Expecting Twins???

Yesterday, was a bit of a rough day, well at least the morning. I just didn't feel like myself at all. I think it started with the crappy sleep then having to get up early. Brinley decided to be a bit difficult and we both ended up with poo on us! I am not a big fan of poop on me or poop all over my daughter...I actually am just not a fan of poop, but I guess it needs to be done. She then unloaded the freshly folded cloth drawer, and then put her fingers all over the newly dusted table and TV stand. I was getting frustrated. I left the house when grandma showed up and I told her that I needed a little break. She said to take my time and just relax and enjoy some alone time. I cried, but only a little bit while driving to the hospital. I felt overwhelmed, anxious and just that feeling of I'm not sure that I can actually do all of this with a new baby who will have genetics gifts. I can handle 35 students and not get frustrated but can I be a mom to two precious, little girls?  I find it so difficult sometimes to find the balance between mommy, wife, sister, daughter and my own personal time. How do you actually balance everything? I know the importance of ME time, but actually planning it and moving forward is sometimes difficult. I love being a mom and spending time with my baby girl and I know that spending anymore then a day away from her would not be possible for me. I miss her after a couple of hours, but I need more balance. I think when I visit Cocktails and Dreams next week, I will have to bring this up. I know that she wants me to plan Me time, but good lord, I am not always feeling well and I am exhausted by 7:00pm. This pregnancy has drained me, emotionally and physically.
Anyways, the women at the Rockyview were all complaining about the wait time, but I was happy just to be sitting in the waiting room, eating my yogurt in peace. I got into my appointment at a decent time and when my OB walked into the room she gave me a big hug. She is wonderful. The clinical nurse, Morgan also greets me with a big smile and is always caring and supportive and has been since day one.
My gestational diabetes testing came back all clear. I was floored. For sure I thought that I would have it again, I figured that it just naturally happens if you've already had it with one pregnancy. This is one less thing to worry about...woot!! Woot!!
The upset was that baby's heart hiccup/palpitation is still there. During my last appointment, we couldn't hear it, but this time we could clearly hear the palpitation. My doctor said not to worry about and that she feels confident that it will rectify itself before birth. I sure hope so. It makes me a bit sad to hear the hiccup but I am going to think optimistically and pray that it just heals on its own and that at birth, we deliver a happy, healthy princess.

This is huge!!! This isn't me. :)

Soooooo, it happened. I was at London Drugs yesterday and I went to go pay for my items. I got to the till and the cashier said to me that I must be close to my due date. I told her that the baby was due in August, she then proceeded to ask if I was expecting twins.
ARE YOU FOR REAL???? Is that something you really say to somebody?? I get that my belly is out there, this is baby number 2 and things got big, fast, but good lord, did you just ask me if I was expecting twins. You suck and I hope you have a rotten day. Poo on you and your twins comment. So many things that I wanted to say, but I came up with all of them after I left. I should really call there and tell her my comebacks! Yes, that would solve everything and make it all better. :)

Came home and found out that Brinley napped for 2 hours so grandma had relaxation time on the couch....after she made our bed. :) Oh grandma....you really don't have to make the bed. I don't make it because bed bugs love warmth, so if I made the bed, they would find a home under the duvet and multiply. This way, the sheets are exposed and it's all chilly so they find another home.
I also realized that Brinley is learning lots at this age and her unloading drawers and exploring the house, is great for brain development and I need to remind myself that she is learning. Let it go Krista. Let it go.
Side note, Bed, Bath and Beyond has king and queen sized sheets on sale. 800 thread count for 67 bucks, with the coupon. They are happy and comfy and silky on my skin! I should really get paid for my advertising. :)

Today, I head back to the Foothills for my ultrasound. I will remind them of the hiccup. I'm hoping that her measurements are still on track and that things look great. Ultrasounds with this little one are more stressful and I worry about her health. Send prayers and good vibes my way please.

I have entered a contest and I still need tons of votes to be number 1! If you are on Facebook, you can vote for me. I am on page 1 - Krista R. The contest is for my favourite mommy moment! <3 I am very competitive! :)

https://www.facebook.com/CSTConsultants?sk=app_279457548855375&app_data

Have a wonderful hump day!! :)

Peed My Pants.....AGAIN!

