As we all know, being a mom is the hardest job in the whole world. We want to throw the towel in at least once a week, well, once a day, we lose our patience, more easily some days, we swear, or maybe it's just me. I have sworn. I still swear, sometimes. We leave our children in their pyjamas all day long, we give them Kraft Dinner for lunch, we hand over the IPad just to get a ten minute break, we give in, we text daddy and tell him that we are done. We are spent. We want to curl up into a little ball, in the corner of the room, with a bottle of rum. We postponed potty training because for the love of Pete, it takes work. We eat on TV trays in the living room.....the TV is on. We sigh. We take deep breaths all day long. We count to ten. We snack on junk food because it will make us happy. We add an extra nap for the kids, so that we can sit down and relax and find more energy for the rest of the day. It's a damn hard job being a mom.
When Brinley came into our room this morning at 7:30am, she tiptoed quietly to her dad's side of the bed, she climbed up, got as close as she could to me, looked at me and smiled. I whispered to her that she needed to be quiet because her sister was still sleeping. She had her two Minnie dolls, pulled them close to her and closed her eyes. I stared at her. I looked at the shape of her eyes, the shape of her nose and her ten little fingers up above her head. She was so content. We stayed in bed until Adele woke up at 8:00am. As soon as Brinley heard her sister stirring, she yelled "Adele is up!"
Brinley's excitement to see her sister is the exact same every day. She acts as if it is the first time she's seeing Adele, every time. She ran over to her crib, put her hands through the wooden posts and rubbed her head, touched her face and they both giggled.
This is why I love being a mom.
We came downstairs and as I was getting breakfast ready, the girls were giggling. They were playing with their toys and playing so nicely together. Adele idolizes her big sister.
This is why I love being a mom.
Adele gets close to the stairs and Brinley yells "ADELE FALL! MOM! ADELE FALL!" She is so protective of her baby sister. She brings Adele a toy so that it will distract her from going near the stairs. "Adele play."
This is why I love being a mom.
We are working on potty training and it's going great. We play educational games on the IPad and Brinley shocks me with all that she knows. She navigates on an IPad better than her father and I. She loves puzzles, colouring and Lego. She loves imaginary play.
This is why I love being a mom.
Our lives are complicated. Our lives are busy. We take care of our children the best we know how. We have made mistakes. We will continue to make mistakes. We will apologize to our children numerous times and I'm ok with this. I'm ok with admitting fault to my children. I thought about how much work it would be to have children but truly didn't fully think about all that it entails when we were planning on starting a family. Does this make sense? You know that it will be hard work. You know that you will be responsible for this new life, but there are also so many things that you don't think about. You never think about if it will be difficult to conceive. You don't think about if there will be complications. You don't think about if your baby will be diagnosed with Down syndrome. Autism. One less chromosome. Asperger's. You don't think about delivery and if there will be complications. We are sometimes faced with more challenges than others. We are sometimes faced with extra worries and concerns. What I have come to realize is that we are all in this together. We are all moms. We all love our children unconditionally. We would take a bullet for our children. We advocate. We teach our children to be the best that they can be. We try our best.
I feel that as moms, we compete with each other. We feel that we need to best Pinterest mom that we can be. We need to have it all together, all of the time. Our lives are perfect. Make sure that when you post pictures of your child's second birthday, you include the $200 piñata and the Perrier water that you strategically placed right beside the loot bags that are filled with $100 worth of goodies. My god, social media has turned you into a lunatic.
This year, I will focus on a few things. I am going to slow down. I am going to appreciate the days. I am going to wake up, thankful for my family. I am going to be present. I will continue to love my children with all of my heart. I will continue to provide a safe, happy and healthy home for my children. I will not compete with others. I will not get down on myself for making mistakes. I will forgive myself.
I am not one to make New Year's resolutions but I came up with a list of things that I will do this year and I hope that some of you will join me.
1) Meditate - now when I say meditate, I am not saying that you need to sit on a fluffy cushion, palms up, make humming noises. Meditation comes in many forms. Alone time to gather your thoughts.
2) Don't worry about what others think of you. You are you and you are amazing.
3) Do things that you have wanted to do. Stop putting things off. You want to go kayaking? Do it! You want to take a yoga class? Do it! You want to try naked hot yoga? I think you're weird.
4) Give yourself credit. Pump yourself up. Tell yourself that you are worth it. You ARE worth it!
5) Forgive, forget and move on. Forgiveness can be easy, but forgetting can be difficult. Let go of all that has been holding you back from being truly happy. Let yourself be happy.
6) Don't feel sorry for yourself. At some point, you need to move on and step up to the plate. Don't compare your situation to others. Don't hide in a corner because you had a shitty childhood. Do what you need to do to heal.
7) Have fun. Do things that make you laugh. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. Surround yourself with love and those who show you support, especially in times of need. Don't give into those who bring you down. Don't spend time with those who cause you heartache.
8) Don't email, text or send Facebook messages, when you should pick up the phone and call. If your good friend is celebrating a birthday, call them. You soon come to realize who your friends are.....there are texting friends, Facebook friends and those who call and make the time to see you.
9) If you make a mistake, admit it and move on. We are all allowed second chances. Give yourself a break.
10) Listen to your gut. Do what is right for you and your family. You need to be selfish sometimes and that's ok. Nobody else is in your position. Nobody has the right to judge somebody else's journey.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
