8 May 2013

Sugar Crisps and Number 1.....

Yesterday we had our weekly OB appointment and it went great. The 1.5 hour wait to get in wasn't so awesome but I had grandma there to keep Brinley entertained. She was a perfect, little girl. No crying, no whining, just happy. It wasn't my usual doctor, which was just fine. She was thorough and made sure that she went through all of my records and took some notes for herself. I had gestational diabetes with Brinley as well as high blood pressure so we need to stay on top of all of that fun stuff. My BP was pretty good yesterday, so the meds are doing their job! Little Bean's heartbeat was also perfect. We didn't hear any palpitations or hiccups, just a beautiful, strong heartbeat. It's such a wonderful sound. That was grandma's first time. She told me after that she was worried about hearing a little hiccup and that it could have made her sad, but no need, it was perfect. I have my requisition forms for blood work and one for the awful gestational diabetes test. YAY!!!! I'll get that done soon.

I am now carrying a viable baby. We are officially 6 months and that's without rounding up! The other night while I was laying in bed, the thought crossed my mind that you can terminate a pregnancy up to 23 weeks 6 days. I don't know why I thought about it as we are on this journey and we are doing it! I couldn't imagine a mother and father having to make the decision to terminate at this point, whether by choice or because baby has a severe and terminal medical condition. How traumatizing and upsetting. I feel this little girl kicking and rolling and punching, not that I love the feeling, but I enjoy knowing that she is doing just fine.

I had a dream the other night, I just forgot what I was going to write. Crap...give me a second..............Oh yes, my water broke at 36 weeks, not too bad but kind of early. The contractions hit quick and hard. We didn't have time to go to Calgary so we had to go to the HR Hospital. I got there and we delivered quickly. I told the doctor first that Brinley had shot out like a rocket and gave me a third degree tear, so if he could ease this one out, that would be great. I love the control I have over my dreams sometimes. :)
I delivered and the doctor asked if we were sure that she had Down Syndrome??? Oh my goodness....we informed him that we paid almost 1000 dollars to have the NIPT done as well as an amnio just to make sure. Great, so now she doesn't have Down Syndrome???!???! Wait, that's great news! Wait, we are all prepared, I think, to have a baby with Down Syndrome. I don't want a baby without Down Syndrome! Of course I want a baby without Down Syndrome. Head was spinning. Tears were falling. So confused.
I woke up. When I dream about this little bean, I wake up exhausted. I try not to over-analyze my dreams but I can't help but try to figure out what it all means. I think it's my fears. I have so many fears. I think about how the world is going to accept this little girl. I think about how her cousins are going to be her protectors. I think about how her Auntie and Uncle won't tolerate any crap from anybody. I think about my loud and overbearing self. I think about how James will deal with everything. I think about his laid back personality and how he internalizes his emotions. It's different when this little one is on the inside because I feel that I am totally facing the unknown. I think way too much. I know that when this baby gets here, my fears will subside, hopefully, sort of, a bit. As parents, you just worry so much about your kids. You want them to love life, their family, school and others. It's just one more added worry when your child is born with a special genetic gift. You worry even more. I need to remember, one day at a time. It's such a rollercoaster of feelings and emotions. I usually have these thoughts after a dream or an appointment. Gets me thinking. I need to think like man. ;)

Last thought....I had a bowl of Sugar Crisps the other day. Had to go to the bathroom a little while later, just number 1 and get this, my urine smelled exactly like Sugar Crisps. Honestly, go buy a box!! It was big news in our house! I may need more fresh air. :)

Happy Wednesday to you my friends. <3

7 May 2013

You're Only 6 Months.....You Look HUGE!!!


Yesterday my session at Cocktails and Dreams was cancelled so I settled for a virgin slurpee and a walk around the pond. It was hot out...too hot for me!
You need to read today's blog....it's awesome!
Amy Morrison is the Canadian asshat behind Pregnant Chicken. She started the website when she found out that she could have safely consumed caffeinated coffee during both her pregnancies and she was livid. She decided that the truth needed to be told about the myths surrounding pregnancy and the crap that goes along with it.
Thanks to my good friend Wilson (Jody) for sharing this one with me!! :)