So, I've been a bit of a slacker this weekend with posting...the weather was great so we got out for some family fun!! Yesterday was a busy but super fun day. We went to the Little Britches Parade...there is an 'R' in britches, don't leave that out!! We went with Ange and Ryder, it was a great parade! Brinley waved the entire time, from start to finish! It was pretty sweet. After the parade, it was nap time for daddy and Brinley. There was a rodeo in the afternoon, but it wasn't a very large arena, so we headed to George Lane Park instead. I love that Brinley is getting to that age where she's having more fun. She goes on the swing and loves swinging high! I hope she's not a roller coaster kinda girl cause daddy and mommy don't do rides! Hopefully Danika and Ryder will indulge her and take her on the spiny and crazy rides. I'm thinking though that if she throws up at the beginning of her ride experience, we are set. No more rides.
After the park, we went for dinner then off to Ryder's soccer practice. That kid is crazy on the field. Gets the ball and goes for it, doesn't matter which net, just goes. Got Brinley home to bed then it was momma's turn. I was exhausted but couldn't fall asleep until after 11:00pm. Up at 6:30am so I could shower before Brinley woke up and now I'm tired and it's only 8:00am. Oh well, the joys of motherhood!!

Off to the OB today for a check up. I am really hoping that I get in right away. I don't enjoy waiting for over an hour for a 10 minute appointment. Listen to me today, all whiny and complaining. :)

A little random....I just had a major sneeze attack and peed my pants, so off to change after the blog. Man, this peeing thing gets annoying! I should have left my pyjamas on until it was time to go to the appointment. Oh well....it's going to be a long day!!

Some funnies for the day! I love kid quotes!!

Happy, sunny Tuesday!! :)

Side note....I have entered a contest and I still need tons of votes to be number 1! If you are on Facebook, you can vote for me. I am on page 1 - Krista R. The contest is for my favourite mommy moment! <3 I am very competitive! :)

https://www.facebook.com/CSTConsultants?sk=app_279457548855375&app_data

I Miss Drugs....

Yesterday, James and I spent an hour on the computer trying to figure out what would be a fun, family activity for the day. There was an awesome children's festival going on in Banff, but by the time we got there, it would have been over in an hour and all the tickets to the main events were sold out. There was a lady bug festival, but it seemed kind of hippie and flowery, which isn't really us. Thought about Calaway Park and Heritage Park but the last time we went out and I had to do a lot of walking, I'm pretty sure I was on death's door the next day!! Ohhhhh!!! What about the circus??!!??! Yes, the circus, check for tickets, looks great. Tell my sister and she informs me that there have been rumours about animal cruelty and that protesters would be present for all of the events. I refuse to spend money on that....animal cruelty, not ok. What to do?? We ended up going to Walmart to get some better diapers since Brinley is soaking through her diaper, sleeper and sleeping bag at night. I heard that Huggies Overnights are the best....last night was a success! After Walmart, we went to a park in Okotoks and pushed Brinley on the swing. It was nice.

It wasn't really what we had planned, but it was still an enjoyable day spent with my little family.

Next thought...on Friday, when Brinley and I were leaving the Koenig's, there was a teenager delivery flyers to all of the homes. The boy had Down Syndrome. I notice a lot more now. I see kids with Down Syndrome and I observe their behaviours and listen to their words. I never thought I would be doing this...
Anyways, this boy walked right up to me, handed me the flyers, I said "thank you" and he looked me straight in the eyes and said "you're welcome", with a big smile. I have to tell you that it just melted my heart. I called my sister right away and told her about this sweet boy. I also said to her that any other teenager, from my experiences so far, would have seen me, grabbed the flyers and chucked them up on the doorstep and moved onto the next house. It was a great moment.

Today is cloudy and I'm sure the rain is coming. I was up a lot last night with a bad headache. I had James get me an icepack in the middle of the night and I took plenty of Tylenol. I miss taking drugs. I like knowing that when I take a couple Advil, the headache will dissipate. A few more months I can get back to my regular drug taking schedule. ;)

One of my faves!! :)

Children Learn What They Live

 - Dorothy Law Neite If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child learns to feel shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

Side note....I have entered a contest and I still need at least 500 votes to be number 1! If you are on Facebook, you can vote for me. I am on page 1 - Krista R. The contest is for my favourite mommy moment! <3 I am very competitive! :)

https://www.facebook.com/CSTConsultants?sk=app_279457548855375&app_data

You're awesome....

This says it all. It's a great read for parents. <3

Beth Woolsey....

1. You are a hero for your kids. You are. You're a go-the-distance, fight-the-dragon, face-the-challenges hero for your kids. Taking a beating makes that more true. Not less.

2. We all struggle. Every parent. Everywhere. We all second-guess ourselves. And we all want to quit sometimes. Hold the good times close, and when things are tough, remember, "this, too, shall pass."

