Are You Ready To Be A Parent :)

Car seat test results - All you need to know is STELLAR!

Today was a pretty great day. Adele passed her car seat test with flying colours! That little tiny bit of oxygen sure goes a long way. I knew that she would pass.
Tomorrow, Adele has an appointment at The Children's Hospital with the ear, nose and throat specialist. This is our last hurdle right now. I know that he will look up her nose and maybe all the way down into her belly to see if she has any obstructions. My personal opinion, is that this is who she is....she is a bit floppy, she has weaker muscle tone and she just needs some time to mature. Adele is very positional and when her airway is open and her neck is supported, her breathing is normal.
James and I will go to the hospital in the morning and have some snuggles, then Adele will be transported by ambulance and mommy and daddy will follow along and be there for the appointment. This is her first outing, so she needs us there to give her some love and support.
As long as tomorrow goes well, Adele will be coming home on Wednesday. It will be a lot for her, so it will be better to have some monitoring after the appointment just to make sure that she keeps her levels up. She doesn't need the stress of another car ride.

The nurses and doctors have informed us to keep visitors away or just have a couple as she gets worn out easily. Also, if anybody has sniffles, no visits. Maybe I should set up a hand washing station, gown station and mask station. That sounds perfect!!! :)
We definitely don't want our peanut getting sick. We may just stick with immediate family for a little while until we know that she is a bit stronger.

Perfection

Tonight, I had this sinking, kind of sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I realized that Adele is probably coming home in a couple of days. I had a minor freak out and needed to breathe. It was kind of like the same fear when you go into labour and realize what's about to come shooting out...that kind of fear. The type of fear that a bottle of rum could help fix. The type of fear right before you jump out of a plane and wonder if your chute will actually open. The type of fear when you wonder after you jump off of the bridge if your bungee cord is too long. The type of fear when...I'm going to keep this one to myself cause it involves family members and I don't want to upset anybody, but I am laughing right now. :)
Anyways, I am actually really scared to be bringing Adele home. I may not sleep again for a really long time. I am worried about nights. Adele is not a crier, so I guess we will have to set the alarm for every 3 hours. Wait, will they change the time? Will they change the amount of formula? I know that it's based on weight...is there a weight/feeding schedule? These are just a couple of my worries.
Since I'm on a roll....
I know that I need to call some people and some people need to call me. I forget who I need to call. I forget who will call me. Who decides when she comes off of oxygen? Who decides when the NG tube comes out? AHHHHHHH.......
I totally feel like my head is spinning. My tummy hurts!
Is her play pen safe? Is it hard enough? Is it too hard? Will she be ok in a bouncy chair?

I honestly never thought of most of these things with Brinley. I am a bit worried and scared about having Adele home. I can hear some of you saying that I need to take it one day at a time...one day at a time. I know.

Let's have some funny.....

Ok...next. So yesterday while I was snuggling with Adele, I noticed a young, pretty, new mom in the room next to me. I glanced behind me and noticed that she was pumping her rather large and perfect boobs. I texted James and told him that he seriously missed out on a good snuggling day. He asked for a picture. Whatever James!!! :)

Another funny moment....some new grandparents were in visiting their new grandchild and Adele let out the loudest and wettest shart. It was so loud that I actually jumped. I don't get embarrassed very easily, but I didn't even know what to say. The grandparents glanced over and all I could say was "ADELE!" This kid is the craziest pooper and tooter. I love her!

Love this!!!

The Test For Future Parents by author Colin Falconer comprises 14 steps to follow before you have children and was originally printed in his book 'A beginners guide to fatherhood' in 1992 before finding its was on to parenting blogs in the UK, most recently Mamami by Chet, who was sent the parenting test by a friend.

 

'Most people will tell you that "it" is the hardest, most rewarding, rollercoaster job you will ever have - there's no pay, you are on duty 24/7 and, at times, it seems like there are few rewards.

'Being a parent has its ups and downs. I wouldn't change my title as "mummy" for anything in the world, however when this came through my inbox from a great friend it made me laugh (a lot!)'
If you think you are ready to embrace the joys of motherhood, we have printed the 14 tests here to see if you are really up to the challenge...

Test 1: Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy

1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children

1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

 

Test 2: Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3: Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:

 

1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2.  At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4: Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5: Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.


Test 6: Going for a walk

 

a. Wait.
b. Go out the front door.
c. Come back in again.
d. Go out.
e. Come back in again.
f. Go out again.
g. Walk down the front path.
h. Walk back up it.
i. Walk down it again.
j. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
k. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
l. Retrace your steps.
m. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
n. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7: Conversations with children
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8: Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old

1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10: TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11: Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:

 

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.
5. Drag randomly items from one room to another room and leave them there.


Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13: Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14: Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work
You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!