10. Tell her your birth story. Even if she starts to walk away, just follow her with every gory detail about your birth. The more painful and horrible, the better. And be sure to keep asking her if she’s scared. If she says “no” just ask her if she’s sure or tell her that she should be. Maybe she needs to hear about your episiotomy again.
9. Suggest a name. It’s doubtful that she and her partner have put a lot of thought into choosing a name so it’s important that you weigh in on this decision with a couple of names you thought of on the way into work. If you come up with a funny one be sure to greet her stomach with it, for example scream, “How’s it going in there, Ass-Clown-Charlie Brown?!” Be sure to lean on the surname when you say it.
8. Comment on her size. If she’s looking big be sure to ask if she’s sure there isn’t two in there or if she’s sure she’s due in two months and not at noon. If she looks small be sure to ask her where she’s hiding it or suggest maybe she just swallowed a grape. This one might also make her worry that something’s wrong so it’s a nice double whammy.
7. Jump in with “Just you wait until the baby comes” anytime she looks like she’s enjoying herself or if she’s a little too happy about the baby. Clearly she doesn’t realize how difficult it is to have a baby so it’s up to you to make sure she doesn’t get too excited. Babies are awful.
6. Tell her what she should and shouldn’t be doing. It really is amazing that she made it as far as she has considering how reckless she’s being with her diet and daily routine. Normally you wouldn’t care but seeing as there’s a baby involved, you better get in there and smack that coffee out of her hand; or better yet, just give her dirty looks and shake your head. That will teach her. You don’t want your tax dollars going towards that kid’s tail removal someday.
5. Ask her if her pregnancy was an accident. The less you know the woman the better because it will make her realize that you don’t approve of her reproductive schedule (of course you would never come out and say that because that would just be rude). An even subtler comment would be, “You know how that happens, right?” Everybody in the room will think it’s funny but she knows, and you know, that you’ve just pointed out that she’s had sex. If she becomes offended, just tell her it was a joke and to lighten up then roll your eyes and say “hormones”.
4. Ask her if she knows what she’s having. If she tells you the sex ask her if she’s disappointed that she isn’t having the opposite (on the off chance that she says “yes”, be sure to tell her child that their mother didn’t want them at an age appropriate time). If she says that they aren’t finding out the sex, act surprised and say “Don’t you want to know?!”. Say it in a way that implies that she isn’t interested in her baby.
3. Ask her if she conceived naturally especially if you don’t know the woman very well. Be sure to ask her in front of other strangers if possible. It’s a great question because if she used fertility treatments she has to reveal a very person, private part of her life and if she didn’t she also has to reveal a very person, private part of her life. If she says that it’s none of your business, you can just hold up your hands in defense and say, “Whoa, easy, I was just asking a question. Someone is touchy today.” She can’t win. It’s a delicious catch 22.
2. Toward the end of her pregnancy, be surprised every time you see her. Say things like “Are you STILL pregnant.” and “Haven’t you had that baby yet?” and extra helpful “I guess it just doesn’t want to come out” – which is nice because it points out the delivery she is *clearly* putting off and it’s a little gross too.
1. Touch her belly. The less you know her, the better. Just walk up to her and start molesting her stomach. Make an “MMmmmm” noise while you do it. If that doesn’t get her going, put your face right up to her belly button and talk into it like a microphone. Ask the baby how they’re doing and listen for an answer. If that still doesn’t upset her, comment how her baby doesn’t move much because it didn’t respond to your voice and how she may want to talk to her doctor about that.

Happy Tuesday!!! :))

6 May 2013

Mother's Day SUCKS!!!!

Well I guess today is going to be 25. You can kick me in the shins for this comment but that is way too hot for me! I enjoy a mild 15 degrees, that's a perfect day for me!! :)

We had family dinner last night, it was nice seeing my dad. They got back a week ago from their 2 week Hawaiian cruise. Everybody is tanned except for me...I'm white and pasty! Blah!

My first random thought for the day is about Mother's Day. Since Brinley, I feel that I must get all crafty and make the grandmothers their gifts. I don't do arts and crafts so I don't know why I must put myself through the pain and agony of coming up with an idea and then actually follow through with that idea. Last year, I got mad, I yelled, I swore, I gave up, I swore again, then I finished the craft. This year, I tried the very simple task of painting a very simple object and I ruined 2 canvases. The letters won't stick to the canvas, so I swore, I yelled, I gave up, I swore.....I'm taking them over to Bob's so he can paint for me. He has talent, I have none. When I taught grade 1, those precious, little beings loved everything I made. They thought I was the greatest. In reality, I suck!

