Nothing can happen. If I have a few, I'll make it home ok. If the driver has had a few, we will make it home ok. There was a lot of stupidity.
I remember attending 5 funerals in 6 months and only one wasn't alcohol related.
The worst accident was when we were 18 years old. A group of six guys crammed into a Prelude. It was a small car. Three in the back and three in the front. The driver had been drinking but from what I remember, he wasn't drunk, but he was still impaired. He took a corner too fast and smashed into a light post. The three boys in the back shot out the back window and the three in the front went forward and smashed into the window. There were two sets of brothers in the car. The two brothers in the back were seriously injured. One was face down in a pool of gasoline and the other in the ditch. The other boy in the back died. The boys in the front hit the windshield and one of them flew back and hit the passenger so hard that he broke his ribs and punctured his lung. The driver was not injured.
Imagine getting the phone call. Imagine being a parent and getting that call.
The funeral was a wake up call for many but for others it gave them reason to drink even more. It was such a difficult time. The physical and emotional pain still resonates with the boys today.
Another death was a close family friend. He was 18. He was such a great guy. He was loved and adored by his friends and family. It was Halloween. It was a reason to get drunk.
He was found at the bottom of the stairs with vomit in his mouth. His best friend gave him CPR. It didn't work. He died. Reports confirm that he died choking on his vomit.
Imagine getting that phone call. Imagine being his mom and dad and getting that phone call.
One last story was when I was 17 and Ange was 18. Ange loved to party and was a bar hopping kind of girl. She was very carefree. She needed a ride home and was offered a ride by one of her friends. Ange got distracted and went off to another bar with some friends. The driver of the vehicle asked another girl if she needed a ride. She accepted. They were on Elbow Drive, turning right onto Southhampton and smashed into the light post. She died on impact. The owner of the car was intoxicated so he asked his intoxicated friend to drive. Ange was supposed to be in that seat.
I was at a dinner with her family a few months later and it was sad. It was a very sad dinner. Mom was on medication that made her almost zombie like. There was no laughter and no smiles. The parents ended up divorced because of the stress of their daughter's death.

We are not invincible. It doesn't matter our age. We are not invincible.
I think about all the students that I have taught over the years and I worry about the choices that they will make. I wish I could tell them all that it isn't worth it. It isn't worth risking your life. It isn't worth risking the lives of others. Be responsible. Think.

Had enough!

 

 

Little girl....big soother!

 

 

Just giving me the finger!

 

NOT 50 Shades of Grey....

Day 5 of the 31 for 21 Challenge.....

When James and I conceived Brinley, it was total excitement. Ok, I just re-read that...you may think that the moment was total excitement but I was referring to tinkling on the stick, that was total excitement. The conceiving part was decent. ;)
Anyways, it was a long and rough pregnancy, I was put on bed rest, we had to live with my parents for six weeks and home care visited every other day. There were many trips to the hospital and morning sickness, well day sickness for almost the entire pregnancy. When we were induced at 37 weeks, we decided that we probably wouldn't have another baby. It was too scary being pregnant with Brinley and to be honest, pregnancy isn't fun. Pregnancy does something to me mentally and psychologically. I ended up in the hospital one night because I was having a panic attack that I just couldn't get under control. I don't freak out. I don't cry. I don't go all crazy. I don't want to die. I just feel hopeless and helpless and my mind is sad. I think I get so overwhelmed at the unknown. I am a planner and I make decisions and control my decisions and I'm in charge of my life. Being pregnant, you lose the control. You can't control what is happening to your body. You can't control whether or not you will have a healthy baby. You can't control the outcome. You can't control anything and I think this sends me into a panic.