3. Finding the funny may not save your soul, but it will save your sanity. Or maybe it's the other way around. Either way, look for the humor and embrace the crazy. Laughter is a lifeline.

4. Every day, you will feel like you have mishandled something. Like you've been impatient. Like you've misjudged. Like you've been too harsh. Like you've been too lenient. You may be right. Apologize if you need to and then, whatever. Seriously. Just whatever. Let it go.

5. The crazy, the crying, the cuddles. The screaming, the sacred, the scared. The minutes, the magic, the mess. It's all part of it. And it's all worth it.

6. Family is the best. Even when it's not perfect. And it's never perfect. Ever.

7. At the end of organization, at the end of patience, at the end of perfection, we die to ourselves. And then love rises from the ashes. It sucks. And then it gets better. And then it sucks again. Still, love rises.

8. You will never regret parenting. Except for the teeny, tiny tons of times when you secretly wonder if you maybe regret it just a little. But, overall, never. And overall is what counts in the end.

9. Parenting is like climbing the big mountain. Look for the base camp. That's where you rest, meet other climbers, take in oxygen and acclimatize. Base camp is what makes summiting possible.

10. You are not alone in this strange, vast, parenting ocean. Even in the dark of night. You are not alone. You're not.

11. Kids know the way to magical and they'll give you a free pass to come along. Breathe in the magic as long as you can, because that same kid is going to poop his pants in just a minute.

12. There's a very fine line between enjoying the chaos and barely surviving. Actually, there's no line at all. It's all mixed up together. That "fine line" thing is a lie.

13. If you pay attention, kids will teach you how to laugh loudly, how to love deeply and how to live fully. They will also ruin all your stuff.

14. Any number of kids is a lot of kids.

15. Look for joy. You'll find it in the middle of the busy. Or under the ridiculous. Or hanging from the overwhelmed in its underpants. Joy's like that. It's in the middle of everything. It's completely unpredictable. And it will surprise you when you're not expecting it. Like vomit and diarrhea, except good.

16. You will fall apart and do it all wrong. Forgive yourself. Ask your kids to forgive you. Set an example of resilient fallibility. Set an example of practicing the art of love -- both loving yourself and loving others. No one does this parenting gig right the first time. Or the last time. Or the times in between. Showing your kids how to keep going after getting it wrong is a wonderful gift to give them.

17. Kids are difficult, gross, confusing and awesome. So are you.

18. Parenting will bring you face-to-face with yourself. It may be terrifying. It may break you. But it will also rebuild you, and you will be stronger than you ever thought possible.

19. Balance is a myth. Parenting isn't a tight-rope walk; it's a dance. Strive for rhythm instead of balance, and trust yourself to move to the ever-changing beat.

20. Yes, you will have days where you wonder where the hell the capable and organized you went. Yes, you will sit on the floor of the main aisle at Target by the check-out area with a child who is thrashing, screaming and calling you names. Yes, you will have to tell your child that the dog is not a napkin and to put down the urinal cake. If you do not do all those things literally, then you will do them figuratively. And yes, you will also hold that child and rock back and forth and tell him you love him and tell him he's safe and tell him you're not leaving even though he will someday leave you. This is parenting. It is tragic and triumphant. Messy and magical. Sacred and spectacular. And it is, always, fiercely worthwhile.

Side note....I have entered a contest and I still need at least 400 votes to be number 1! If you are on Facebook, you can vote for me. I am on page 1 - Krista R. The contest is for my favourite mommy moment! <3 I am very competitive! :)

https://www.facebook.com/CSTConsultants?sk=app_279457548855375&app_data

Heading our for lunch today with my lovely friend Robin. Looking forward to it. xo
Have a great Friday my friends!!

Invincible....

YES!!! AGAIN!!!

Well it's only 8:00am and I could already use an Orange Julius! That's sad. I wonder if I can make my own at home. Going to have to research.
I had another dream last night, I dream this one quite often. I am at work but at the school that I only spent 2 years teaching at, and I always check my teacher mailbox in the staffroom. It sounds silly but it happens in each dream. I think I miss teaching and seeing the kids but obviously at this point, I won't be heading back, maybe later on once the girls are in school. It's tough sometimes not working but on the other hand, it's lovely.