Next thought is regarding Facebook. As an adult, I use Facebook as a tool to connect with friends, share silly stories and pictures. I don't understand why people...

1) Have to announce to everybody as your status update that you are removing several friends from your list because you just don't talk to them anymore. Sometimes it is also mentioned that people should feel privileged if they made the cut. Are you kidding me?? Just remove those you don't talk to and grow up!

2) Please don't post pictures of tortured animals and children. Feel free to post an article or a link then we have the option of clicking on the link. Respect others and their feelings.

3) Don't bash your family or friends or an ex. Deal with it, pretend you are an adult.

4) Please stop posting random pictures of kids with Down Syndrome to my wall. I get that you care and that you are being considerate, but I don't post pictures (tag you) in pictures of kids without Down Syndrome to your wall. Feel free to send me a private message.

Today, I head back to Cocktails and Dreams and have an hour long margarita! I feel good, my head space is pretty good and I have actually felt human again these past few days. I think we may just gossip and have a few laughs today. I sort of followed through on my goals....I did go out on my own a couple of times without baby and husband, just me time. I'm wondering if any of you actually followed through on my free advice??? :)

I must go play with a baby now. I hope you have a beautiful and wonderfully sunny day.

5 May 2013

Really...a Ouija Board???

So...yesterday, I took the day off. We had a really awesome time with the family. James, Brinley and I went out for lunch then grabbed a Starbucks. I was worried because the last time I had a coffee, I spent the day in bed because it made me so nauseous. Nope, this went down just like a margarita!!
We spent the whole afternoon at my sister's place with her, Bob and the kids. We learnt that Brinley does not like grass, the horrible feeling of hard, dead grass on her knees. I loved though that when I put her down, she crawled all the way over to the patio instead of crying. She went on the trampoline for the first time and loved it! It was so nice to spend the day out in the sun. Danika takes such good care of her cousin. It is the sweetest sight.  The only damage to auntie yesterday was the shovel that got smashed just above my eye by Ryder and the remote control that Brinley conked over my head at bedtime. I'd say overall, a smashingly wonderful day. Oh, and the heartburn from the taco dinner but the 39 Tums that I took eased the pain. I only had 2 of them for those of you who just gasped....I would have preferred 39! :)

So our little Brinley has taken a few steps but still prefers crawling. She gets pretty excited when we clap and cheer...we must look ridiculous but I get so excited. Hopefully she gets movin more on those feet soon. I know I've already told you about the first steps but I thought that maybe by writing about it again, it would send walking vibes her way!!

We also took Brinley for her first haircut on Friday. She was perfect. She sat in the chair and let the stylist cut her hair. I love that it was 6 bucks compared to mommy's 100 and some. :) Auntie Angela calls her a diva, but she already prefers Timmy's over Starbucks and Supercuts over the salon....I would say a great start.

I've had a few readers ask how James and I met....it's a funny story. We actually met at a baby shower. He was just about to leave and I didn't even know the guest of honour. I love crashing baby showers. :) I asked him where the party was, he said out back. That was the extent of our conversation. I had just been on a date and telling some of my friends how the date went...all said in a bitter tone. James heard it all!
"I am so tired of men. We met at Mount Royal Village at a coffee shop. He took the bus, showed up with a man purse, light jeans and sneakers and later informed that he asked his mommy for a ouija board for his upcoming birthday, oh and that he frequents the clubs on his own. Then at the end of the 'date' he tells me that he would like to be friends and that I wasn't really his type. I AM SO DONE WITH MEN!!!!"
James, I guess had just been on a date with a nut case and was done with women.
We were told by the guest of honour and by her sister that we were both single and should hook up. Ok, let's be Facebook friends, ok, let's talk on the phone, ok, let's have a date, ok, 7 months later, let's get engaged, ok, 8 months later, let's move in together, ok, a year later, let's get married. What the heck!!!! :)
It all worked out just perfect!! I am so glad that I am done with the dating scene but I have to admit that sometimes I miss hooking up with the girls, having a drink then heading to the bar at 10:00pm and dancing the night away. I lost so much weight! Those were the days. :)

Happy Sunday!! :))

3 May 2013

Taxes and Love and Boobs....