One crazy night in December, I guess we were feeling randy and spicy.....I guess. We were careless, or maybe carefree or just not thinking or using good judgement. I'm not too sure. We couldn't blame it on alcohol because I know we were sober. I won't get into every detail as this is not an excerpt from 50 Shades of Grey but we did it! No whips, no chains, no red room, no kinky lingerie, no music, no candles, no back massage, no sweet talking....man, I think it might be time to spice things up a bit. :)
Anyways, after the joyous minute of loving, I was calculating in my head when I would be ovulating, just to make sure that we wouldn't be having a baby in nine months. Hmmm.....
I said to James that I think I was on day 17 and that would be the start of ovulation. He said that we would be fine and not to worry. I think he was in denial.
Towards the end of December, I was crampy and actually felt the implantation stage when it was happening one night. I thought I was just having cramps.
The next day, I took the test and it was positive.
I peed on the stick and immediately I saw two lines.
I walked into the kitchen and said "HOLY SHIT!"
James looked at the stick and said "HOLY SHIT!"
Ok, I'll get my 600 hours in at work, at that time I was working once a week at Rowan House, a shelter for abused women and children. (I will go back to teaching when the girls are in school). I would then go on maternity leave again and it'll all be ok. I've done this pregnancy thing once before so I know what to expect. Maybe it'll be a good thing that Brinley has a sibling.
I stopped working at Rowan House because I was sick for months. I felt awful. I am not feeling sorry for myself, just stating that I felt like crap. I kept telling myself that this was supposed to happen. We got pregnant not long after the whole Newtown, Connecticut shootings occurred and baby was due on my Nanny's birthday. It was all good. It was meant to be.

Jump a couple of months.....while waiting for the Trisomy 21 results, I went into a panic one night in the middle of the night. Here we go again. I called my sister, she tried to calm me down, I called Health Link and spoke with a nurse and she tried to calm me down. I decided to go in to emergency and talk to somebody. Again, I had no control over the results and no control over the health of this baby. It was a long night. Again, I am calm and collected because I know that when I am in a state of panic, I know that everything is ok and that I am safe. It's difficult to explain.

My point....things happen for a reason. We conceived Adele for a reason. We were chosen for a reason. I want my girls to wake up Christmas morning and run down the stairs together, excited to see what Santa left them. I want them to hide their teeth under their pillows and share in the excitement the following day after the tooth fairy leaves a small amount of money under their pillow. I want them to walk home together from school and talk about their day. I want them to argue and make up. I want them to love each other and be there for each other, always. I want them to be the best they can be and learn from each other. I want them to respect each other and teach others about respect. I want them to make a positive difference in this world.

I have received many messages from old and new friends telling me that they admire my strength and courage. I am not always strong. I am not always courageous. I am not always smiling. I am not always a good wife. I am not always the best person that I can be. I don't always say the right things. I don't always have patience. I don't always feel good about myself. I don't always feel confident in my abilities as a mother. I struggle too. I've cried and wondered if I have the ability to raise a child with special needs. It's tough.

All I know right now is that when I see these two girls look at each other, I have never seen a love that is so strong. They make eye contact and hold it and I feel that they are telling each other that they will always be there for each other. They have a special bond.

A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.
~ Isadora James.

**You may have noticed the Top Mommy Blog badge on my page. Feel free to click on it. One click counts as one vote. You can vote once every 24 hours. Just a click! :)

 If you want to rank my blog or leave a comment.....I am in the Special Needs section....I am number 20, I need to get to number 1! I am not doing this for my ego, I am doing this because this journey is important to me, it is important to share and to hopefully educate, entertain and show others that it can be done. I've said for a while now that these two girls, with the help of family and friends, will change the world! :)

Beautiful!

Day 4 of the 31 for 21 Challenge

Today's blog is all about how beautiful Down syndrome is and the bond and love that two sisters have for each other. <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOVE

 

 

**You may have noticed the Top Mommy Blog badge on my page. Feel free to click on it. One click counts as one vote. You can vote once every 24 hours. Just a click! :)

 If you want to rank my blog or leave a comment.....I am in the Special Needs section....I am number 20, I need to get to number 1! I am not doing this for my ego, I am doing this because this journey is important to me, it is important to share and to hopefully educate, entertain and show others that it can be done. I've said for a while now that these two girls, with the help of family and friends, will change the world! :)