One of my high school girls contacted me yesterday and I was so excited to hear that she is doing well. She wanted me to be a reference for a position that she was applying for at a cleaning company. She is a good girl, bright and very capable. I worry so much about the girls and hope that they are making healthy choices. I've told them so many times that they are not invincible, but I know that at the age they are at, it's hard to believe that they can't get through anything, binge drinking, drugs and high risk behaviour.
I remember clear as day...I was teaching and a few past girls called the classroom because they heard that one of their former classmates had died. I knew that it wasn't true because this girl was awesome and finding her way in the world. She had just moved to Regina to live with her dad and to continue to get her life on track. Her and I had such a great bond. I just adored her and knew that she would succeed. I told the girls that I would contact her mom and grandparents and get back to them as soon as possible. I called the family and left messages on both phones asking for them to clear up the rumour.
Mom called me back within the hour and when I answered the phone, I could hear on the other end that it wasn't a rumour. There was no way! There was just no way!! Thank God the rest of my girls were in therapy when I took the call as I just broke down and to be honest, I didn't know what to do with myself. I paced the hallway and cried and questioned and bashed people and cried some more. I called my principal, she came down to sit with me and comfort myself and the behaviour support worker. We were just devastated.
I attended to funeral in Regina with my sister and it was tough, very tough. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had died.
I learned from her mom that she had gone over to a cousin's house, who had been recently released from jail and coming off of heroin. She had methadone in the house, in the form of orange juice. My student drank the orange juice, I truly believe that she didn't know what it was then she had some valium. One drug speeds up your heart rate and the other slows it down. She didn't feel well, so she went to bed early on in the evening. An older man who was over at the time, followed her to bed. I guess her heart stopped at around midnight but nobody called for help until 3:00am. How sad!
Her mom has tried to get a more thorough investigation into the case but has been told many times that her daughter lived a high risk lifestyle and it was more or less expected that something like this would eventually happen. They didn't know the girl I knew...kind and funny and considerate and one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She was just the best.
I think about her often. Her mom gave me some of her favourite possessions, which I still have and look at often. Her mom texts me once in a while to check in and give me an update on her life, which it sounds like she is healing and coping with the loss of her daughter. I couldn't imagine the roller coaster ride that she is on every single day.

Next thought, I am off to the OB next week as well as another ultrasound. I'm hoping that the wait at the OB's office isn't as long as last time, but grandma is going to stay here with Brinley so she can have her nap. Gotta love grandma!! I am looking forward to the ultrasound and hopefully we are able to get a good picture of Little Bean. We haven't had one since week 12 and she was just so small, maybe they can even do a 3D shot. I'll ask. I'm hoping that her growth is still on target and that her heartbeat is still strong and consistent. I think with Brinley, I took her health for granted when we went for ultrasounds. I just assumed that all was good and everything was on track. I never really worried too much about the high blood pressure and gestational diabetes. I just figured that all would work out just fine. With this little bean, I worry about all of it....I pray sometimes that all remains on track. I can't wait to hold her and love her and kiss her and tell her that she is perfect and beautiful.

I need to go hang with a baby who is a bit cranky today. We even called auntie to have a chat but Princess Brinley was so moody that we had to get off the phone. Crazy kid!!

I hope you have a wonderful Thursday....this is the longest week ever. :)

Straight Jacket......

Today, I babysat Ryder for the morning because Ange had a course that needed to be completed at work. The little kid showed up on my doorstep at 8:20 and talked until I dropped him off at school. At around lunchtime, I asked him what he wanted to eat. Nope, not hungry so I grabbed myself an egg salad sandwich from the fridge.
Ryder - "Auntie, I want that."
Auntie - "You won't like it."
Ryder - "I want it!"
Auntie - "You won't like it, it's an egg salad sandwich."
Ryder - "I want half."
Auntie - "You won't like it."
Ryder - "I want half."
Auntie - "Here, take a bite of mine and if you like it, I will give you half."
Ryder - "I want half."
Auntie - "TAKE A BITE!!!!!!!"
Ryder - "Ok."
So he takes a big bite, chew, chew, chew, gag, chew, gag, chew, gag, gag. I watched with a little smile on my face. Poor little guy didn't want to admit that it was icky!! I continued to watch him chew, then finally I asked him if he liked it. To my surprise, he said that he didn't like it at all. ;)
Auntie - "Go spit it out sweetie."
HA!! HA!! HA!!! It was too funny!!