Just a quickie today! :) Well, I thought it was going to be a quickie, then I started typing!

Paid our taxes, which let's be honest would have allowed us to go on a nice tropical vacation. I love how the government gives you EI then at the end tells you that you weren't really taxed all that much so we are going to have you pay thousands back!! What a kind and loving thing to do!! Taxes suck!

Lately in my dreams, I have been beating people up! What is going on?? I swear a lot and throw punches. You would think that I would wake up feeling relieved that I took some people down, but no, I'm not really enjoying it! Last night, I also dreamt that Brinley lost her cuteness and she wasn't walking yet nor could she really talk. I was trying to explain to others that she was only 13 months, but nobody believed me because she was so tall. I don't know if these are my fears again with this little bean. Now, I am not hung up on cuteness and let's be honest, little girls with DS are adorable. I think with being a teacher, I set my standards pretty high. I don't need brilliant children, but I do think that as parents, you need to give your child as many opportunities as you can for them to grow and develop. I want Brinley and Baby Collins to explore the world, or at least some of it, I want them to learn from others, I want them to appreciate different religions and cultures, I want them to respect others who have disabilities and to be understanding and loving kids. I also want them to respect themselves, their bodies and their minds. It is so important to James and to me that we do all that we can as parents to show these two precious girls how to love and be loved and pray that they become the best that they can be. I want the best for my kids. I look at Brinley all of the time and tell James that the love I feel for Brinley is indescribable. I have never loved another being the way I love our little girl. Being a parent, is by far the most difficult job but holy crap is it the most rewarding. I am so glad that I am a mom. 

So I made the nausea pops yesterday and saved the rest in the fridge. I went to have popsicle this morning and well, I can't get them out. The sticks come out but not the popsicle. I guess that's what happens when you buy 2 dollar molds.  So, I'm thinking that my only option is getting a spoon and start digging. I had some of the leftover smoothie this morning and it truly is delish. The problem, without sharing too much information, fruit and small amounts of it do something to my bowels. I have weak sauce bowels. I love fruit and could eat it all day but.......good lord.......

Last thought.....I was talking to a friend yesterday who recently had a baby and it brought back some memories. :) I guess her little one is having troubles latching and she is not producing enough milk. I reassured her that it is normal and OK. I didn't produce enough milk with Brinley. I was taking 13 pills a day, pumping and breastfeeding. I did this for 4 months, then decided that it wasn't happening anymore. I was not hung up on breastfeeding nor am I one of those moms who is all crazy that you HAVE to breastfeed and that is the ONLY way to go. You do what works and what is best for you and your family. I had some people tell me that they were sorry that I couldn't breastfeed. I was confused...do you think we aren't feeding her any food?? I give her my one ounce then watch her starve for a few hours? We fed her, it's call formula and she loved it. I loved it! James loved it! It gave me the freedom to go out and it allowed James to bond with his daughter. On a selfish note, I would have loved to breastfeed to help with weight loss but it didn't work, I was also kind of excited to get those porn star boobs, that didn't happen. It all worked out...sort of...my boobs are a bit droopier and I didn't lose all the baby weight but Brinley is happy and healthy and that's what matters. I'm pretty sure that when she starts school, the teacher won't ask us if our baby was breastfed or formula fed. I don't think they separate those kids. I'm pretty sure she will be just fine! :)

Happy Friday!!! :)

Nicole, today's blog is for you!! xo

2 May 2013

Lemonade and Punches.....

I was thinking this morning that I may go to writing the blog every other day. I don't want to lose readers but I also don't want to bore people with my life. :) Let me know what you think.

James just recently informed me that I am beating him up at night. Who knew?? Our routine.....we do story and cuddle time with Brinley in our bed, then James takes Brinley to her bedroom and puts her down for the night. He comes back and rubs and scratches my back, then I flip over and usually lay with one hand up on his pillow. I can't stand that I am so predictable....good lord. I need to kick things up a notch. I always fall asleep before James. When I fall asleep, my hand on his pillow, I guess, cause I've been told, is giving him punches and slaps.  He asked me the other night before bed if I knew what I was doing. I joked and told him it's payback time....I told him that if I was asleep, I have no idea what my body is doing and I don't take any responsibility for bruises, bites or scratches. I guess I'm getting some aggression out when I'm sleeping. Hmmmm....I was dreaming about zombies the other night, it was crazy scary!!!

