Loss.....

Kids with Down syndrome are always happy!

Life continues to be busy in the Collins' house! Both Brinley and Adele caught the stomach flu. I took Adele to the hospital to make sure that she was ok, we left within a couple of hours and it was all good. I can't stand seeing my babies sick. It breaks my heart. Today, everybody is healthy and well but I am so hyper vigilant when it comes to Adele's health. Always focused on feedings, poops, pees, breathing......it just goes on. So many added worries with this little girl.

We went to ACH yesterday for Adele's respiratory appointment. The weather was brutal. I gave myself two hours to get there, we made it on time with half hour to spare. We always get in right away and things usually run smoothly. We were there for three hours...holy crap! We met with a few people, including the physiotherapist. She said that because Adele is so floppy, it will be difficult to get started right now. She wants us to focus on her core, bringing her legs to her chest and having her reach for her feet. She also mentioned that the left side of her head is a bit flat. We knew this, as she favours the left side, but she is also fully capable of turning to the right. She said the word HELMET a few times. I don't think we are anywhere near the helmet stage. She said that if she continues to favour the left side, we could end up with a helmet and that it costs 2000 dollars and it's not covered. She mentioned a few times that it's not covered. Maybe I was dressed like a slob yesterday and I looked like 2000 bucks would do us in! Who knows.

The appointment ended with the doctor coming in and he was pleased with her oxygen levels. I didn't think he would say that we could go oxygen free during the day, but yup, we are free of tubes all day long. We will stick with the oxygen at night until they send us a monitor. Yay for Adele!!!!

We left the hospital at 4:30pm and I knew that it would take a while to get home. It was snowing, windy and rush hour. I just hoped that Adele would sleep.  It took us an hour and a half to get to Glenmore, then I find out that it's closed. I was pissed. I knew that I would have to take Blackfoot, with everybody else. Get onto Blackfoot and it's slow. Adele starts crying, I was starving and I was going to miss Ryder and Danika's Christmas concert. I realized that there was a car stalled on Blackfoot, not far from a set of lights. It's cold out. There was a young girl sitting in the car, everybody was pulling around her, heading for home. I contemplated. I contemplated some more. I got out, ran to her car and asked her if she was ok. She said that AMA was on their way. Nobody stops for a young girl in need? So sad.
Adele and I made it home in three hours. My ass was asleep. My tummy was so empty that I would have eaten brussel sprouts! Yes, I said brussel sprouts!!

I later found out that a little boy, 18 months had been taken to the hospital with another young boy and the 18 month old died from his injuries. All I could think of was, I am happy that I am hungry, I am happy that Adele was a bit cranky, I am so happy that it took me three hours to get home. We made it home, a week before Christmas, healthy and happy and alive. I can't imagine the devastation that the family is feeling. No time is a good time, but I think about all if the gifts that have been bought, the family was ready for Christmas and now that little boy is no longer here. My heart breaks for the family.

This brings me to my next thought....
My dear friend sent me a message a little while ago and mentioned that a good friend of hers lost her brother to a stroke. He was 35 years old. Had a stroke and a few days later, he lost his battle.
For some reason, this really affected me. We all hear stories, we feel bad, send love and prayers, then move on. This one bothered me.

I bitch at James....

Here's my list....

Wiping his mouth on the black towel after he brushes his teeth.
He doesn't clean Brinley's bibs after she eats.
He doesn't fold his shirts the way I fold shirts.
He farts in the fan.
He used a Lysol wipe on the couch when I was feeding Brinley.
He leaves toothpaste in the sink after he brushes his teeth.
He stares at the TV when Brinley is eating and she chucks her food.
He shaves and leaves little hairs in the sink.
He doesn't listen when I'm talking.
He humps my leg.
He buys 600 of something instead of just 1 item.
He doesn't drive the way I drive and I get car sick.
He talks to me when I'm in the shower.
He doesn't do his hair.
He hits the walls with objects because he isn't careful.
He spills.
He sometimes uses the wrong words in a sentence and because I am a teacher, I correct him.

Yes, I bitch! My sister and mom right now are going "Yup, that's Krista."

My point is that if I woke up one morning and there was no toothpaste on that towel, I would wipe my mouth on the towel. All I need to do is clean the bib. Who cares about the shirts. I fart in the fan too. I've used Lysol wipes while he's feeding Adele. I can take two seconds to wipe the toothpaste out of the sink. I can clean up the mess that Brinley makes. He cleans up the mess that Brinley makes. I can wipe out the sink. No man listens when a woman is talking. I would hump my own leg if he stopped. I like that he tries to impress me by buying all different types of an item so that I smile. He does need a driving lesson. I would talk to myself in the shower if he stopped. He doesn't want to do his hair because he doesn't want another woman to hit on him. :) He does his hair when needed. He paints the damaged walls. He has his psych degree and he's smart.

Merry Christmas!!!



I don't ever want to be faced with the upset of losing a loved one in a tragic accident. I don't want to be faced with regrets. I need to appreciate all of the amazing things that James does for his family and to let go of the petty, ridiculous and minute things, that mean nothing. We get so caught up in our lives. We get so caught up in bills, sickness, kids and our busy lives, that we don't stop to breathe and enjoy all of the fabulous moments. I know that it is cliché, but we are here on this earth for such a short time, we need to make it amazing. We need to be the best that we can be. We need to call friends. We need to send out Christmas cards. We need to tell others that we love them. We need to appreciate those who are closest to us.
In a moment, one breath, one heartbeat, it can all be lost.