I had to wake Brinley up from her nap in order to get Ry to school on time. Poor little girl cried when I woke her up...there was no pinching or yelling involved, just a gentle rub on the arm but I sure ticked her off. Had to get the kids in the car, carried Brinley down the stairs along with my purse, with Ry behind me. I got Brinley in the car and I can hear Ry yelling at me. "I told you to wait for me. Why did you go ahead? You were supposed to wait."
"Ry, I couldn't because your cousin weighs 30 pounds and I'm pregnant and tired and out of shape and hot and hungry and I need to get you to school on time."
"Auntie, I told you to wait for me."
SIGH!

Got to school on time, make him hug me and tell me that he loves me, cause I'm that kind of auntie. I went to the gym to find Danika to give her a hug and some love. I'm pretty sure she does more talking at lunch then eating because when I got there, some kids were already finished lunch and Danika hadn't even started yet. Silly girl!! A talker, just like her momma!! :)

Oh poop, I haven't fed Brinley yet and I'm craving an Orange Julius!!! If they only had lemonade flavour. Made a detour to Dairy Queen to get my treat, figured little Brinley would survive. Got home, fed the Princess a grilled cheese and cleaned up Ryder's tornado!!

Man, 2 kids is a whole lot of work! What the heck!!??? I may need one nanny per child, wait, that requires lots of money....hmmmm......maybe once I get into my own routine with Brinley and Little Bean, it'll all be good. I'm worried that I am going to end up in a mental institution, drooling, being fed apple sauce by my family while rocking back and forth, back and forth. I am worried about my posts after having this next princess, they may not make sense, they may involve tantrums, tears, frustration, booze. I think I need to go lay down.

Happy Wednesday!!

Sugar and Silly.....

Today, I went in for my gestational diabetes testing. I kept checking my blood sugar before I went, in hopes that I would 'pass' the test. When I woke up, I was at 5.9 and then 6.3 when I left for the appointment. Both were fine and well within the safe boundaries. I chugged down the orange syrup drink, which actually wasn't too bad, and sat around with Brinley for an hour. The lab out here was packed, which isn't a common sight, so I panicked when I got there because little Brinley would get bored and tired within a couple of hours. I decided to go straight to the back to see if I, Krista, would have to wait. Princess Krista doesn't wait in line ups!! Ok, totally kidding, but I did go back and check. SCORE!!! I didn't have to wait, I took the drink and waited an hour, then had my blood checked. I am crossing my fingers in hopes that it comes back ok. I would love to not have gestational diabetes, just one less thing to worry about. The only good thing about it is that you really watch everything that goes in your mouth. A lot of protein and no SLURPEES. Boo hoo!!!

The lab tech was super lovely and kind. I told her that this Little Bean has Down Syndrome. How she responded brought tears to my eyes. She told me that she thought it was just great and that we should be happy with our choice to continue on with this journey. She told me that her little girls are both in speech therapy and that there is something else going on with her youngest but they aren't too sure what yet, ADHD or perhaps Aspergers. She said to me that she remembers looking at the ultrasound screen and seeing this perfect little girl and she fell in love. She also said that you don't know what is to come. You don't know if your child is going to have learning difficulties or health concerns. You just love your kids. She also mentioned that she knows a little one with Down Syndrome and she is striving and doing great in school and has friends. I love these stories. I love the reassurance. I love the feeling that it will be ok. I still get scared and I still worry.

I said the most ridiculous thing at brunch the other day with all of our families. I blame it on pregnancy and hanging out with a 14 month old. My comment was "maybe this baby will come out looking like a Koenig." So this would mean that the baby would look like my brother-in-law, which would mean that we would have hooked up. Good lord Krista. Of course the families laughed and then I made it clear, I hope, that this baby and Brinley may look nothing alike, just like the Koenig children. That was my point. It totally came out wrong. I apologized to Ange, but of course she thought nothing of it. I must say ridiculous things all the time that the families didn't even flinch at my silliness. I need to go back to work and have some more adult conversations.

I don't have the link yet to the article but this is what is looks like. :)

Last thought....our story was in the HR Times today and he did a pretty good job. My quotes are accurate but a couple of the facts are inaccurate. My sister and brother live in HR, well that would mean that my sister is married to our brother, which I'm pretty sure isn't accurate and that my folks live down the street. No, they don't, but I wish they did, I think. :) The whole interview was put on tape, so to include information which was not said, is not very professional, but I am happy that there is a write up. Oh, one more thing, no picture of James, just Brinley and I. He did have a part in the making of this baby, so you would think that we would all be represented in the article.
I also am confused at why he would take stats from Boston and put use them in the article. That just doesn't apply to us. Statistics from Alberta would have been more beneficial and appropriate....maybe I should switch to journalism. :)

Happy Tuesday! <3