It was totally productive....I just liked the happy pony!!
I actually had a semi productive day yesterday. Ange and the kiddies stopped by so I got some nice cuddles with my babies. I'm glad she's home. We can text all the time now without restrictions. I enjoy having my family all together....the folks better not be planning retirement elsewhere cause I don't think Ange and I would go for that one. After all, it is all about us and our happiness.
I cleaned, dusted, opened some windows, fed and watered a baby and cooked a nice dinner. I say yup to a productive day!!

I am now addicted to The Voice and American Idol. I love the new judges on The Voice, but my lord, Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey drive me nuts. They are always touching their hair, making sure it's perfectly smooth, they wear clothes that are so tight that sometimes they aren't even able to stand up and they are so bitter with each other. Next person, Randy, you annoy me too. You call women dude and dawg and man...you have no class and you don't fit in anymore. Time for a new job.
Keith, I have no problems with you. You are beautiful and kind and considerate and a lovely person inside and out. I have added you to my exception list. I have some difficulties understanding what he sees in his wife, she is full of collagen and botox.  She lost her looks somewhere along the way. She could also use a Big Mac or two or three.
Random...speaking of Big Macs, it's McHappy day soon, I may have to take advantage of the opportunity to indulge....it is all about the kids after all. :)

I am now 6 months along...well actually, I am one week short of that but I believe in rounding up! She is moving a lot and enjoys food!! I also think that she fully respects and appreciates or maybe tolerates her mommy's addiction to lemonade. I honestly can't get enough. Part of me feels that an intervention is necessary. I think about too often, raspberry, cherry, regular, I don't even care what the flavour may be, just lemonade. It's a sad, sad sight here at the Collins' house.

I told me friend Kimmy that I wouldn't post my blog today until 8:21am because her kids almost missed the bus yesterday, momma was too busy reading the blog. Totally cracked me up. I have the best friends ever. Kimmy and her sister Robin and wonderful and beautiful women. I am grateful and blessed to be able to call them my friends. <3

Have a lovely day. xo

1 May 2013

Push Peanut, Push.....

So I was just going to stay home yesterday because I felt pretty awful then was going to get baby's heartbeat checked out today. My dear friend Ryann, who works at the HR Hospital, sent me a message telling me that my OB had informed her that I was to go in yesterday and get it done. I love having friends who care. James, Brinley and I went in but the NST was not too successful. Baby Collins is so tiny right now, just over and pound and moves constantly, so getting a consistent heartbeat is rather difficult. There were two of us in a room, the lady next to me didn't realize that she was in labour, 4 centimetres dilated and ready to go that day. I wished at that point that it was me!! :)
The nurses and the doctors at the HR Hospital are amazing and wonderful and some of the most considerate professionals that I have ever met. People call the hospital the HR Hilton, that's how great it is! I wasn't able to deliver Brinley there nor will we be able to deliver this little bean there because I am deemed high risk from the start. Too bad.

Well, Teree's little one decided to make an even earlier arrival. She gave birth to a beautiful, baby boy last night, just after 10:00pm. He's just a tiny little guy, weighing in at 5 lbs 15oz.
Mommy and baby are doing great! I can't wait to get some pictures. He is being welcomed into a loving and wonderful home. Congrats my dear friend. <3

Just watching Breakfast Television and the host just did a clip on cancer, every day, 43 Albertans are diagnosed with cancer. That is shocking and devastating. I think that it's too bad that the cure, which I'm sure is out there somewhere, is being swept under the rug so all those pharmaceutical companies don't lose billions every year. I wonder??!???!???

Last random thought for the day...there are 2 words that I can't stand, retard and penetration. These two words have irked me for years and make it known to others when they use them. Friends will tease me by using the 'P' word as often as they can, but the 'R' word, they don't use as it also bothers them too. When we were at the Comic Con on the weekend, we walked past a group of people and one of the girls used the 'R' word. James and I both cringed at the same time, actual body shaking. James looked at me and said that he's never really liked that word, but now it just infuriates him.  Be considerate of others.

Today, we rest. Daddy has a full day at work and Brinley and mommy are going to hang out and do some cleaning.  :)
I hope everybody has a happy Wednesday!